Halloween With Grandchildren

I've been home from California for a week now and have been working hard to get my house back together again. I've been busy doing laundry, ironing Rich's shirts, and trying to catch up on my sleep deprivation. It was extremely hot in California and I slept in an upstairs room with no air conditioning, so it was good to get home.  On Thursday afternoon Mindi and Dave left for a Conference in Utah. They have five children from the ages of 17 to 4 so it's not like they have a bunch of little kids. I got up really early yesterday morning to get the kids off to school. One did make it to school but the other three complained of everything from sore throats to unknown maladies. I was so stressed out that I texted Mindi and said, "you need to deal with them because they don't respond to me." All I heard back was "ok". After I went in my bedroom and had a good cry, I returned to her house and started a mandatory "pickup drill." They were pretty good to help me with the dishes and laundry before I finally gave up and went to my house to try and get something done there. Can I just say that I sure admire those grandparents that have had to raise their grandchildren because of situations they didn't expect. I will just be glad when their parents get home tomorrow so they can deal with their children. I don't like the responsibility and hate having to get upset with them before they will help. It hasn't helped that the girl that helps me clean my house hasn't worked for almost a month because she has a bad foot. Yesterday Ethan invited us out to his Ward's "Trunk or Treat". I thought it would be fun to take the kids somewhere since they were feeling MUCH better in the afternoon. Ethan has always wanted to be the scary clown from the Steven King's movie, "It". I've never seen it because I'm a chicken but he had someone make his costume after I refused to. He filled up lots of balloons and gave them to the kids, which I thought would be too scared to even go by him but they weren't. This Halloween has been fun so far spending some time with the Wootans at Disneyland and then last night with Ethan's family. I will be glad after next week when we move on to pomegranate picking and Thanksgiving, if it would just cool down so I can get in the mood for the holidays that would help.

Home From California

I had so much fun in California last week but boy is it good to be home. I was running out of clean underwear and that would be horrible if that happened.  We left at around noon yesterday and pulled into Phoenix at around 6:30. The weather had been horrible at the beach, hot and humid and it didn't start to cool off until we were getting ready to leave. This summer has been a doozy for me.  I had surgery in July and then left for Montana, where I stayed for almost three weeks. I suffered through the heat up there too and then came home for a couple of months. Then I went with Candi's family to California. I've had such a fun time with my kids and grand kids. I have felt a little guilty leaving Rich here to work but he got his own vacation when he went to Italy in May for eleven days.  We probably should have gotten to know each other better before we got married because it just seems like we don't enjoy the same things in life. I love animals and my family and he loves to work (to support the family) and his church callings. Maybe we balance each other out a bit but someday I hope to be able to go on a trip with him that doesn't involve airplanes or foreign countries. Rich is a mover and shaker and has to be busy doing something all the time.  He would have hated just relaxing on the beach and watching the waves.  The third time we went to the beach we went late in the afternoon and stayed until almost dark. The life guards pulled up behind where we were sitting and put a wooden stake in the ground. My son-in-law B.J. went over to see what it said. He came back and told the boys to get out of the water. I guess earlier in the afternoon they saw a ten foot hammerhead shark just out from where we were sitting. The sign said, "Due to aggressive shark activity the beach is closed." Okay they didn't say anything to us and I sat there and watched surfers for hours in the water wondering if I would see a shark attack at any minute. While I've been traveling and staying with family I have really learned a lot about myself and gained a better appreciation for this country we live in. The beauty of it amazes me and I wish I knew more about the oceans and mountains. Yesterday as we traveled home it was cloudy and raining as we entered Arizona. The skies were black and it looked like we were going to get in a really bad storm. It did rain a little bit on us but as I looked over there was a double rainbow so I had Major take a picture through the window. I'm glad to be home and probably will be staying home for a long time.

