"Life is Hard, but Simple"

For the last few days we have been hearing about this monster storm that is going to hit us from the remnants of a Hurricane down in Mexico. Living in the desert we will take every drop of rain we can get. Anyway, as I was getting ready for bed last night I was complaining to Rich about how the weather forecasters must be idiots because a lot of times they say we are going to get storms that never come our way. When I woke up this morning and looked out we are flooded. It looks like it does when we have three hours of irrigation. So of course all we are hearing about is the rain. First it was enough rain to call it a fifty year flood and now it may be 100 years, who knows. I know some parts of Phoenix have gotten between five and six inches of rain and it's still raining. I love the rain, it makes me happy, it cools the temperatures down and smells so good. Too bad it's going to get back up into the 100's by the weekend. A couple of weeks ago Len and Julie had a General Authority come stay with them for the weekend. He was one of the Presidents of the Seventy, so he's a special person. Anyway, they invited us down to meet him and have a little discussion. It was just Mary and her husband, Josh and his wife and me and Rich. Len asked him an interesting question. He said, "Teri and Rich have lost a granddaughter to drowning. Mary lost her husband last year to an illness. And we have had our own challenges. What would you say to would help us get through these trials." After thinking for a minute all he said is, "Life is hard, we just have to keep going and do the best we can when facing these challenges." He then went on to tell a little story about his own daughter and how she was still grieving after the loss of her baby. Yesterday in Sunday School we talked about Job. Have any of us suffered as much as Job did? And did he ever blame God? I have been trying really hard to receive some inspiration on what to do about my knee and hip. I have come to realize that someday soon I will get my answer. It just might not be the right time to make a decision, or maybe I will just be healed. I do know that our Heavenly Father knows each one of us and wants us to be happy. As they taught in the lesson yesterday, "Life is Hard, but it is so Simple." I'm going to spend the day inside working on some quilts and hopefully at some point it will stop raining so I can get out and feed my hungry critters.

Family Reunion 2014

I spent two days last weekend at a family reunion up north in Eagar and feel like I've been trying to catch up all week. It was so nice to be where there was a cool breeze and temps between 59 and 77 degrees. The White Mountains are where I spent every summer visiting my grandparents and learning the country life. I learned how to fish with a bobber at the lakes and creeks, and was introduced to  caring for farm animals like chickens, rabbits, horses and cows. It's like going back in time for me when I visit the property and now that my parents are getting old, I realize that someday it will belong to me and my siblings. We got there Friday afternoon and spent the rest of the night cleaning up, getting ready for the party on Saturday and having a nice dinner. My nephew Jeremy, who was just made the Bishop a week ago, was such a big help. He mowed the lawns and did everything we asked him to do. He is really a good person, he even made a late night run to Dairy Queen for us. On Saturday we fixed breakfast and then Len and Julie came, they left early in the morning from Gilbert. I was hoping Rich would ride up with them but he is so busy with work and needs to go up in a couple of weeks to drain the water out of the cabin and get it ready for winter. So I had to forgive him for not coming, none of my family came. Mindi and Dave are busy with their kids with volleyball and football. Candi had to work both days, Ethan and Jenn are expecting twins and he's as busy as Rich is with work. And then Spencer is in Boston so I knew he would be a "no show" they did surprise me last year coming from Denver. My nephew Joshua and his wife Amy came with their five kids. They are super musical and played us some music on their string instruments. Amy is an accomplished violinist and has taught her kids how to play. I could tell my Dad really enjoyed that, he came from a musical family too. I could tell this trip was really hard on my parents. My Dad had a hard time sleeping and would work a few minutes and then come in to rest. It's hard to see your parents get old and slow down. They both are such good examples of faithful service and to have their family there with them was so special. It gets harder and harder as we get more and more people to find a time to have a reunion. Dad says he's done with the farming. When we pulled up the corn field looked like it was a failure. But the corn was delicious and was just enough for the few people who came. My Aunt Nadine and her son Mackey and his wife Kim came over and had lunch with us. I'm so sad we haven't kept in touch with them over the years. We left late in the afternoon and Len drove my parents home in their truck and I came with Julie. It was fun to visit with her I don't think I've ever spent four hours just talking to her. She is an amazing person and I admire her spirit and service. I'm glad I went, and it was good to get home in my own bed. Now if we could just get some cooler temperatures to move in it will be perfect. I'm ready for Fall!

