It seems like every summer around this time I get so down in the dumps I might as well dig a hole and crawl in it. If my hip didn't hurt so bad I would probably try it. Rich grew up in Utah and went to Canada on his mission so he HATES the cold. The first summer he was here he got a huge rash on his legs, Ethan calls it "swamp #%*." I'm trying to be better about my foul language. Ha Ha. Rich says the heat doesn't bother him, but I think it is because he loves to suffer. Anyway, for the last month I have been mostly housebound. It has hurt to sit, stand, walk, and even get comfortable lying down. I see a surgeon tomorrow but I don't think I am going to like what he is going to tell me, or be willing to do the treatment and take the risk. However, I may be forced to do just that.
I think the hardest thing about being in pain and not being able to enjoy life is that I begin to resent everyone else who goes about their lives and could give a rat's behind about me. (This is only in my "nut case" brain). They ask me how I'm feeling, but seriously what can anyone really do to help? They are all too busy with their own lives and problems. Then I get mad at myself because I hate being dependent on others for my welfare. This is something I need inspiration for and to figure out on my own with the help of the medical professionals.
I think it's time for me to start preparing to be a Snowbird. I told Spencer when he was here that I may need to come up to Colorado in the summer and live here in the winter. The problem is getting rid of the petting zoo in my back yard. Maybe by next year all the animals will have either died or been eaten by the dogs. I love my animals for about eight months out of the year. The other four months are just plain brutal.
I think I might be having withdrawal symptoms. I haven't been in the mall, to Kohls, JoAnns, Hobby Lobby, I've even had to give up the grocery store. What kind of life is it if you can't go shopping and spend money? If it was up to Rich he would like to keep me home and out of the stores, it's way cheaper.
I do have some wonderful friends. I appreciate those who called to let me know they were thinking about us during last week. I also received a beautiful card from a dear friend. Thank you for that! We are always glad when the 25th is over, and we can get our minds back on the reality of life. There are no guarantees, we have learned that. I remember when I would complain about how my life was so crappy, my brother Len used to always say, "Teri life isn't fair, I spit on fair." Then he would tell me all the things I should be thankful for. I never really knew what that meant "spitting on fair", but he said he learned it in law school.
I'm sure I will survive another summer, I've lived here fifty-seven years and it hasn't killed me yet. We only have a few more months and it will be cool again.
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