Grandparents Day With Kylie

On Monday afternoon I got a call from Jenn's phone. When I answered it I heard a sweet little voice that said, "Grandma, this is Kylie can you come to my school tomorrow for Grandparents Day?" I was trying to think of what I was doing on Tuesday and then I realized that whatever I was going to do wasn't as important as going to see Kylie. It isn't a "news flash" that I have social anxieties. I hate going in to situations where I don't know how many people are going to be there or what we will be doing. I also worry about how I will compare to others. I got a reminder call that evening making sure I would be able to attend, to eat lunch in the cafeteria with her and then over to the library for the book fair. I worried all night about getting up, doing the chores and being out to Queen Creek by 11:00 a.m., I also worried about what to wear and if I could handle the extreme heat we've been having. Worrying has been passed down to me in my DNA from my dear Mother, and I HATE it. Well, everything went so good. Jenn and I went to McDonald's to get some lunch then off to the school we went. I knew the secretary and they were really friendly. I looked around and there were all kinds of grandparents, short and pudgy, tall and thin, old and not so old, grey hair and dyed like mine. I had worried for nothing, just like always. I even ran into a friend who had been there all morning because she had so many grand kids at that school. As we were leaving I told Jenn how happy I was that was over. She said, "Yeah but you still have fifteen more grand kids you will have to do this for." Now that is overwhelming!

Will It Ever Cool Off?

This August has been the hottest I can ever remember. We have had a heat advisory for the last week or so and the highs have been over 110 degrees and the lows barely under 90. Is this where hell is going to be? I think so. I get so cranky when it's hot like this, I even irritate myself. Rich says "I worry too much about the temperature, anything over 105 just doesn't matter." He grew up in Utah and went to Canada on his mission so he HATES the cold. He whines like a little girl when it gets cold, but he says he likes the heat. How can anyone normal truly like this depressing heat? Last Sat. we celebrated Dallas' fourth birthday. We went to Chuckee Cheese so the grand kids could play all the games. It was fun to sit and visit but that place would give anyone anxiety with all the people, the noise and blinking lights. I'm still paying for my EXTREME shopping trip last week. It was so fun to be out and about but when it's this hot I just stay inside in my nightgown anyway. This week Spencer will be here with his team to play the Cardinals. We have gone back and forth whether we should spend the time and money to drive clear out to Glendale to watch the game he probably won't play much. Three years ago he was a rookie and got to play a lot, but being a fourth year player and a starter he might not play. Last year he was injured when they played here, but it's still fun to see him on the field. I may try and get on the plane with him going back to Denver, maybe it's cooler up there, ha ha.

"Ultimate Shopping When Its 113?"

Today Mindi and I went out and did some "ulitmate shopping." It's been a long time since we spent five hours at the mall, so it was lots of fun. When we got in the car to come home the temp. said 113 degrees. I said, "are we crazy out shopping in this heat?" Mindi answered with, "I wasn't going to stay in my house one more day." I love being a shut in, ha, ha, but occasionally it's fun to roam the mall. Tomorrow is Dally's fourth birthday so we got some fun stuff for him. Mindi is tired of wearing maternity clothes so we tried to find some new clothes for her. Since this is her last baby she's giving all her maternity clothes away. Dillards is having an extra 40% off all their clearance prices, and Macy's is having a sale that if you donate $5 to the March of Dimes you get 25% off your purchases. As we were standing in line at Macy's trying to decide if we wanted to donate I decided that because I have sixteen healthy grand kids $5 is nothing to contribute to this charity. Spencer and Annie gave me a gift card for Christmas for all the stores in the mall, so I'm still chipping away at that. It makes it so much more fun to shop when it doesn't cost me anything. I have so much to do before I host my niece Alyssa's bridal shower two weeks from tomorrow. I don't know why I volunteer because it makes me crazy trying to get everything done. It seems like everywhere I look there is a project that needs to be finished. I think when the shower is over I'm going to take a trip. I don't care where I go, but I'm going somewhere far far away. Hopefully where it's cooler than 113 degrees. Now I'm going to go take some pain killers and pack myself in ice, I know I will be paying for this shopping trip later today.

"Why Don't You Go Get A Pedicure?"