I Hate The Heat!

This is the time of year when I feel I'm losing what few marbles I have left in my brain. We are on the energy saving plan to help defray the extremely high energy costs by turning off everything at 3:00 in the afternoon. By 5:00 I felt like I was having heatstroke. I had stripped down to just my underwear and still was about to die. So I put my suit on and got in the pool. I'm just now starting to feel a little bit better, I really don't know how much longer I can take this. It doesn't help that the air conditioner is broken that cools my kitchen and dining area and the one in my family room keeps shutting off at different times during the day. I'm starting to lose patience with my contractor husband and think maybe I will just hire someone to come fix it and he can pay the bill. All he says is "go outside where it's 110 and then 86 feels pretty good." He' NOT funny! This weekend my Dad is having a little family reunion up in Eagar like we did last year. The little cabin was perfect twenty years ago but with all the grandkids and great grandkids we just don't fit anymore. Plus I like my king size bed and the little twin and full beds don't fit us plus size adults. I started a quilt last year to raffle off but never finished it, so I thought about finishing it this year. Then I lost interest again until my sister reminded me that I had promised it last year. So today was the day to put a huge dent in it. I've got it all together, tied, and the binding on. I was blind hemming the binding when I started having heatstroke so maybe tonight when my house cools down I will be able to work on it some more. Hopefully it will be cool in the mountains because I've about had it with the heat. I swear next year I'm going somewhere away from the desert until it cools off, or maybe I just won't come back this weekend.

New Bishops Times Two

For the last two Sundays I have attended church where new Bishoprics have been sustained. Last week it was in my home ward and yesterday was in Chandler where my nephew was put in as the Bishop of his ward. The meetings were similar but because of the family ties, yesterday was extremely sweet. My nephew, Jeremy is the oldest of the grandchildren and the first baby to make me an aunt. I remember taking him to the zoo and having fun with him before I had my own children. He has been an honorable kid, who served a mission in Canada and has served with two Bishops and on the High Council for two years. He and his wife adopted two small children who needed a home because of choices their birth mother made. He has a great personality and his sense of humor makes him so fun to be around, we love when he comes to the family parties. I know he will do a great job and know the Lord will bless his family while he serves. In his talk he spoke about his favorite song being, "As I Have Loved You." That's one of my favorite songs also. He told the people in his ward that he wanted them to "love themselves like he knows the Savior loves them." I felt he was talking to me, because sometimes I feel so unworthy of love that I sink into a dark abyss. Last evening we went out to Ethan and Jen's for dinner. It's always fun to see the kids and be together. Jen is feeling and looking pregnant but I think she still looks great. I know having twins is going to be a hard challenge for her but if anyone can do it, she can. We are thankful the babies are healthy and normal so far and pray she can get through this without complications. Changes are coming within our wards and in families and that's what we can be sure of, things never stay the same.

Next Week Will Be Better I Hope

The end of another week is approaching and each week I think the next will be better, less busy and more fun. Sure! This week has gone by so fast with appointments at the dentist, the doctor and I got my B-12 shot this morning, so I should have more energy soon. Tomorrow I will be heading over to EVDI to have my bone scan to see what's up with my hip and knee. I have had a lot of "stupor of thought" lately, with ideas swirling around in my head about my future. I was talking to my friend about it and wondering what the answer is to my inability to walk normally, and my doubts about doing surgery again. What are my fears, really? As we talked, he made me realize that I know what my future will be without doing anything. I'm living that reality, but I really don't know what will happen if I go back in and let them try and fix it. Candi has a client who had a knee replacement and ended up with an amputation. EEK! That is a concern to me, but would that happen, it could? So I tell myself scary stories about what can go wrong and wanting some help from above. I guess the answer is to gather all the information, get as many opinions as I can and then pray about it until I feel good about my answer. I trust my family, especially my parents who I know have my best interests and want me to be happy, don't we all want our children to have a happy life? Tomorrow morning I have to be at the imaging place at 9:30 to get a shot. Then I'm coming home for three hours and work on my Fabulous Friday RS project before I head back for the scan. I've had one of these before and hopefully I can keep my anxiety in check, it doesn't hurt, just time consuming. Then I'm sure next week I will be able to put a dent in my quilting, I'm tired of having all these unfinished projects, next week has to be better, Right?

