Thursday, May 14, 2009

The Light

Those close to me know that once a month I go to counseling to get my head screwed back on right. It really helps me to take some deep breaths and try to figure out what is bothering me at that time. For the last two times he has suggested I read a book called,"LIGHT In The Wilderness." I am only in the second chapter but I have really felt inspired by this book. I wouldn't say that I'm an intellectual person, so when I read, it has to be easy for me to understand or I lose interest really fast. Although I wouldn't say this book is easy reading, I have managed to stay with it and I almost can't put it down. Basically, I have learned that we are in the wilderness, and without the Light of Christ we don't have a chance. This book is filled with scriptures and quotes by prophets and authors. One of the things I've learned is that "We have to acknowledge the Lord's hand in all things-to give up the idea that things happen randomly to us." She quotes Brigham Young in saying, "Make up your minds thoroughly, once and for all, that if we have trials, the Lord has suffered them to be brought upon us, and he will give us grace to bear them." I have thought about what happened on July 25th almost every day since then and at times I thought my heart was breaking in half, that I was dying inside. I remember walking down the hall punching the wall saying, "NO! NO! Why me." Then in a still small voice I heard. "Why not you?" So on we go wandering in the wilderness trying to make sense out of things that happen to us. My new motto is the Serenity Prayer which is "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference."

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