Conference, Easter and Birthdays

I always love it when we have conference. It was eight hours of sitting in my pajamas watching t.v. eating a bowl of popcorn. Okay, I was just kidding about the popcorn. Even though I love conference I always feel a sort of sadness or depression when it's over. I can't really put my finger on why, but it happens every six months when we hear all that is expected of us as members of the church. This year was different because it was also Easter Sunday. I didn't have to shop all week trying to find my "Easter bonnet with all the frills upon it." I felt like they talked a lot about Mothers and how we are suppose to be so nurturing, and good examples to our children. There again, I fall very short of that quality. So, I guess that is my answer for the after conference "in the toilet syndrome" I always experience. Brookies's birthday was on Sat. and Ethan's is on Thurs. so because we were getting together for Easter we decided to celebrate both of their special days. Brookie has played an extremely important role in our family, at least she has for me. She was only three months old when Kamber passed away and I remember how I would look at her and thank Heavenly Father that we had her to make us have a reason to get up every morning. Ethan is also a very special person because he is my oldest son after two daughters. He has been a challenge to deal with, but I know he has a "heart of pure gold." As a Mother I have always tried to help my kids realize that the behavior they have at this moment might come back to bite them on their butts later on, but still they have their choice to do what they want. I have a good counselor that always tells me that my children have to "walk their own pathway, whatever that is." It has always been so hard for me to shut my mouth and let them make mistakes. Rich says my favorite word is "NO", and he is probably right. So I have decided to just keep my opinions to myself from now on and try to concentrate on my own personal growth. Maybe it will save me a bunch of grief, at least I hope so. I have also decided to just have one blog from now on. At the time I started my Grandma's Angel Blog I thought maybe others would want to share their grief and heartache, but it has been too hard to express myself in one blog let alone two. I also realized that I have no expertise or training to be able to help anyone with their journey through the trials they have been asked to go through. I know that we are all struggling through something and if we aren't right now we will be at some point in our lives. I have tried to be honest with my feelings and opinions and at times that has come back and used against me and out of context. I have also been told that at times I maybe give too much information about myself. I hope everyone knows that anything I say is strictly my opinion and that I'm as broken and flawed as everyone else, probably more. I loved it at the very start of conference when President Monson said, "To those of you who are struggling with challenges, disappointments problems and loses, WE love you and pray for you." I know he was talking to me. The tears I shed were because of the spirit I felt.