Bone Scan and Quilting

As the summer finally starts to wind down it's good to know the cooler weather will gradually come. We have had a few good monsoon storms the last two weeks and between those and irrigation we are pretty much a mud bog out back. The temperatures have gone down a little but the humidity has been so high, it's seems hotter than ever. I have heard lots of people say they can't wait for August to be over. I finally have the date for my bone scan which will be done on Friday. I called to leave a message with my knee surgeon to talk about my options, I'm anxious to see what he thinks I should do. On Sunday while sitting in church I got this overwhelming feeling that something needed to change in my life. I can't put my finger on what's bothering me. I have had these feelings before where I don't feel I'm doing what I'm suppose to be doing, or living where I'm suppose to be living. Maybe it's just a phase in life when you get over 60 and hopefully it will pass soon, or maybe a change is coming I don't know about yet.  I've been working on some really cute quilts lately. My granddaughter has requested not only what pattern of quilt she wants but also the color of fabrics she wants. Her birthday is in late September so hopefully I can get it done. I'm also working on one that I started last year to take to our reunion in the White Mountains on Labor Day weekend. I'm still trying to figure out how to finish it, so that has me worried. Then of course I need double of everything for the twins coming in the Fall. Making and buying two of everything is getting expensive and time consuming but I'm so excited to see what these two babies look like. I never in a million years thought I would be the grandmother to twins. We don't have any twins in our family that I know of, so this has to be from Jenn's posterity. Right now everything is going well and the babies are healthy and look normal, we are thankful for that.

I'm Still Debbie Downer I Guess

I wanted to write on my blog today but as the day went on, my mood started to change and I hate writing when I'm irritated, especially when I don't even know why. I think a lot of it is because I'm not getting enough sleep. Rich gets up really early to work in his office before he puts in his 10 plus hours on jobs and if I get woken up it's really hard for me to get back to sleep. I'm ready for fall and winter to come when the sun doesn't come up at 5:00 a.m.. Last night I was up late at a planning meeting for a Relief Society activity. This year we are doing a Fabulous Friday instead of Super Saturday, so we needed to brainstorm on some projects to make. Some of the ladies have small children so they don't start the meeting until 8:00 p.m., the time I am usually winding down for bed. Anyway, as the night got later and later I could tell my attitude was getting more and more negative. I've attended almost forty years of these activities, so it's hard for me to find something that I haven't either done, or that I know has been done before in our ward. It's also hard to find projects that don't cost a lot and that appeal to all the different needs of the sisters. I should have just kept my mouth shut, because if I end up having knee surgery, I won't even be able to help with it. I've been told by some people close to me that I'm so "negative" that I only see what can go wrong instead of having a positive "I can do it" thought process. I've even been compared to Debbie Downer from Saturday Night Live, who always sees what is wrong with every situation. I like to think that maybe I'm in reality a little bit more than some of those closest to me, but they view it as negative thinking. At what point do you quit trying to change and just accept the way you are, guts, feathers and all? As we were leaving the meeting my friend asked me at what point you think you've done enough service and you don't want to do it anymore. I know we are taught that we never stop serving and we try and make a difference in the lives of others through service. Maybe if I could get a good nights sleep my attitude would get better and I could come up with some good ideas for Fabulous Friday and think of ways to serve and be grateful. More sleep, that sounds wonderful, I'm going to try it tonight.

"I Love You Anyway."

