"Variable Clouds, with a Promise of Sunshine?"

For the last couple of years Mindi and I have been picking up beads and misc. jewelry making supplies but never really had the time to sit down and create a masterpiece. Well, we finally just stayed home a couple of days this week and strung our beads. It is kind of like quilting because you have to decide what color of beads you are going to use and then start putting them all together in a pattern. It was also relaxing and very low stress, something I have needed this week. I had gone into such a deep hole earlier in the week that I felt I needed to get back to the basics. Reading scriptures, saying prayers, trying to exercise and being better at showing gratitude. I went into my sewing room and grabbed a book to read. I didn't have my glasses on but I took the pretty light blue one on the middle shelf. It is called, "Variable Clouds, Occasional Rain, with a Promise of Sunshine." It is an easy reading little book published in 1986 by Paul H. Dunn. The second chapter talks about the morning. He says that there was a time in his life that he wasn't sure if he would live to see the sun come up again. The nights before the dawn are really long. Then he goes on to say that sometimes we may feel that we are the only ones who have these kinds of nights, but we aren't. "Who can live in this challenging world and not have a few bumps and doubts along the way? Waking up in the middle of the night and worrying about one thing or another is part of being human." I couldn't believe that out of all the books and reading material I have in my house I would pick this one up especially at this time. It seems like since Kamber passed away I have a really hard time finding any kind of joy in my life. Even though I still have a great husband, a nice house, four children and their spouses and twelve, soon to be fifteen grandchildren, this one experience has clouded my vision. It has sent me in to a place I never knew existed. I remember talking with Elder Ballard in October and him saying that we need to just forget about Kamber. What? How do we forget about her. I think he was more concerned about us dwelling on her death and not our eternal salvation. He said, "she has it made, it is you that needs to work really hard to be worthy to be with her again." At times I do wonder if I can make it through another day. I know others are going through horrible trials, devastating illnesses and heartbreaking tragedies. I just need to remember that, "as surely as the sun sets, it rises again... and again.. and again, and with each new dawn comes a new start, a clean slate, and a chance for a new beginning. Thank goodness for a new day and an opportunity to forget yesterday. Every new day brings a fresh start, and every new morning brings new hope." That is what I am striving for HOPE!