Tuesday, May 29, 2012

"Calm Down and Carry On"



Last night when I went to bed I had this thought come over me, "we are probably the most boring family in the world." I don't know why that came to me, was it because we didn't do anything special for Memorial Day, or is it that our lives are boring. A friend and I went shopping yesterday for my birthday. I didn't find anything but she found a cute skirt and sweater on sale. If you could see my closets stuffed with clothes you would know that I have enough clothes to wear until I die, but I do love to shop. Rich is consumed with work, church and getting geared up for the Trek tomorrow. He and Tristyn are suppose to leave early tomorrow morning but she has been up all night throwing up and hasn't been able to keep anything down. Isn't that the way life is, when you look forward to something it doesn't turn out like you wanted. I remember when I graduated from high school I came down with the flu. I was so sick while walking across the football field I thought I would pass out. I still remember how I asked my friend next to me Gayle Goettle to help me if I didn't make it across. My sister got married a few days later and I remember still being weak and sick. Spencer called from Boston as we were decorating at the cemetery. They had a rough weekend moving all their earthly possessions from a storage unit to their new house. They had no one to help them, I guess that's the price you pay when you move to the other side of the country where there isn't any family support.  On Mother's Day when he called, I was upset about some stuff that happened that day. As we hung up he said, "Calm Down and Carry On." That's his knew motto and he's always trying to calm me down, so I can carry on with my boring life. On the other hand Rich always says, "all things are boring to the bore," so I guess I will just continue on with my boring life and be thankful nothing earth shattering is going on. We do have two birthdays this week, so maybe life will pick up a little bit.

Sunday, May 27, 2012

Families Can Be Together Forever

I went outside this morning to let the little dogs out and I couldn't believe how cool it was. I came in and looked at the temperature and it said 69 degrees. I can't remember a time in late May that it was that cool, I'm not complaining, as I understand it won't get that cool until Oct. or Nov.  I have had such a busy week with my birthday, the end of school, working on quilts, wedding receptions and then yesterday we spent most of the day looking for clothes for Tristyn to wear on the Trek. Rich and her leave early Wed. morning for their journey back in time. Last night as Rich and I were getting ready for bed we had the t.v. on listening to the news. They were talking about some of the major stories of the day which were, two child drownings and a 500 pound gate crushing a two year old. I was so sad when I went to bed I could hardly sleep. This morning we were talking about how unfair life is, and how we will all someday pass on to the other side. I made the comment that if we really knew how good it was there, we would be so happy for those who have gone before us. Then Rich mentioned how we are all born with that great survival instinct, where we would do all we can to prolong our lives. This morning in church the talks were on service and sacrifice. Service is when we just do a little something to help another person, but that sacrifice is way more. He talked a lot about those in the military who have given the ultimate sacrifice, their lives for our freedoms. It made me think about my two uncles who have served in the Air Force and my cousin who was an Army Special Opps. guy. I am so thankful for them and their service and example to me. I'm also thankful for the special people in my life who were such good examples of courage and faith. Tonight as an extended family we will take our stroll through the Mesa Cemetery, cleaning the graves of our ancestors who gave us the opportunity to love them and who set an example for all of us to follow. And for sweet Kamber who's little life was cut way too short, has taught us some of the most important lessons of all, the importance of being faithful in our desire to be like Christ and our knowledge that Families Can Be Together Forever.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Thanks for Making Me Feel Special



Thanks to everyone who called, brought by presents and for my darling girls who took me to lunch. I started out with a pedicure that Candi had given me a gift certificate for about two years ago. They were nice enough to honor it. I felt guilty sitting in the chair as the girl, filed, scrubbed and massaged my feet and legs. I told her it was my 59th birthday and she said, "you were born in '53 huh?" She knew it because she is my same age. She was a tiny little lady from Vietnam but did a great job. After the pampering, we met up with Candi and her boys at Chili's. I ate WAY too much, why do I do that? Candi ordered chips and salsa, then queso dip, while Mindi had eggrolls. That was just our appetizers. Then we had the little bites, small hamburgers with onion rings and french fries.  I ordered a salad that I could hardly get through. I washed it down with two strawberry lemonades and then wondered why I was in bed the rest of the day with a stomach ache. After taking Tums, tylenol and some digestive enzymes, I was finally feeling better when Rich got home from work. He asked me what we were doing for dinner for my birthday and all I could say was, "I'm not eating one more thing today, my stomach hurts." So he was happy we brought home all the leftovers for him. He's good about that, just being okay with something. When Rich got home yesterday he sat down by the bed and we talked. He said he had gotten a call from a dear friend he has done some work for. His wife was the secretary for a company that he's done work for a long time. She was 85 years old and really sick with leukemia. Well, she passed away yesterday morning at 11:30. Two years ago Dave's brother-in-law died on my birthday, and a year ago it was the big tornado that tore through Joplin, Missouri. I was telling my Mom that maybe the 22nd of May isn't that great of a day, it's an unlucky day. All she said was, "it was a day that we had this darling little girl come into our family." What would I do without her? Anyway, next year I swear I will be way more careful about what I eat and in what amounts because when I turn 60 it's going to be really hard.