I'm amazed at how fast the weeks are passing by. This has been a busy and emotional week for me. We had a fun river trip to celebrate Tristyn's birthday and then the kids went back to school, which is always stressful but welcomed. Yesterday I had an appointment with my hip surgeon to discuss my inability to walk normally. After looking at the x-rays he talked about the decision to put in a metal on metal hip three years ago. I guess they thought it would be best because it is stronger and lasts forever. The problem is that some patients don't do well with the metal. They still have pain and complications, Me! I mentioned to him that I just had knee surgery in May, so he had the tech shoot an x-ray of my knee. I knew it was a gamble when my knee collapsed on me, but I was hopeful. I guess the x-ray shows bone on bone and my knee isn't even aligned right together. He thinks it might be best to do a knee replacement first and then work on the hip later. As we left I was a mess. We got in the car and I started crying. I told my sister I needed help, I need an angel to come tell me what to do. If not an angel then maybe my Grandma Fern or Aunt Tenna would do. I would even take some help from Kamber, that's if she is aware of my troubles. After I had a good cry my sister said, "what did you expect the doctor to tell you?" I told her how I felt, that even though I knew what he was going to say, until I actually heard the words out of his mouth, I was still hopeful something could be done without surgery again. I'm not afraid to do surgery and I know I can survive the pain, but it's not knowing what the outcome will be that makes me so sad. If I knew my life would be better and I could be mobile again, I would endure anything no matter how hard. I just don't know if I have enough faith to step into the dark again. All this stress has caused me to tank out in the toilet. Sometimes I get scared at some of my thoughts. I get down on myself and beat myself up over lots of things. I ran across a saying somewhere this week as I was reading. It said, "At the end of the day, tell yourself gently; I love you, you did the best you could today and even if you didn't accomplish all you had planned, I love you anyway." So before I go take a little nap I'm going to tell myself that "I love you anyway."

River Trip 2014

On Tuesday we decided to go floating down the Salt River for Tristyn's sixteenth birthday. The summer is almost over and school was starting, so that was really the last day to make the trip. After taking her to lunch and finding a life jacket for Miss Trulie, we were on our way. We piled in the cars with drinks and tubes and off we went. After airing up the tubes and walking down to the river, it was around four o'clock, perfect timing. We pretty much had the whole river to ourselves. Candi, B.J. and their boys were tied together, Mindi, Tristyn and I were together and Dave and the boys were all tied up too. B.J. had called up to see what the floating conditions were and they warned us it was running pretty slow. We spent a lot of the time skimming our butts along the rocks but the water was cool and the sun was shining and we were all together. I remember as a teenager floating with friends and church activities. One of the worst sunburns I ever had was floating down the river, I'm older and smarter now. I took my old crappy camera to take some pictures in case it got wet or fell in the river so my pictures aren't that great. Trace and Troy had a blast looking under the water for fish and they was determined to find something of value. Poor Trent was upset the whole time, in tears and had anxiety so bad. We kept asking him why he was so upset. He finally shared that he was afraid his little brother was going to drown because he kept getting off his tube and looking under the water, poor Trent. On the way up we were talking about when a boy in our ward drowned at the river. They had gone up for Family Home Evening and his shoelace got caught on some rebar at the bridge. His brothers tried desperately to save him but the river was running so fast they couldn't save him. It was a sad time for everyone in our ward. He was my son Ethan's age and it impacted all of us so much that when Kamber drowned, it brought up lots of bad memories for us. But, life goes on and we try and do everything we can to be safe and then pray nothing tragic will happen. I'm so thankful for my family. They were so kind to me getting me in and out of a tube was hard. Walking up the path to the car was hard with my bad hip and knees but Dave and B.J. were so kind to get me up and out. Today I have an appointment with my hip surgeon to see about why I'm still having such a hard time walking. I really need some inspiration or revelation on this one. Do I take a chance at another surgery in hope is will get better? Or do I just carry on the way it is using a cane and at some point being in a wheelchair? Life has a cruel way of teaching us to be humble and prayerful.

