"You Can Heal Your Life"

I have been so disappointed at the slow rate of my recovery from this surgery that I decided to finally call my home teacher and ask for some help. He is a physical therapist and told me that after my staples came out to call him. I finally got up enough nerve and he was so kind to get me in yesterday. He did some stretching exercises with me and then had me practice walking. Then I got to go into the pool. The water was so warm and it felt so good to be moving and walking. That is one thing I have really missed since my surgery, the long hot soaks in the bath to relieve the pain. I went back today for some more (torture), I mean therapy. He did some more stretching and walking. I was in an area with exercise equipment and computers. The people just kept coming in. I guess there are lots of people who are struggling with some sort of problem. Most of them are way older than me, but I kind of got a glimpse of what life may end up being if I don't make some changes. At times I have been so caught up in the dark part of my mind that I didn't realize just how many people are suffering with their own personal hell. A lot of recovery is having faith that I will actually be able to walk again. When I use my walker or a cane I can do pretty good, but when I don't have that security I go right back to my limping. My new strong hip should be able to do anything but my brain still thinks I'm crippled. How can I reprogram my thoughts to trust in my ability to walk? I'm reading a book called "You Can Heal Your Life." A lot of it is about saying affirmations to change your thought patterns. Boy do I have a long way to go on that one. She said something really interesting, that by the time we are three years old our thoughts about our self are already formed. That's pretty scary to think that at that young age we have already decided what we think about ourselves. No wonder I'm so messed up. Anyway, hopefully by next week I will be able to "lose the walker" but I guess I will be healed when my body thinks I'm ready. I will just have to be grateful for any progress I make, I have no other choice at this time.