Monday, May 21, 2012

"Just Count the Live Ones"

On Friday night when Rich got home from his interview we were talking about what he was asked. I always wonder what happens in those conversations in private, behind closed doors. I asked him if he told the general authorities about Kamber and how sad we are. He said "yes" and then I said, "well what did he say about that?" Rich said, "that those experiences are a refiners fire we have to go through in this mortal life." Then Rich went on to tell me a story that Elder Edwards told him about a dairy farmer that was serving a mission in the Phillipines with him. He had told him a story about when he was first married and only had a few cows, every night he would worry about something happening to them in the night, that maybe one would die which would cause financial ruin to his family.  So every night he couldn't sleep, he would just worry. When he would finally get up, the first thing he would do was go out and see if any were dead. After doing this for a long time, one morning as he was heading out to count them, he heard a voice that said, "just count the live ones." At first I didn't really understand what that meant, but then I realized that we need to stop looking at all our troubles and start counting all the blessing we have. I am so NOT good at doing that, seeing all the possitives and leaving the negatives alone. This weekend is Memorial day and all our extended family will go to the cemetery to honor those who have gone before us. I am so proud of my pioneer ancestors and all those who have help make me who I am today.

Sunday, May 20, 2012

This Weekend is a BLURR

This weekend has been a blurr. Rich has been so busy with all that goes into them dividing our stake, that my head is still spinning. On Friday he fasted all day and attended the temple, then met with two general authorities for his appointment later on that night. I was busy running around getting everything done because I knew yesterday with baby showers, conference and Rich's birthday, I needed to get groceries and so forth. On Sat. morning he came in and said that President Barker wanted to meet with us in 30 minutes. What? Don't they know it takes a girl longer than that to get ready? So off to the races, showering, blow drying and curling my hair then get the makeup on, dressed and out the door we went. I absolutely hate being put on the spot for an interview and with my anxiety I felt like this might be the end for me. Rich kept telling me it was no big deal it would just be a fast interview and we would be out of there. He was right, it wasn't a big deal, just them asking Rich to continue doing his job on the high council. Whew! I wasn't really worried because I know what I'm capable of doing and so does Heavenly Father. On the way home from conference this morning I felt a little bit sad. I thought I would be happy to have cut the crowds in half, but there are lots of people who we love that we won't see much anymore. Tonight is Seminary Graduation and Rich's job on the high council is to conduct that meeting and get through it. Then it will be the end to a very stressful and busy weekend. I feel so unprepared and inadequate for some of this church work, but we will continue to serve as long as we can or they release us. Then we can take an extended vacation, sure.

Friday, May 18, 2012

"We Can Do Hard Things"

Another week has come and gone and I survived it. I wasn't sure there for awhile but it's Friday so I must have gotten through it. I probably had two of the most hurtful things happen to me this week, but I also had a few very kind ones showered on me too. Isn't that what life is all about, "opposition in all things?" We have two baby showers tomorrow so I have been busy making baby quilts. I'm putting the finishing touches on both of them so hopefully they will be finished. I was asked by a good friend to take my sewing machine to the church Wed. evening and help sew together the pajama pants the girls will be wearing for the Trek and camp. After having to pick out the stitches twice in my first pair, I realized that my talent is not making apparel, just quilts. I finally just ended up ironing the waistbands and sewing them and the hems. I must not be that bad because they want me to go back in two weeks, Oh Joy! I started reading the conference talks and the first one is President Packer, "And a Little Child Shall Lead Them." I was a little bit down when I was reading and a few things really touched my heart. He says, "The ultimate end of all activity in the Church is to see a husband and his wife and their children happy at home, protected by the principles and laws of the gospel, sealed safely in the covenants of the everlasting priesthood. Husbands and wives should understand that their fist calling-from which they will never be released-is to one another and then to their children." 'He goes on to talk about how "the great discoveries of parenthood is that we learn far more about what really matters from our children than we ever did from our parents. We come to recognize the truth in Isaiah's prophecy that "a little child shall lead them." I know I have learned so much from my children and am so thankful to be their mother. That doesn't mean I like Mother's Day, whew, thank heavens that's over for another year. As I was sitting there Wed. evening sewing with those wonderful women, with those young women around us, I couldn't help but feel the spirits of our ancestors who didn't have fancy sewing machines, but got together in love to sew in the humblest of circumstances. I am in awe of those who gave up their lives to walk across the plains to gain religious freedom, they were the best example to me that "We Can Do Hard Things."