Three Birthdays and School Starting

The last couple of weeks have gone by so fast. We have been busy trying to get the kids ready to go back to school, plus plan for Tristyn's blowout 16th birthday party last Saturday night. I still can't believe my oldest grandchild is going to be sixteen tomorrow, how did that happen? I was thinking about the day she was born just yesterday. What a fun thing to be a grandma, but a lot of responsibility too. We had all the kids and grandkids that were in town come before the party for dinner before all her friends came to dance. We celebrated Major, Tristyn and Jenn's birthdays at the Shenandoah Mill reception center and it ended up being a lot of fun. When the kids started coming to dance, Rich and I brought all the younger ones home and that was fine with me. You know you're getting old when the loud music gives you a headache and you feel like jumping out the window. I ended up watching the kids until the adults got home around midnight. I thought I was doing a good job until Trulie came in and she had mascara all over her eyes and hands. I'm too old and tired to take care of a three year old after eleven at night. As I was washing her off, she kept telling me I was hurting her. She's just lucky I didn't spank her because if she was my child, she probably would have gotten a swat on the butt, that's another good thing about being a grandma, no spanking. This week is going to be busy, we are floating down the river tomorrow and school starts on Wednesday. We will be doing the "happy dance" around here when the school bus pulls out, but then we still have this three year old to deal with, until she starts pre-school. I don't know which is more scary a naughty three year old, or a sixteen year old starting to date and drive. Yea, I do know what's more scary, so I will try and not think about it, or then I will jump out a window.

"The Problem of the Day"

This morning I woke up really early at around 4:30. I was dripping in sweat and don't know if I was having a hot flash or  just got wound up in the covers on the bed. I never could get back to sleep so I got up and started my day. I read some more in my book about being a "Survivor," but most of it was about how to survive a plane crash. Since I'm afraid to fly, I'm pretty sure that's not the way I'm going to leave this earth. I did think it was interesting that the least likely people to survive a plane crash are older, out of shape women which puts me at the top of the list to not get out of the plane alive. I read a couple of chapters in my scriptures and then started my chores. When I fed the dogs I noticed the pool pump wasn't on, so I had Dave see if he could see what was wrong. He thinks the motor in the pump is gone, so we'll see how many days until we have a green pool again. I have a leak in my ceiling in my hall where the air conditioner is leaking on the wood floor. Nobody seems to care about that either, so I guess I'll just do what I can with towels and buckets. Not to mention the air conditioning in my kitchen never gets below 81 degrees. This is the part of summer that is the hardest for me. I've already lived through two months of 100 degrees and still have another two to go. It may start cooling down around Halloween but that's never for sure. Every summer I dream of going away for the summer to the mountains where it's cool, someday that will happen. These next two weeks are going to be so busy. We have four birthdays and Mindi is crazy busy getting everything ready for Tristyn's "sweet sixteen" blowout dance party on Saturday night. What we do for our kids should give us a straight shot into heaven. Even with everything that is not going so well right now I know I'm still so blessed to even have a house and cool air blowing in. My life has never been perfect and I'm pretty sure it never will be as I struggle everyday with something. When I was talking to Spencer last week he assured me that everyone has the same thing going on. He said, "today it is this problem, and tomorrow will be something else, it's just the problem of the day, everyday." Is it too much to ask for just ONE day that I don't have a problem?

Six Years of Surviving

This morning I woke up and am having a normal day. The usual things to do and then off to the grocery store before the heat is so bad I pray to die. Anyway, when I got home I remembered what a hard day this is. Six years ago today I started my own personal journey to hell and back. I've worked really hard through counseling, prayer and study, to help myself go on to live a productive life. I've worked through the five stages of grief, 1) Denial or Isolation, 2) Anger, 3) Bargaining, 4) Depression, and finally 5) Acceptance. After six years it is so important to accept the drowning death of sweet Kamber as something that happened. That's the reality of it. I remember the still small voice say, "why not you?" as I asked why I would have to go through something so hard. I've learned a lot about myself and my family. I found out that we can be survivors. As I've been reading my new favorite book, he talks about the 3 Rules of the Survivors Club, 1) Everyone is a Survivor, 2) It's not all Relative, and 3) You're stronger that your Know.  He says, "We all at times, face hopelessness and despair. We all experience grief, abandonment, and crushing loss. And all of us sooner or later will face the inevitable nearness of death." Six years ago as we experienced the sudden death of a grandchild I remember thinking, "how can I ever go on?" Well, I've made it six long years and even though there are times the sadness is still there, I am more thankful now that my faith is strong and I KNOW I will see her again. I know she is happy and I hope she will help her mother as Jenn brings these twins into the world. I miss her, love her, and hope she is aware of that. Our family are survivors and I'm so proud of that!

