Thanksgiving

What a wonderful day we had. It started out watching Jen, Candi, Mindi, Tristyn, and many other friends running the Turkey Trot. It seemed weird to actually be out and about on Thanksgiving morning. We usually have everyone over for Thanksgiving dinner, so I'm always really stressed out. This year was the year of the in-laws so all of the other children and my siblings were with their spouses families. We had a really small gathering. We had my Mom and Dad, my mother's only brother Uncle Carl and his wife Sue, and Mindi and Dave and their 4 kids. We missed them all, but we knew they were having a good time with the other family. Spencer called in the evening and they had a few of the rookie players and their wives over for dinner. We have had a hard last couple of months but hopefully we are going to be able to "Press Forward In Faith." It is starting to sink in that Kamber will not be with us physically, but I think that as a family we can always feel her spirit around cheering us on. We are on to our next holiday, Christmas. It will be here before we know it, and then on to 2009.

Gratitude for Adversity?

Yesterday, Rich was asked to speak in church on "gratitude for adversity." I think he did a great job and I hope it touched others like it touched me. Even though he gave a good talk and what he said was encouraging, I found myself having the same emotion, disbelief, anger, sadness and pain as I did the week of July25-August 1st and since. As we sat in the kitchen and talked about it and cried, I realized that this is an experience that is going to take years and maybe a lifetime to come to grips with. This isn't going away, it may get a little bit easier, but it will never go away. This is the first Thangsgiving without Kamber. Then comes Christmas, Valentines Day and so forth.... I have been trying to read the Conference talks everyday. The one I was reading this morning was by Elder Wirthlin; at the end of his he says "I know why there must be opposition in all things. Adversity, if handled correctly, can be a blessing in our lives. We can learn to love it." I hope some day I will learn to love it, but right now I can't.

Opposition

I have just had a couple of thoughts this week. WE have been so excited for Spencer during the week. He has had numerous interviews and newspaper articles written about him. We have enjoyed reading them and have felt the support of family and friends. Anyway, yesterday it came out that he was fined $5,000 for a leg whip, ( what the he-- is that?) At first I was angry because he wasn't penalized for the play, but then I realized that there isn't anything I can do about it so that is that. As a mother we try to take on our children's problems. We try to take away their pain, their dissapointments, their trials. I know when I was in labor with Candi, my Mom came to the hospital and came in the room when I was in severe pain. She was begging the nurses to help me. I finally had to tell them to get her out because it was upsetting me that she was seeing me in pain. I have a good friend that I talk to every month. I was telling him about my problems with my children and he said, "Teri, you have to let your children walk their own pathway. Whatever that may be, this is their life and they have their agency to do what they want." So here I am trying to stay out as much as possible and be a support when I can. All I can say about life is, "It is what it is, and it is painful."

What a Weekend!!

What an exciting weekend we had. Spencer had a great game against Atlanta and we are so happy for him. He started on both sides of the ball, which hasn't ever been done in Denver and only four times in the history of the NFL. He told me when he was a little boy he wanted to play in the NFL but I really never thought that would happen. I know we aren't suppose to be proud of our kids, but it is really hard to look at our kids and not feel proud.
We had my Mom and Dad over to watch the game and have dinner and also celebrate Mom's 79th birthday. It's always fun to get together with extended family. After everyone left Rich told me that the Bishop has asked him to speak on gratitude for our adversity. Since he told me about his talk, my mind has been racked with experiences of adversity we have had in our family. I know that while I'm going through a particular trial, I'm not thankful for the trial, but after it has passed, I'm always thankful that I was strong enough to get through it. We came to earth for the experience, and at times I'm sure I didn't say I would do what has been asked of me, but I must have or I wouldn't be here. I read this little book "The Uses of Adversity" by Carlfred Broderick. In it he says "I used to think we were safe from grief and pain here because of our faith. I know now that is not true, but we are safe in his love. We are protected in the most ultimate sense of all---we have a safe home forever."

Pomegranate Harvest

The first week of November is considered pomegranate week. This is where we are obsessed with finding, picking and juicing pomegrates. I don't know how I came to be the keeper of the pomegranates, but I am. Mindi and I start a few weeks early by driving the streets of Gilbert leaving notes at people's houses that have a nice tree full of the fruit. Then we call my good friend Sandy Nichols and make sure that we are going to be able to come pick her two trees. Anyway, after several days of picking we take on the task of juicing them. This is a fun time ( yeah, really fun.) We juice them with a citrus juicer on a Bosch and then my Dad sqeezes all the juice out with a paint strainer. My sister Mell, my sister-in-law Julie and my Mom and Dad were there to help, Mindi had to do most of the heavy lifting because she is the youngest and strongest. My niece Aubry also came down and helped. By the end of the day we are wondering why we do this every year. My Aunt Tenna Heap was the one that got us started so we always think of her during this time. This year while I was going through all the stress of this process I kept thinking about the "Law of the Harvest." This Law simply means that you don't get something for nothing in life. I looked this up in the scriptures in Gal. 6:7 it says, "Be not deceived; God is not mocked; for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap." It made me reflect on my life and ask myself,"What am I sowing?" What will I reap?" These last few months as we have had "peaks and valleys" and tried to make sense of why Kamber was taken from us; I have tried to understand adversity better. I know that every person on this earth is here for the same purpose, to gain a body and be tested. I'm trying to be less judgmental and critical of those closest to me. I realize that I have a long way to go. "By their "fruits ye shall know them." (3 Nephi 14:20)

The Light

I know the weather doesn't feel like fall, but we are officially out of October and in to November. I was putting all of my witches and skeletons away this morning and bringing out all the fall leaves, scarecrows and pilgrims. I felt a deep feeling of gratitude. I'm not very good at showing and telling my family of my deep appreciation for all they do for me, but I certainly feel it. I am reading a book called "Closer to the Light." It is about a pediatrician who had some amazing experiences with sick children who had near death experiences. At times the book talks about how scientists try to explain away the things these children see. They think that the brain makes them believe what they saw and that it didn't actually happen the way they remembered it. Sometimes they say they saw Jesus while others say they saw a Grandma or Grandpa who had passed away earlier. Almost all of them say they see a "Light." We believe the "light" to represent the Savior. When Kamber passed away I was in shock. I kept pounding on the wall down my hall and saying, "Why us?" It didn't make any sense to me. Then all of a sudden I got this thought, "Why not us?" We see things in the newspaper and on t.v. all the time about tragic things that happen and you never really think it will happen to your family. When it does, you feel really unprepared to survive what is being asked of you. I hope at some point in our lives we will be able to look back and see how much we grew spiritually and how much stronger we became; but right now it seems to be a pretty high price to pay.