"Control My Own Destiny"

I have been watching a lot of Sportscenter the last week trying to figure out how the Denver Broncos could make it into the playoffs after losing eight of their last ten games. As I listened to the commentators they would always say "they control their own destiny," while describing a certain team. After the horrible game they played yesterday against a 3-13 team and got their butts kicked, I was so irritated when I went to bed I wondered what will it take for Spencer to play on a winning team? I woke up at 3:30 a.m. and couldn't go back to sleep. I was thinking about all the people and things in my life that are irritating me right now. I really wanted to start the new year off on a good note. They even released me from Primary and put me on the Activities Committee, but after my first Sunday in January I was just plain annoyed. After stewing about my problems until 6:30 a.m. I finally fell back to sleep. When I woke up I still wasn't in the best mood. I got up and did my chores, feeding animals, making my bed and starting laundry, but I still couldn't shake the bad mood I found myself in. Candi came over and we went for a walk around the block with Mindi and all the kids and the words, "control your own destiny," kept coming into my head. I guess that is what I need to be working on. I need to get control of my own thoughts and actions and stop worrying about those around me who have done things that have just down right "pissed me off," (like the girl who gave me a counterfeit $20.) I have such a hard time forgiving those who have hurt me. I really thought that as I got older I would become more docile and passive like little old grannies need to be, but that hasn't happened. I do have so many blessings I feel ashamed to even talk about my sadness. Yesterday in Relief Society the teacher talked about how we need to make it a priority this year to learn about God. To understand that we are literally daughters of our Heavenly Father and that he knows each one of us by name and he loves us. Now that should cheer me up, just knowing that I have someone in Heaven who loves me is special. Maybe one of my resolutions should be to control my own destiny and not let others affect the person I know I could become.