California Adventure

I have had the best time with Candi's family in California. Yesterday we went to Disneyland for the Trick or Treat with Mickey Party.  I have been worrying for a while how I would do with the crowds, long lines, and the heat.  We were lucky that everything worked out and we had a great time.  We didn't get home and in bed until 1:00 a.m., and I woke up feeling like I had been run over by a truck.  I have to admit I went into the night pretty naive to what was about to happen to me. We started out on an easy ride, Buzz Lightyear. Then next we headed to Star Tours.  How hard can that be sitting in a enclosed area watching a movie with 3D glasses.  Oh my heck, that ride made me know why I don't get in an airplane.  We then went to Space Mountain where during and after I truly thought I was going to die. Being in the dark going 30 miles per hour was terrifying to me and is definitely off my bucket list. After we went to the Pirates of the Carribean and the Haunted Mansion, we decided to get something to eat, rest and watch the fireworks which were amazing. We finished the night off by getting candy and going on our final ride, Thundermountain Railroad, which sealed the deal that I will never go on another roller coaster in my life.  I feel like I need a chiropractic adjustment and a day of rest.  We are going on a Duffy boat ride in the harbor tonight and then heading home tomorrow.  It has been extremely hot and humid this week but overall it has been a blast.

A Fun But Emotional Week

This week has flown by just like the others lately.  I visited my sister in the hospital after her knee replacement, went to three of Tristyn's volleyball games and was with her and her parents when she received her patriarchal blessing. It's been a busy and emotional week. I know I'm getting old because my grandchildren are going to be going away to college and someday, hopefully not too soon, I will be a great-grandma.  Ugg! Tomorrow I will be leaving to go with Candi, B.J. and the boys to California for a week.  I usually go with them in the summer but because Candi and I both had surgery, they invited me to go with them now. I plan to relax on the beach, celebrate B.J.'s birthday and go Trick or Treating with Mickey Mouse at Disneyland.  I have woken up a couple of mornings  in tears, worrying about whether I should go or not. I had such a hard time with homesickness while visiting Montana this summer that I'm almost afraid to leave home again. The good thing is that it's not too far away and I have an exit strategy this time. Sometimes I feel guilty leaving Rich here alone, but he will be working his fifteen hours a day six days a week anyway, and I don't think he felt bad at all leaving me for ten days when he went to Italy this summer. I'm kind of a tit for tat person. While listening to Conference last weekend I've decided to try and make some changes. Sometimes I have trouble with my mouth and say a few cuss words.  I am going to try really hard to clean up my language as suggested by one of the speakers.  I also am trying to do better with not judging others and trying to see them the way the Savior does. At times that is really hard for me as I wonder why people are the way they are. I know I'm far from perfect but it's hard sometimes for me to just accept people the way they are. Candi called me last week while she was turning her hair pink. I know she is a hairdresser and the big thing it to change hair colors all the time. I know I'm an old fuddy duddy but the thought of walking around California with cotton candy colored hair is a little bit embarrassing for me. Anyway, it is California and I'm sure there will be some weird looking folks over there too, we will fit right in.

Mell's Knee Replacement and Angel Mother

I just got home from the hospital visiting my sister who had knee replacement surgery yesterday morning. My nephew's wife Victoria picked up Mom in Scottsdale, came by to get me and we went to see Mell. She looks better than I thought she would and seemed to be feeling okay, probably with help from the painkillers they have been giving her. We stayed for a while, helped her wash her face,  brush her teeth and when some other family came we left and went to lunch. The only time I'm sure Mom eats is when she is with one of us kids. I wish I never had an appetite and could starve myself, it would be way easier to fit into my clothes. Unfortunately, I got my Dad's genes of always being hungry and enjoying a good meal.  As I looked at my sister in her chair with her pale skin and glasses on she reminded me so much of my Dad.  When I mentioned it to Mom how much she resembles him, she agreed.  I really enjoyed listening to Conference this weekend. I took notes the first day and had two pages of things I wanted to remember. There were several talks that made me cry, especially Elder Holland's talking about mothers.  I don't think many moms feel they are doing everything right and I know the feeling of being "not good enough" has lived in my brain for many years. I do think most mothers really do try and do the best they can and that should be good enough. I know I was blessed with an angel mother and will forever be grateful for her. Almost every time I talk to her about my worries and trials she always says, "things will work out." Someday she will join Dad in Heaven and I will sure miss her encouraging words, so I will just enjoy everyday she stays here with us.

