I Will Never Be the Same Person

The treat table

Me with the "Birthday Boy"

This weekend has gone by so fast. Between listening to Conference and celebrating Troy's fifth birthday it's been crazy. I love listening to the talks and music of conference. Sometimes I felt the tears run down my face as something would touch my spirit. I have also noticed that after conference is over I go into a kind of dark hole. It may just be because there is so much good information given that I'm trying hard to process it, or maybe that I have so much work to do that I feel overwhelmed. Life has been really hard for me for a very long time and it is easy to feel like giving up. I know that I've been blessed beyond what I deserve, but I still have some things that bother me and just won't go away. I'm not the same person I was three years ago when Kamber passed away. I have also struggled for the last year trying to get this new hip to work and be pain free. I feel like that is a losing battle also. We were reminded in some of the messages today that this mortal life is meant to be hard. We have to go through some really crappy stuff to prove to our Heavenly Father that we will be faithful and live the commandments. The message that I heard loud and clear today was that we MUST endure to the end, whatever that is. I also need to do a better job at forgiving others. I try to blame it on my Dad or the Greer's for being a grudge holder, but whoever is at fault, I need to do better. Mindi did such a good job making Troy's birthday fun. She did a Super Mario Brothers themed party. Her creative juices just flow and everything has to be perfect. She molded chocolates to look like mustaches and yellow stars. She then dipped little donut holes in green colored chocolate and put little white dots on them to look like toadstools. Between the red gum balls, marshmallows and pretzels the kids were pretty much "high" on sugar when they went home. I'm so glad those days are over for me, now I can just enjoy the grand kids birthdays without doing any of the work.

Max loving his green cupcake!

Holding "Miss Trulie"