"Confused and Discouraged"

When Rich and Lennie got home from their missions they would use the saying "confused and discouraged" when talking about something going on in their lives. I never really got it, but the last couple of days I have felt this way. I knew the news wouldn't be good yesterday at the doctor but today I'm feeling overwhelmed.
After looking at the x-ray of my poor little arthritic hip he gave me three options. Get a cane and try some pain relievers, get a cortisone shot in the joint, or have surgery, meaning a hip replacement. After having a little cry fest and with some encouragement from my parents I went ahead and scheduled my surgery. Now today I'm trying to process all the information and feelings I'm experiencing. I don't like any of these options.
The idea of being out of pain and not so crippled really appeals to me, but I am lacking faith to walk into the fire and out the other side. I'm sure most of this is normal but because of my anxiety disorder it makes it difficult. To everyone else it seems like such a "no brainer" but when it comes to making a big decision that will change my life it is hard.
I didn't sleep hardly at all last night. I kept thinking about how hard it was the week between Kamber's passing and the funeral. I remember how out of control my emotions were and how everything I did seemed SO HARD for me. I thought back about one special day when as a family we went to dress her, I didn't know if I could handle the stress but decided to go. I will never forget the spirit I felt there that day. I remember during that week anytime I knew I might go "out of control" I would start saying the words in the song "Come, Come Ye Saints," "Gird up your loins; fresh courage take, Our God will never us forsake; And so we'll have this tale to tell- All is well! All is well!" Here we go again talking about courage, something I'm lacking big time.
Hopefully the sun will come up tomorrow and I will find peace in my decision to move forward, thanks to everyone who cares.