More Games and Conference

I've spent the last week going to volleyball games of my grandchildren. It gives me a change of pace and out of the house. Last week we played Mesa High where my cousins children have all gone. It was fun to have them come to Highland and they even picked up my Mom.  On Tuesday we played Queen Creek so Jen brought her seven kids and we watched Tayler play.  This is Tristyn's senior year so this is her last season unless she decides to play in college. Rich is leaving for Utah in the morning to go to his missionary reunion. He was suppose to leave this morning but he needed to stay and work today.  I'm excited to stay home and listen to Conference. I'm hoping to get some inspiration to some of my concerns, we will see if that happens for me. 

Missing My Dad

I was in my sewing room working on a little project when Trulie came in from pre-school and wanted to go swimming.  I gave her all the excuses I could think of why we couldn't get in the pool, until I finally just gave up and took her out. I was surprised at how refreshing it was even though I lose my desire to swim when Fall comes.  Yesterday I had a rough day mood wise.  This is the first year I haven't had fresh squash, pumpkins, tomatoes and corn stalks from the White Mountains. I was missing my Dad and the longer the day went on, the sadder I got. I know my Mom is struggling being alone but doesn't want to leave her home and the memories she has there. I totally understand that after spending almost three weeks in Montana. There is no place like home and I know that is where all her memories are. She has lost her courage when it comes to driving and going places she used to go when Dad was there waiting for her. She is coming over tonight to watch the girls play volleyball, so that will be fun for her. Rich is going up to Utah next week for his missionary reunion and the next week I'm going to the beach with Candi and B.J. and the boys.  I have been really excited about this trip for a few weeks since they invited me. They have some fun things planned like going to Disneyland for the Trick or Treat with Mickey.  I don't really like Disneyland and I wonder how I'll do getting around but hopefully I can make it through it. I love watching the waves and feeling the cool breeze on my face at the beach, so I'm looking forward to that.

Ballgames and Fabulous Friday

When I was a kid it seemed like forever between Christmas and my birthday but as I get into the senior citizen category time seems to be speeding up. This week has gone by so fast I can't believe it. It seems like the days just speed along with Rich getting up at 4:00 a.m. and hasn't been getting home until late in the evening. If I didn't have my kids and grand kids around I would be alone 95% of the time. It's fun that the kids are playing sports because is breaks up the days and gives me something to do. I'm also working on a couple of sewing projects and helping with Fabulous Friday tonight. Our ward seems to like it better on Friday night instead of all day Saturday, so it will be nice when it's all over tonight.  We have some yummy food planned and really fun projects to work on. Mindi and I were going to try and make some painted Kerr jars but couldn't get the paint to look good, so we gave up. Tristyn has a volleyball tournament today and tomorrow so it's a good thing the painted jars didn't work out. The weather is finally cooling off a little bit. We should be under 100 degrees in a couple of weeks and then instead of exercising in the pool I will be able to start riding my bike. It's been really hard because I've gained a few pounds since my Dad passed away in January. I know I'm an emotional eater and feel the void with may favorite treats. I have to just be glad I didn't get into the drug, alcohol and tobacco because I would hate to try and battle those demons. I know everyone has things about themselves they struggle with, I'm just really tired of the fight with food. I hope when I get to the other side I will be able to overcome that trial and be at peace with myself.

Freeway Shooter Really?

I'm always glad to get to the end of the week and have a day of rest coming.  Even though Sundays aren't really restful it's still nice to have the guys home from work.  On Wednesday Mindi and I had it all planned out.  We would drop Trulie off at preschool, take Dave to pick up his car at the dealer, get to the grocery store to pick up stuff to make food for the football team and be home in time to pick Trulie up. As we got to the store and started shopping, Dave called to say he was stranded on the freeway with his car overheating.  We grabbed a few containers of water and some things we had in our cart and left in a hurry. He was about twenty minutes away in the HOV lane where two freeways meet.  As we got closer, there were signs telling us that there was shootings on the freeway and we needed to report any suspicious activity.  It was so scary sitting in the car with traffic passing us at least 70 miles per hour and wondering if someone was going to start shooting at us.  It all worked out okay and we found someone to pick Trulie up for us and we got our groceries and got home safely.  Dave only got a few more miles down the road before his car died but he got some other guys to go help him.  Whew!  While I was telling Rich how scary it is to think there is someone shooting at people on the freeway, he acted like it was no big deal. He just doesn't worry about stuff like that and he's usually right.  So far no one has been killed but I still wonder what kind of a person would just randomly shoot at cars on the freeway? The world is getting crazier by the minute and I don't see it getting better in the near future. 

