It's Beginning To Look Like Christmas

It's beginning to look and feel like Christmas around here. The temps are down in the sixties with a winter storm moving through. I've had my tree up for a week now but haven't put a single ornament on it. It seems like a mood thing for me and I'm trying to get "in the mood." When I was a kid it seemed like forever between Christmas and my birthday, now it seems like we just put all the decorations away and here we go again. There were a couple of boxes that never even made it out of my "stack all" room. My doctor called last week to say all the blood tests were normal. That means I'm not rejecting the metal part of the hip. That's good news, but now I need to find something else to solve my problem. I'm trying to make some lifestyle changes that are really hard for me to do. I know that I have medicated myself with the finer things in life like chocolate, pizza, cheeseburgers, soda and many other unhealthy things. I was told as a young child that my Dad would rather bury me than have me in a bar or drink alcohol. That's what you get when your grandparents were alcoholics. So even though I would never drink alcohol or take drugs I will kill myself with food. So I'm joining a few other family members who are having our own "Biggest Loser" contest and hopefully it will help with my pain. I have noticed that since I've been trying to change some of my eating I'm way more emotional. This is really hard but necessary for my health so I must "gird up my loins, fresh courage take." I think I can do hard things but no comfort food is torture. Hopefully some day I will feel good again and be able to be out of pain and hopefully do things I haven't done in a very long time.