"What Matters?"

Between a baby shower for Annie, a funeral and a birthday party at my house, my life is out of control. Spencer flew in Thurs. evening to join Annie and the boys for Memorial Day. He took us all to breakfast on Friday morning and that was a treat. The funeral for Dave's brother-in-law Craig was yesterday morning and we had Tayler's birthday party last night. I thought when you got old it would get easier and more relaxing, but I honestly think it gets way busier. You have more people to worry about and celebrate with.

Tonight we will join our extended family at the Mesa Cemetery to honor those we love who have passed away. I don't know if it is just stress or being tired that has stirred up some sadness and anxiety in my mind and heart. I remember a time that going to the cemetery was a social event that we went to so my Mom would quit nagging us about it. Now it has a whole new meaning for our family. I still can't believe it has been almost two years since Kamber passed away, it seems like just yesterday. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about her and miss her cheerful little personality. I hope to be worthy to see her again.

As I was getting ready for the funeral yesterday I had a hard time controlling my emotions. I felt so bad for the six children and their mother who will not have a father or husband in this mortal life anymore. I was comparing losing a child to an accident and an adult with terminal cancer. Would it be better to know your loved one was going to pass on, or have a sudden death? I guess it doesn't really matter, they are both hard. The speakers were so good. I pulled out a piece of paper and wrote some things down. One said, "we need more loving and less judgement." Then the last speaker talked about "what matters?" He went through a whole list of things that don't matter, like how much stuff we have. When you get down to the time we pass away, and we will all get there someday, it only matters how you treated people. What service you rendered and if you showed, with your actions how much you loved your family. I always feel like I need to do better when I go to a funeral. I hate the idea of it, but I feel uplifted after.

Tayler is nine years old today. My grandchildren are getting so old. She is such a sweet little girl and we feel so lucky to have her in our family. It was nice to have all the grand kids together even for just a short time. By the end of the summer we will have two more grandchildren. I don't know if Rich and I can afford all these kids, but we sure love them all!