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

My First Hate E-Mail


Yesterday as I was checking my e-mails I read one I had received on Sunday. The hate message was mainly about my blog I had written about my shopping trip with my Mom for Mother's Day. She thought I was an "ungrateful" daughter who lacks compassion and am totally insensitive and cruel while talking about her fashion. Obviously this person doesn't know me, or the struggles I've been going through lately. She even questioned my testimony and membership in the church. She's judging me about me joking about my Mom? Wow, what can I say? I blog for myself only. I used to write in a journal everyday but blogging was way easier for me. I am who I am and don't pretend to do or be anything than who I am. I LOVE my parents and family. I wouldn't be anything if they hadn't sacrificed everything for me. My children and grandchildren make me go on in a life that sometimes is so difficult I pray to go home with Kamber. I will be more careful while writing because I was also told I complain about everything. I wish my life was all rainbows, butterflies and unicorns but it is NOT. I did want to thank my wonderful children for all the love they gave me on Sunday. I know I don't deserve the gifts, but they are really appreciated. After we ate I put the hoses in the pool and let the kids play as it was filling up. Sorry to all those parents who's kids got wet in their church clothes. I am sorry if I offend sometimes as I write about my life battles. As I was talking to my Mom and apologising if I had offended her she said, "you are darling, I love you, and keep walking across the plains like our pioneers did, you can do it."

Thursday, May 10, 2012

My Wish for Mother's Day

My sister and I decided to take my Mom shopping for Mother's Day. She needed to get a couple of baby shower gifts and we wanted to get her something new to wear. We only had a couple of hours because my Mom needed to get to her last piano lesson of the season, so we planned to meet at Kohl's and then on to Macy's and Dillard's. We got the baby gifts and then went in to Macy's to find something for an 82 year-old that is stuck in the 70's or 80's as far as fashion goes. As we wandered from rack to rack all I heard was, "no, that's ugly, that's too short, there isn't anything here, let's go." My sister and I finally just started shopping for ourselves looking at clothes we would like. Then it was off to Dillard's. The same thing happened except this time we did get her to try on a few skirts. Of course she didn't like any of them but she did end up buying one that she will probably end up making me take back. As we were strolling through the store I finally said, "you know Mom, pretty soon we will be dressing you anyway, and then we can put whatever we want on you." I hope I didn't hurt her feelings, we were just kidding, but the longer the day went on, the sadder I became. We really don't know how much time we have with our Mom, or Dad or even our children and grandchildren. We don't know how much time we ourselves have left on earth. I am not a big fan of this holiday on Sunday. It seems to be another stressful day that I clean my house and have everyone over for dinner and desert. I have my little list of all the things I want Rich to do for me: fill up my pool, install an ice maker, fix the misters and coolers for the animals so they don't die in the heat. I don't know how many of those things he will get done, and I hope my kids do small acts of service for me instead of spend any money, that is my wish for Mother's Day.

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Sharing My Testimony

Last week Rich broke a tooth while eating a frozen Snickers ice cream bar. After being told by the dentist there wasn't anything she could do, he went to an oral surgeon in our ward. This morning he had surgery, pulling the tooth that broke in half and then putting two pins in, one in the pulled tooth and the other in a place where he hasn't had a tooth since childhood. This doctor is a very special person and we pray that he will be blessed for his generostiy and kindness towards Rich.  Next week our stake is going to be divided. It is a good thing but kind of sad to be separated from some very good friends and maybe some family members. Last night they had a meeting with the stake president and all the high councilors and their spouses. I was doing okay with my anxiety until the president informed us that we were going to go around the room and bear our testimonies. What? That is such a hard thing for me to do and the stress makes me feel like I'm having a heart attack or stroke, maybe even pass out. The spirit was strong and as they came to me all I could think about was the hard trials we have had lately. The drowning of our sweet Kamber, my hip operation, financial struggles due to the economy and my constant issues related to health. My understanding that we have to suffer to be worthy of the ultimate sacrifice given to us by the Savior. Anyway, I know we are blessed when we share our testimonies with others. My Dad used to tell me of the scripture D&C 62:3 that says "Nevertheless, ye are blessed, for the testimony which ye have borne is recorded in heaven for the angels to look upon; and they rejoice over you, and your sins are forgiven you." Heaven knows I have lots of sins that need to be forgiven, hopefully I will be worthy of those blessings.

