"I Can Do Hard Things, Again"

I just got in from feeding the herd and wow what a gorgeous evening. There was a cool breeze blowing in my face and the air just smells so clean. We are trying to get back to normal after our horrendous week with Mindi in the hospital and me hobbling around on crutches. I have often wondered in times of crisis how people do it without a supportive family and the members of the church. We have been so blessed to have that safety net to fall into when going through hard trials. On Sunday in Relief Society we were talking about things that we did, that at the time seemed really hard but we were glad afterwards we had done them. As the sisters were sharing their experiences my mind kept going back to one of those times when I didn't think I could do something and I was so glad I did it. When Kamber was taken to the hospital Mindi and I went to their house and stayed with the little girls while Ethan, Jenn, Rich, Len and Julie and other friends went to comfort them. I couldn't make myself go, that I regret. Everyone that knows me understands that with my anxiety it is really hard to step out into the dark and do something not in my comfort zone... driving, flying, cruises, or anywhere I feel confined and not have an escape route. Anyway, the day we were to go dress her for burial was so hard. Ethan had begged me to come and I wanted so bad to go, but didn't know if I could handle the stress. I kept repeating in my mind the verse from Come, Come Ye Saints, where it says, "Gird up your loins, fresh courage take," and so off I went to the mortuary. I have to say that the experience of preparing that special angel for burial is by far the most sacred and spiritual experience I have had in my sixty years. To see all those family members there to support, love, dress and paint finger and toenails, will forever be etched into my mind. As I held her and rubbed her feet, I felt an overwhelming love for her and my testimony that the Savior lives and he knows me, poor Teri, who struggles everyday with imperfections and struggles, but I know he loves me even though I'm not perfect. Tomorrow will be another hard day for me as I go get an MRI on my knee to see what kind of treatment might help me so I can walk without help. This is another opportunity for me to gird up my loins and do something I wished I didn't need to do, but I can prove again that "I Can Do Hard Things," I think.