Last night I went to bed really irritated. It doesn't take much to tick me off lately but as I fell asleep I was not happy. Last week I asked a family member to cut my toenails and maybe slop some polish on them, they were really looking bad. The response I got was, "why don't you just go get a pedicure?" Huh! So yesterday I asked a different family member to trim up just the toes on my left foot, the ones I can't reach because my hip doesn't bend, okay and maybe my jelly rolls get in the way. Anyway, the response I got was, "why don't you try and get in shape so you can cut your own toenails?" That was it, I won't ask again. So this morning as I got into Mindi's house I saw little Trulie sitting in her vibrating chair with music playing sound asleep and I thought, "what I would give to be so peaceful, content and pure as that little baby." Life is so easy for her, I want someone to love me and care for me like we do this precious child. Then reality set in and I thought of all the people who I love and I think love me. I know my parents love me as they have been my advocates all my life, always letting me know they are on my side and will help whenever needed. I think my husband and kids have a glimmer of love for me, sometimes it's a little bumpy but we have survived all these years. I have brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles, cousins galore, that I love dearly. I hope they love me too. After I had my little love fest in my mind the phone rang. It was Candi asking if I needed anything at the beauty supply or bread store. I asked again, "is there any way you can polish my toes, they look so bad?" She said she was in a hurry to get home but had time to come in fast and do that for me. What a kind daughter, she didn't even give me any crap about walking around barefoot in the slew or anything, she just did a kind act of service. I knew helping her get through cosmetology school would pay off some day. Thanks for the kindness, by the way, I need my hair done this week too can you fit me in?

I Need A Break From The Heat!

I've been crazy busy this week trying to get a quilt tied for Trace and start getting my house ready for the bridal shower in three weeks. I have wondered a lot this week why I would volunteer to have a party here because it really makes me more of a nut than I am normally. I got up early and put away everything and then fed the dogs before my cleaning girl came. She asked me how I did without her last week and we decided that until after the shower she will come every week. Hopefully that will take some of the pressure off of me. After I got my house cleaned Mindi and I headed to the grocery store. It's always a good feeling to get out of there, a few years ago I had such bad anxiety I couldn't even go to the store, so I'm thankful to be a little better. Rich and I then had to go help make 96 sausage and egg burritos for the young men tomorrow at an early morning Priesthood meeting. Rich decided to go on to the Temple and when he gets home he has to work on a talk he has to give tomorrow morning. Sometimes I wonder if I am able to sacrifice and serve. Rich seems to do better when he's under lots of stress and I HATE to be stressed out. I just went out to do my night time chores. I thought that because it was almost dark it would be cooler. As I worked the sweat just poured off my forehead and under my hair. It is still 103 degrees and I don't know how much more I can take of this hellish weather, then when I look at the forecast it's going to be 112 next week. We truly do live in hell, and are in desperate need of some rain. I know I'm being punished for something. Anyway, tomorrow is another day and who knows, maybe I will wake up to a nice cool morning.

"It Just Isn't That Bad"

This morning I woke up at 4:00 a.m. with a bad headache. Rich was getting his workout clothes on and heading to the gym. I took some pain relief pills, grabbed an ice pack and went back to bed. I need more than five hours of sleep to be productive. I had the whole bed to myself so I turned on the t.v. to see what uplifting news they were reporting. When the weather report came on they said it was already 92 degrees. Can that be right, at four in the morning? I was so sad I turned it off and went back to sleep. When I got up I decided to get out early and feed the animals for my own health. The dogs were already panting at the door so I turned the cooler on for them and when I got in the kitchen Rich was leaving for work. I had sweat pouring down my face, in my eyes and as I was bearing my testimony to him about how hot is was and I want to move SOMEWHERE else he said, "it just isn't that bad." Are you kidding me right now? So I've spent the rest of the day inside doing laundry, ironing ten of Rich's work shirts and decided to get started on a quilt for Trace. A few months ago when Mindi and Dave were getting ready for their baby we had to move Tristyn down to my house and rework the sleeping areas for the three boys. When we were looking at bedspreads for their beds at $50-$100 we decided to buy the sheets and just make comforters. That was three months ago. So on Monday I got the old quilting frames out and went to work. Hopefully we can get them done soon. Maybe we should have just spent the money and bought ones that were already made, but it's so hot and I'm surely not going outside anytime soon, so I'll just keep plugging away here in my house while Rich is out working in the, "it just isn't that bad," heat.