Max's Birthday, Mary"s Wedding

This week is proving to be another busy one for us. It started when we celebrated Max's birthday on Saturday with swimming, pizza and a Ninja Turtle Cake that Mindi made for him. Today is his birthday and he is now four years old, the only boy in the family with five sisters. He is a sweet boy but has his moments when he is kind of aggressive towards Brookie and Reagan, so it's probably a good thing Jenn is having two brothers for him to play with. We had to celebrate early because their kids started school today. Is it school time already? Yesterday as we went to the Temple for Mary's sealing it was 112 degrees. I got out of the truck and before I could get to the Temple doors I thought I was having a heat stroke. Today is no better with the forecasted high at 114. This is a good day to stay in and do some sewing. I finally finished a quilt for Mary and Jeff, so now I'm determined to make one for me. Mindi has also informed me that she would like a quilt for her bed too. I didn't take any pictures at the Temple because we literally walked out, smiled a few times and got the heck out of there. The reception was fun with dancing, cupcakes and ice cream sundaes. Last year she was alone with three children and now is married with six kids combined. I am so happy for her and hope their lives will be full of love and companionship. As I was talking to my Brother Len last night about all that has happened in the last year, he said, "that's the way life is, things are always changing." That gives me hope that maybe the weather will be changing and we can get some cool breezes and monsoon thunderstorms coming our way, otherwise I'm afraid I'm going to melt.

"The Survivors Club"

On Sunday when Spencer called he told me about a book he's reading called "The Survivors Club," by Ben Sherwood. I've been busy, but this morning I woke up early and decided to read a little bit on my I Pad before starting my chores. I'm only in the first chapter but it's really got me thinking about what a "Survivor" is. He says, "Eventually everyone joins the fellowship of men and women who have been knocked around by life." He then defines what a survivor is as "anyone who faces or overcomes adversity, hardships, illness, or physical or emotional trauma." That describes me to a tee, and then I started thinking of others in my life who are survivors. My Dad who has been battling prostate cancer for almost 12 years. When he was diagnosed, they gave him 18 months to live without treatment, but he had courage to do what it took to prolong his life. Another good example is my son Ethan and his wife Jenn, who have survived one of the hardest trials ever in burying one of their children. My niece Mary whose husband Lance, passed away a year ago and left her with three young children to raise. I think of my own trials in suffering from anxiety, depression, a miscarriage, multiple surgeries and the loss of our precious Kamber. The author says, "Survivors keep going despite opposition and setbacks. They may want to quit but they still persevere." Life doesn't stay the same, thank goodness and a few weeks ago we found out Ethan and Jenn are expecting twin boys. The decision to have more children came with lots of prayer and soul searching. My niece Mary is getting married today and we will get to be with her in the Temple as she is sealed to her new husband Jeff. A year ago her life was so sad, and now she is moving forward with her life and we are so happy for her. The other day I was telling a friend of mine that sometimes it seems like it would just be better if I could pass through the veil to the other side. My life seems so hard at times and I wonder if I even deserve to be happy. I guess I fall into that category of wanting to quit and give up. But I also want to be a Survivor. I want my kids and grand kids to know I could do hard things and get past them. I want to belong to the "Survivors Club."