Let The Games Begin

Sometimes it feels like "Groundhog Day" around here but at least we have been under a hundred degrees for a few days.  This week was busy with volleyball, football, and shopping.  Tristyn had her first game on Monday night and Trace his first football game on Wednesday.  I'm hoping to make it to the Larsen girls' games when they play closer to home. This week as I was at the grocery store I bought some sweet corn to cook for Sunday dinner. This is the first summer I haven't had fresh squash and corn from the garden my Dad and Mom would grow in the White Mountains. It's funny how your brain pulls up memories that remind you of someone who has passed away. I do that a lot with Kamber too, where I will see something that reminds me of her. Last week a friend came over for lunch.  She is a single lady that takes care of her Mom who is losing her memory. I know it is so stressful for her and as we talked I was grateful that my Mom is still doing well and is able to take care of herself. Sometimes she seems a little bit confused and tells me the same thing about ten times, but I'm just thankful to still have her to talk to. It's tough getting older and becoming one of the senior citizens of the world. My friend said something that I had been thinking all week and that is after our parents are gone, it will be us next in line to cross over. That's a little bit scary but I sure hope to be able to get out of here before I get so useless that my kids have to take care of me. I know Dad was adamant that if he became too sick that he needed major care, he wanted to leave, and he did. The other side has to be better than what's going on now doesn't it?

Heatwave Continues

I didn't realize how hard it would be to get back to the hot weather. It seems like the older I get the harder the summer temps are to deal with.  I hate to complain because I know many people are forced to work in the heat, so I will stop talking about how much I hate it. This week I had blood work done, a doctors appointment for my hand and went to lunch way too much. When I decided to go to Montana I really didn't think it through enough.  I was desperate for a change and thought it would be fun to be in a new location with family I love. I wasn't prepared for the emotional part of going away from home and it brought up lots of feelings I had as a child. I remembered a time when my Mom was really sick and hospitalized.  My Dad couldn't take care of all four of us so they sent Lennie and I up to stay with our grandparents in Eagar, Arizona.  I remember how alone and sad I felt as we were with these relative strangers who really weren't too "warm and fuzzy" towards us. I don't even remember how many days or weeks we were there. I think one day I got word they were coming back to get us and I was so excited to pack my suitcase. I remember standing by the door, waiting for someone, anyone to come rescue us. I think it was late in the afternoon when my Grandmother broke the news that they weren't going to come that day. I think I cried the whole rest of the day. I had those same feelings in Montana, even though I was with family who treated me great, I still had that longing for home. It always amazes me that a lot of my sadness and anxiety come from experiences I had as a child. When I would call home my family here would tell me to enjoy the cooler weather in Montana because it was hotter than Hell down here. It didn't matter how nice the weather was, I was homesick for the desert, my home, my pool and my family here. I've often wondered since Dad passed away in January if he felt like I did pulling in to Phoenix after being in Montana for almost three weeks. Did he feel joy to see his family who had already gone to the other side? Did he feel guilt or sadness that he left all of us, especially Mom alone? She has often asked me what I think Dad is doing in Heaven.  I would like to think that he still watches over us and hopes we are doing well. Boy how I wish I had just a few more days to be with him, but I'm happy he's not suffering anymore.

Cathing Up

I swear it's taken me a week to finally get caught up. I finally finished ironing all of Rich's shirts, both work and church and put the ironing board down yesterday. I've also caught up on my sleep. I didn't realize how much a trip like that would take out of this senior citizen.  I knew Montana was a long way away. I knew it was almost 1400 miles from my house in Gilbert. I just didn't know really how FAR that is away, but now I do.  I went this morning and got my B-12 shot that I missed while away, so hopefully I will be able to get some energy so I can get more accomplished around here. We are going to take the puppies to the vet this afternoon and get their shots and check-ups so we can sell them this weekend. Poor Mindi has been so overwhelmed with two litters of puppies but after this weekend she can hopefully sleep in. Last night I went with two other friends to take dinner in to a friend who's mother passed away last Saturday.  She looked so tired and I could relate to her because of losing Dad last January.  When I came home I was talking to Rich about my feelings. It's really hard getting older and seeing your parents health decline. It's so hard to say goodbye to them but are so happy when they are out of pain and suffering.  I'm so grateful to have had my parents for as long as I have and know that our relationships will continue on through the eternities.