Tired of Being Tired

For the last couple of days I've just felt tired. Not just physically tired but tired of everything. Sometimes I go through these moods where I need a change. I don't want to be me anymore. I don't want to live here anymore. I really don't know who, what or where I want to be or go, I just know that I'm tired of the status quo. Yesterday as I was getting ready for church I had my CD playing of Hillary Weeks. I love the messages in her songs and when the song "Come Take Your Place" started playing I couldn't stop the tears. The first time I heard this was on Kamber's video that was played at her viewing. I still haven't been able to watch it after three years, but I love the songs Ethan and Jenn picked for her. Anyway, as I was listening to the words some of them just popped out at me. Lyrics like, "there's a voice in your heart telling you who you are. You are the brave, the strong and the faithful, you've been saved for this moment in time. You hear the call, you feel the flame you're prepared, so come take your place." Then the final one was, "you are right where you belong." Huh! If I'm right where I belong then why isn't my life rainbows and butterflies? Then reality set in and I realized that this life is a test for all of us. Can I endure the trials I am given? Sometimes I feel a big fat NO but other times I just kind of shuffle around trying to do my best. I finally finished my little book "Embraced By The Light." At the very end after she talks about her near death experience she explains the most important message she got. "We are to love one another.We are to be kind, to be tolerant, to give generous service. It is simply a matter of following the Savior"s message which is, "Above all else, love one another." Maybe that's my answer to being tired, we'll see.

Could It Be Cooling Down?

Mindi and I just got home from the grocery store, trying to get everything we need for Sunday dinner and the weekend. I hate shopping on Sat. it's way too busy for someone with social phobias. As we got out of the car we both noticed a slight cool breeze. What? A cool breeze in Arizona in August. The weather forecasters keep promising monsoon storms but sometimes I don't think they know what they're talking about. I told my cleaning girl I would do my house every other week so today I've been busy doing laundry, dishes, bathrooms and dusting. I'll finish the floors tomorrow when Rich is finished walking in and out a hundred times while working in the yard. I finished a little quilt for my precious Abney in Colorado. Her birthday is on Mon. so the package should get there by then. Spencer played in the first game of the season last night in Dallas. He gave me a call to tell me he had a good game and didn't get hurt. The game is going to be on TV tonight. I really need to work on my faith because every time I know he is traveling or playing I get so worried he will get hurt. This is a big year for him because it's the last year on his contract, so we a praying for a good healthy football season. My niece is getting married in Oct. so we are giving her a bridal shower in Sept. It makes me SO crazy when I know a bunch of people are coming to my house. I've been making mental notes for the last week on all that needs to get done before I can feel good about hosting this event. The one good thing about having a party here is that it gets Rich motivated to do all the stuff that has needed to be done for a long time. It's been almost a year since my hip surgery. Mindi and I were just talking about how hard it is living with chronic pain. Sometimes I wonder if it was the right thing to do. I don't think I really realized how hard it would be to recover. Mindi seems to think I would be in a wheelchair without the surgery, so if that's true then it was a success. I guess that's what life is all about, choices and consequences.

An Answer to a Simple Prayer

Yesterday was a busy day with us doing last minute shopping at Kohl's and then the grocery store. I knew I was in trouble when it hurt to walk last night. As I was going to bed Candi called to tell me they were taking Dally Dog, who's four, to the hospital to get stitches after he hit his forehead on the edge of their pool. During the night I tossed and turned trying to get comfortable but I was in pain. I cancelled my appointment to get another cortisone shot because my pain has subsided a little bit, but I guess the shopping is just too hard on this old hip. This morning my friend came to swim and the water was really warm and felt good. As we were visiting I noticed that our two little Shih Tzu dogs weren't outside with the rest of the pack. I tried to call Mindi inside the house to tell her to let them out in back. I'm sure she was crazy busy trying to get the kids off to school, the first day of school is always way stressful. Anyway, to make a long story short after swimming I came to Mindi's to ask where the dogs were. She hadn't seen them since 4:00 a.m. this morning when she let them out back. I have noticed lately that sometimes they crawl under the gate and go outside to the front and head down the road, but we have always been able to call them back. Neither one of them have a collar, but Bella has a microchip, which doesn't really help unless you take them to a vet. Rich, his secretary Amber and Mindi all went out driving around the neighborhood looking for these two little brats, they didn't have any luck. I said a little prayer and decided I would go ahead with my scripture reading. I then picked up a book Candi gave me called "Embraced By The Light", by Beatty J. Eadie. It is about this girl who goes in for surgery and has a near death experience. I'm almost finished with it but the chapter I turned to was titled "Prayer." No kidding, as I was almost finished with that chapter my door bell rang. I went to the door and a darling young man was standing there with my puppy Alice, Bella was in his truck. I was so excited, told him he was an answer to my prayers and asked where he had found them. He told me they were at the Chevron Station on Guadalupe and Higley about a mile from our house. What a tender mercy to have these little wanderers back. In my prayers I was asking that someone would find them and if they couldn't find us, to give them a good home. I asked the young man how he knew to come to my house. All he said was that his Mom thought she had seen them on our street. I have been pondering this experience all day. Sometimes I don't feel like Heavenly Father listens to my prayers, if he did then why do I have to go through the trials I have? I do know that today a simple prayer was answered and I'm thankful for that.