Another Scorpion Attack

This week has been one of those weeks that have made me wonder what the heck I'm doing in my life. Whenever I think things are going good, or may be improving, I'm knocked down again. Last week I was thinking how lucky I have been this summer to not have any scorpion stings. After being stung a hundred times, I absolutely hate scorpions. Last night I went in my bathroom to put my swim suit on to exercise my knee in the pool. The first suit was still wet from the night before, so I grabbed one on the counter that had a towel on it. I slipped it on and before I could say a cuss word it got me three times on the upper leg. I grabbed a wet washcloth and beat the crap out of it and threw it in the sink. I went outside and tried to enjoy the 90 degree water but my leg was throbbing. I came in and got some pain reliever and when I went to get a can of soda it fell on the floor and sprayed all over my kitchen floor, cabinets, and even sprayed the pictures of my family on my fridge. Now I am ticked off as I had to spend time mopping up sticky soda as my leg throbbed. When I went to take some medicine my throat was numb and I couldn't feel the back of my throat. Then my lips started getting tingly and numb too. I think I'm going to have to start joining Mindi in her nightly scorpion hunt because I'm so tired of this. I'm getting tired of quite of few things in my life right now and need to make some changes. I'm running out of time to be able to live the life I want, hopefully it will be somewhere there aren't any scorpions.

$10 Gift

This summer seems to be more brutal than ever. I guess having surgery at the beginning started it off badly. We are now in the monsoon season when everyday we could possibly have a thunderstorm. We haven't had rain for so many months it was nice to get a little shower Sunday night. The problem is that after it rains, it's so humid you can hardly breath. Yesterday after running an errand Mindi and I were exiting the freeway heading home. Standing there at the corner was a man holding a sign. He looked dirty, had a hole in his pants and was carrying a ripped up McDonalds backpack. I took $10 out of my purse and had Mindi hand it to him out the window. He thanked us and said "God bless you." Most of the time it doesn't work out for me to hand money out, but this time I felt prompted to. I know there are people who think you shouldn't pass out money to panhandlers. After I gave him the money I didn't really care if he bought drugs, alcohol or maybe went to McDonalds for lunch. I started thinking what would get me to the point that I was desperate enough to stand out in the heat, by the freeway and beg for money? I was telling my Dad later on in the day what I did. I told him that I am so thankful that I have never felt my life was so hopeless that I didn't have a place to live. Then we joked about how we might all be going to Scottsdale to live with them if the country keeps going on the way it is. I am so thankful to have good parents who are still healthy enough to take care of themselves at 85 years old. I know it won't last forever but for now I'm grateful for them, but Dad did tell me he wouldn't have given the guy $10.

I Survived Bunco, Yea!

For the last month I've been stressing about having the Bunco ladies come to my house for dinner and games. I had never played Bunco before, which is just a silly dice game that a bunch of old ladies get together and play. There is absolutely no skill to it, just rolling dice and keeping score. I used to be able to plan parties, baby and bridal showers and it was a lot of work, but I kind of enjoyed it. It forced me to stretch a little and be creative and get my house ship, shape. This morning when I woke up I felt like I'd been hit by a truck. The stress of the last month had taken a toll and my head was pounding and I was in a bad mood. Since Kamber passed away and I've had hip replacement and now a bad knee, it just seems like anything extra is too hard for me. I wish I was the type of person that could invite people over and just not care that everything looks perfect. Just a little dusting and vacuuming would do. I just can't do that and besides having to do dinner and treats, desert and buy a little gift for twelve people, put me over the edge. It was a lot of fun and I absolutely love the ladies that came. Jenn came over this morning and we took all the kids out to swim. As we were enjoying the 90 plus degree water, I was thinking how nice it would be to be able to just get away. Pack up all the grand kids and get out of the heat. I envisioned myself sitting under a pine tree enjoying the cool weather. Or maybe another trip to the beach and have the smell of salt water permeate around me. I know that can't happen we have way too much going on around here and too many animals to find homes for, but it was worth a try and just daydreaming about it picked up my mood a little bit.

Baby #1 and Baby #2

Yesterday was a whopper of a day. I had Mindi and Rich's secretary, Amber helping me do some intervention in my kitchen. I have a hard time throwing things away and they were both busy helping me. The phone rang and it was Ethan asking if I wanted a sandwich for lunch. He's always thoughtful like that if he's in the area. Pretty soon Jenn showed up. I had forgotten that she had her first appointment with the OB doctor. As she walked in she was carrying a pink gift bag with blue tissue paper. At this point I'm still really confused. She handed me the bag and told me this would let me know what the gender of the baby was. When I pulled the contents out there were two baby boy sleepers, one saying Baby #1 and Baby #2. By now I'm in shock and thinking they are pulling a prank on me. After some happy tears we went in to panic mode. We don't have any multiple births on our side of the family so this must from Jenn's side or maybe just a gift from God. Jenn has always thought she would have twin boys but even with this pregnancy I told her she didn't look big enough for twins. Wow, I'm wrong again, she is 17 weeks pregnant and measuring 23 already. I keep telling myself that if Heavenly Father didn't think they could handle this he wouldn't have sent these precious babies to them. This will make eight children for them, one in Heaven. Kamber must be busy up there getting them ready to come and hopefully sending help for her other siblings because this is going to really change their family. Life always has a way of throwing me a curve ball and this one is a doozy.