"There's No Place Like Home"

Three weeks ago I left in a huge U- Haul with my son-in-law, Dave to deliver cabinets and granite to a job Ethan was doing in Billings, Montana.  Spencer and his family decided to move up there and wanted me to come visit, so I took the opportunity to hitch a ride. They didn't know I was coming so it was a surprise for them. I knew it was really far away but didn't realize just how far. It took us 29 hours to get that heavy load of materials up the mountains. Montana is beautiful and I spent lots of time in the car seeing Mt. Rushmore, Top of the World, Red Lodge and Big Timber where they spent the day fishing and swimming in the Yellowstone River.  I did pretty good for a while until my homesickness moved in and I needed to get home.  I was going to catch a ride home with Ethan when he finished the job but it seemed like everyday the timeline would change, until I lost hope of ever getting home.  So on Tues. night Dave flew up to Billings and I rented a car and spent two more days  coming home, which only took 21 hours.  We decided to come home a different way than we went up.  We came down through West Yellowstone and then through Idaho, Richfield, Utah, Kanab, Flagstaff and then finally home.  I was warned by my kids that it was really hot and after spending three weeks in the cooler weather, it was hard to hit the heat but it was so nice to get home to my own bed and the mountains of laundry, ironing and chores that needed to be done. I am so proud of myself for doing something so out of character for me. I learned a lot about myself and hopefully gained more gratitude for my husband and his hard work to provide for me. Sometimes I take for granted all that I've been blessed with but when I got away and had lots of time to think and ponder my life I gained a new perspective. It was so fun to spend some time with the Montana Larsen family and the grand kids are so sweet and cute, but there really is no place like home, even if it is 117 degrees outside.

Birthday, Top of the World and The Temple

We got home from Mt Rushmore on Friday and on Saturday it was Gunnar's seventh birthday. He was born a month early on the day we buried Kamber, so I was an emotional mess.  While we were eating breakfast Annie was explaining how special he is to our family and that he and Kamber probably passed each other in Heaven. By Sunday I was so homesick I cried most of the day. Ethan, who is also working up here picked me up and let me have my sobbing fest. We Face Timed home and I was able to talk to Rich and my Mom who were having dinner at Len and Julie's.  I also talked to Dave and Mindi about planning my trip home. That's still up in the air since Ethan came into some trouble with the stain for the doors and windows. Yesterday Spencer decided to take me to Red Lodge and the Top of the World. It was about an hour drive going towards Wyoming but the mountains were breathtaking and there was still snow on the top of the mountains. We got almost to the top but we were afraid we would run out of gas so we coasted down the mountain, got gas and ice cream before coming home.  Today is Annie's Grandpas ninety-third birthday so his son took him to the Temple. Spencer is busy with work, so she wanted me to go.  It's my kind of Temple, small and beautiful. I'm so thankful I got my courage up and went, there is a special feeling you have when you go through a session. I can see why Spencer wants to live in Montana, it is truly beautiful but I'll be glad to get home.  

Road Trip To Montana

One week ago I decided to come to Montana to visit Spencer and his family in Billings. My son-in-law Dave was driving a U Haul with a load of cabinets and granite for a job my son Ethan is doing here. After a couple of emotional breakdowns and a few near miss accidents we made it.  We were traveling through Utah on Pioneer Day and we talked about how hard it was going up those mountains sometimes not getting over 35 miles an hour. When we pulled in to Salt Lake the skies were lit up with fireworks everywhere.  I have never seen so many fireworks. It took us fifteen hours to make it to SLC and then another fourteen to get through Idaho and to Billings. As we were on the road all day Saturday I had lots of time to think about Kamber, as it was the seventh anniversary of her death.  Spencer didn't know I was coming so he acted excited.  I've had so much fun seeing the sights and doing some shopping. We left on Thursday to go to Mt Rushmore. Wow! What an amazing experience. The sacrifice that was made by those men is amazing. We spent the night in Rapid City, South Dakota and after touring Bear Country we headed back to Billings. I'm not going to want to go on another road trip for a long time.  Now I'm just waiting for a ride home or get my nerve up to fly. For now I'm just enjoying the cooler weather and the grand kids.  