Three Birthdays, Forgive and Forget?

We spent almost all last week celebrating birthdays. We went to McDonalds with Major on Thurs. he's six, Tristyn to Red Robin on Friday, she turned thirteen and out to Candi's for swimming and a cook out on Sat. for Jenn who turned big 30. I took some really fun pictures of all the parties and when I went to put them in the computer I had forgotten to put the card back in the camera after my last pictures. I guess that's okay because Rich was giving me "crap" about all the picture taking I was doing, so there you go, No pictures. When we get together it gets quite loud and we sometimes get out of control. Some of my children love to antagonize me and Rich isn't usually there to come to my rescue. It is usually just in "fun" but I'm pretty sensitive about a lot of stuff, my critters, my jelly rolls, and my parenting skills or lack of. One time when we got together it was Kamber's first birthday. I remember how cute she looked with this huge bow in her hair. After we had eaten pizza, had cake and ice cream we were opening presents. I remember that Ethan was getting agitated because she was only one and couldn't really open her presents, she was tired and grouchy. He decided to just let all the other kids tear into the wrappings to hurry things along. Then the discussion turned to my animals and how I have a petting zoo in my back yard and I'm an animal hoarder. By the time everyone put in their "two cents" I was so hurt I started to cry. I just remember picking up my purse and going out to the car wanting to never come back. It took me a long time to forgive and put that experience behind me. On Sat. we were discussing this unfortunate event, four years ago. Some of my kids have forgotten it even happened, but I will forever remember how bad it made me feel. Why do I have such a hard time forgiving and forgetting? I blame it on being a Greer, it's been passed down in the DNA from my ancestors. Can I use that as an excuse? I know Rich has his favorite saying about me, "there isn't any forgiveness in this world or the world to come." Am I really that bad? I guess so. Anyway, I hope as I age and hopefully become a mature woman, I will mellow out and be able to laugh at myself a little more. I am pretty funny.

Quilting Inside, Depressing Heat

When Rich called me yesterday on his way home from work he asked me if it was hot enough for me outside. I haven't really been anywhere since Monday so when he told me it was 113 degrees I felt sick for all the animals and people who are out in the heat all day. I invited a friend and her husband over to swim and when we got in the pool it felt like a sauna. The water had to have been at least 100 degrees, we didn't stay in long. When I complain to my Mom about the heat she tells me her sob story about how they didn't have air conditioning in the olden days. They slept outside with the scorpions and mosquitoes in the roasting heat. I can't believe it, but I know she wouldn't lie to me. Ethan brought the two dogs back that he's been feeding. They are so hot at his house that they are digging big holes in his lawn to try and get cool, so tonight I will have six dogs to feed, sounds fun. They just sit at my door and want in, we even have a cooler for them. Since I try and stay inside when the temps are over 110 I've been working on two quilts. I made a darling cupcake one for Mindi's baby and when she washed it the yarn I used to hold it together raveled, it looked horrible. So I have decided to try and start hand quilting them. It has been relaxing to sit and sew while I watch t.v. in the evening. I may need to learn how to use my machine to quilt because it is taking me forever to get one done. Life continues to come at me in record speed. We have three birthdays and a wedding reception this weekend. The kids start back to school next week. How can the summer be coming to an end already? It seems like we just celebrated Memorial Day and pretty soon it will be Labor Day. At least maybe the weather will cool down by then.