Boring 4th of July

Another busy week has come and gone. The week included a birthday party and the 4th of July, neither which was very exciting. Rich looks at holidays as just an extra day for him to get some projects done and catch up on things that he hasn't had time to do yet. By 9 o'clock last night I was falling asleep watching the fireworks on the television, so lame. I didn't even go outside to look and see if there were any fireworks close. Party Pooper I am.  Candi is in California with her in-laws and Spencer's still in Boston. Mindi had her blowout birthday party for Trulie, so she was tired. Ethan invited us out but he's moved half way to Globe, and we were too tired to go that far.  I've often wondered why my life seems to be so predictable and boring, while other families seem to really go all out for these holidays. When I was a kid we would go to Eagar for the 4th. I remember how fun it was watching the parade, rodeo and even going to the western dances. Rich grew up in Richfield, Utah and I've spent a few 4th of Julys up there and they really put on a fun parade and carnival at the park. Plus it's way cooler in those two places. I know most of my lifestyle is self inflicted. Having lots of animals and being self employed, definitely puts a damper on how much we can vacation. Yesterday as Mindi and I were running some errands, we were talking about how it seems like all our holidays seem to be workdays. Her boys spent yesterday and today mowing the lawns and cleaning the pool. Maybe it is getting time to find that two bedroom condo that doesn't allow pets. Now that would solve a lot of my problems, but where would we be put all the other stuff we have? I wouldn't change who I am or the experiences I've had. I have even learned to accept the trials I've gone through. Later this month it will be six years since Kamber went home to heaven. Six years is a long time to grieve. We miss her so much especially when all the kids get together and there is this feeling that someone is missing. Looking on the bright side Rich finally got someone over to fix the air conditioning. Believe me, 77 degrees feels way better than 84 in my kitchen.

Gismo is Gone, Trulie is Three!

I woke up this morning early and decided to just get up and get going. I have been a little lax in my scripture reading, so I decided that maybe today would be a good day to start. When I opened them I was in Alma. One of the scriptures I read was Alma 48:11 where it says, "And Moroni was a strong and a mighty man; he was a man of a perfect understanding, yea, a man that did not delight in bloodshed; a man whose soul did joy in the liberty and the freedom of his country, and his brethren from bondage and slavery." I thought that was really weird with tomorrow being the 4th of July. Liberty and freedom are really important to us. When I started working around my house I realized that Rich had let the little dog Gizmo out in front while he was loading up for work and she was gone. This little dog is 13 years old, deaf and partially blind. When I called Rich to tell him she was missing he told me to send the kids out to look for her. They rode their bikes up and down the street and around the two neighborhoods to the east of our house. They never did find her and I was getting worried. It's going to be 111 degrees today and I have a missing dog that Rich offered to dog sit for a month and she was no where in sight. I decided there wasn't anything more I could do so I just started working around the house, and praying she would be found.  I had this strange thought come into my mind. "Don't worry, everything is going to be alright, someone has found her." By now I'm thinking that maybe I'm losing it, but within a few minutes Mindi called to say someone found her, called the owner, who called Rich and she had just picked her up. My prayers had been answered, whew! Today is Miss Trulie's 3rd birthday. Mindi has been working all week on a little party for her, a "Frozen" party. When I went down to check out how all the preparations were going, I found Trulie eating ice cream for breakfast. We make fun of her that she looks like Anna in the movie because her hair is crazy in the mornings. I'm headed to physical therapy and then the party is this afternoon. Sounds like I'm going to need a nap too.