Monday, May 7, 2012

I'm Not Diabetic or Insane Yet

I've pulled myself out of the toilet again and trying to be somewhat productive today.  Rich came home on Friday night and worked like a dog around the house trying to get the pool ready for the repairs to be done so we can fill it back up. I hate having a big blue hole in the backyard, I like the blue water better. Yesterday in Relief Society we talked about the importance of water. Our bodies are mostly made of water and while living in the desert we all know what happens with the lack of water. I think the symbolism was about drinking from the well of living water, the Savior. Sometimes it's easier for me to look at all my problems and disappointments, instead of my blessings and accomplishments. I've worked really hard to lose 20 pounds but I'm stuck there. I seem to do better when it's cooler weather and I'm happier in the fall and winter. Anyway, I got my blood test results and they were so good. I went from being pre-diabetic to dropping four whole points. Just losing that little bit of weight has brought my blood sugar down. I was so excited because one of my biggest fears is becoming diabetic, the other one is to be insane and lose all my marbles. I don't know about that one yet. Last night we got to chat with Spencer on the phone from Boston. We could see the kids and listen to them play. My kids are really important to me and when I don't get to see and talk to them it puts me in the toilet. With my favorite holiday coming up this Sunday, you know it, Mother's Day I was happy when they told us they will be adding another little Larsen baby to the herd. They still haven't figured it out how to NOT have a baby during football season, maybe Rich needs to have a little talk with them. Anyway, the puppies are getting really fat, Bella is such a good Momma it will be fun when their eyes open and they start walking around. I would go crazy sitting in a box all day having six mouths sucking me dry, but she has done a great job. Oh the joys of being a Mother!

Friday, May 4, 2012

"Lower Than A Snakes Belly?"

This morning when I got up I felt pretty good . Even though it was 6:00 a.m. I was going to make this a great day and get lots of stuff done. Rich went to the Eagar yesterday to help my Dad get the ground ready to plant his garden, so I had the bed all to myself. I started laundry, did dishes, fed the dogs and went out to feed the chickens, rabbits and turtles. As I was wandering around outside by myself I had a really sad feeling come over me. In my mind I thought, "this just isn't fun anymore." Maybe it's the lack of sleep from helping Bella deliver her brood, but my mood has gone "lower than a snakes belly." My great-aunt Bernie used to ask me why I was sad and she would always say that to me. Mindi had a chiropractic appointment so I decided to go with her and then run a couple of errands. When Rich goes out of town it is customary for me to go shopping. Usually I go clothes shopping, but since we have been so tired we only hit Hobby Lobby and Sprouts. As we walked up and down the aisles looking at all the cute spring and summer stuff I found a purple pin wheel to put on Kamber's grave on Memorial Day. I look around my house and there are so many things to do I don't know where to start. I keep hearing the conference talks in my mind one of which said, "life wasn't meant to be easy or fair." Boy how I believe that. I wish I had the energy to clean, sew or exercise but instead I think I will just go watch Judge Judy, then maybe that will cheer me up seeing that there are other people that have more problems than me.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Six Black Puppies Born Last Night





Yesterday was a busy day. We had so many errands to run but Trulie was still sick. A week of antibiotics hadn't really helped her, so Mindi being sleep deprived and worried, called the doctor to see if an appointment was available. It was 11:00 a.m. and they had one at 11:20 but out at the Queen Creek office about ten miles away, so off we went. A quick look in the ears and just what we thought, the medicine hadn't really helped, so we left with a shot and another prescription for medicine and breathing treatments. Oh how glad I'm done taking care of sick kids. Anyway, we were gone the rest of the day running around and noticed that Bella was acting a little strange. As I went to bed I had a feeling it was time for her to get those babies out. At 1:30 a.m. Mindi came in my room, woke me up from a dead sleep and wanted my heating pad. Bella had given birth, in the laundry room and it was cold. So I threw my nightgown on and went to help. By 3:00 a.m. she had four puppies and by 5:45 I finally went to bed after number six was born. Poor Bella looks so tired this morning, Trulie was up with us most of the night delivering puppies, and Mindi and I are going to be in desperate need of a long nap this afternoon. We have no idea who the puppies sperm donor is, but we would sure like to find out. All the puppies are black with little white markings three boys, three girls. Every time I watch an animal give birth I'm amazed at the instincts these mothers have to take care of their babies. Bella is so sweet with them and feeding them and licking them already. Now if we can just find good homes for them and for sure Bella is going to the "spay and neuter" clinic when her babies are gone, Happy Mother's Day to Bella, and now I'm a grandma to six black puppies.