Stitches Out

I was so happy yesterday when I went to the surgeon and they took the stitches out of my hand. By Monday night it was hurting so bad I was almost in tears. The stitches were pulled so tight it was causing me some extreme pain.  I haven't felt the same since I had surgery. I feel kind of goofy in the head and my sleeping is different. I'm dreaming really hard and remembering my dreams.  The first night after surgery I was awake  most of the night. Something happens in my brain when I go under sedation that messes with my sleep patterns. As I was lying in bed thinking, it dawned on me that I have been in a very dark place since Kamber drowned. I took an inventory of the other adversities I've had in the last seven years and it's no wonder I've been depressed. How many times do you get kicked in the head before you start giving up and becoming hopeless? I was talking to someone close to me about all my challenges and he said, "You can't do anything about these trials, they are in the past and they are gone.  Let's get you excited about something, try and get you to look forward not backwards." I felt truth for the first time in a while. I can't do anything about the challenges I was given but maybe learn from them and be thankful for my blessings. It is always so much easier for me to see the bad things going on in my life than realize how blessed I am. My life has been full of ups and downs just like everyone else and I Hope to be able to start looking onward and upward because living in the past in not really living.

Moving Along With Healing

It's already Friday so I only have four days until the stitches come out of my hand.  It's been amazing to see how hard it is to get things done with one hand.  I have been so sick and tired of laying in bed, that when I woke up this morning at 5 a.m. I decided to try and do a little bit of exercising, made my bed, threw in some laundry, unloaded the dishwasher and even ironed a few of Rich's shirts. I want to go in my sewing room and try to work on a quilt but instead we are going to the grocery store. We are suppose to get rain all weekend due to a hurricane in Mexico so we want to get our shopping done before the storms hit.  I hate the way I feel after having surgery.  My brain doesn't feel right and it's hard for me to sleep.  I've also noticed that food doesn't taste good to me right now so I hope things will get back to normal soon, I hate feeling weird. I do hope the pain and numbness will go away and I will have some relief from the pinched nerve, if not I'm going to be one sad person.  Now I'm trying to figure a way to get to Montana to see Spencer and his family before the end of summer but it kind of looks like I'm running out of time. Before we know it school will start and we will get busy with life and then my opportunity to go out of time will be over. Oh well I guess there is always next year.

Surgery Is Behind Me

On Saturday we re-homed some more of our critters. After talking to a friend of mine who is licensed with the AZ Fish and Game, she suggested I give them to a rescue instead of sell them to someone that might eat them. The nicest girl came and got the 4 ducks, 2 turkeys and a large tortoise. We are feeling good about simplifying our lives.
Yesterday morning my sister took me to the hospital where I had surgery on my hand. In the waiting room there was a man waiting to have hip surgery. He has had lots of challenges having vocal chord surgery 3 weeks ago, 2 or 3 knee surgeries and his hip. He was all alone and after a two day stay in a hospital he will then go to a care facility until he is able to take care of himself. He had the best attitude and was just thankful to live in this country. He had been in the military where he had played football and basketball and was a proud veteran. As I listened to him it made me wish that I was more like him with an optimistic attitude about life. My surgery went well and it is good to be home where I have a support system and friends and family that came to visit and even brought treats. My visiting teacher is bringing dinner tonight which is so appreciated because I only got about 2 hours of sleep dealing with a bad headache and trying to keep my arm elevated. I'm so glad to have this behind me and now I am trying to figure out how to get to Montana to see Spencer and his family. I am still weighing out all of my options like when to go and how to get there. I need to feel good about my decision and I believe I will receive inspiration what is in my best interest.

Thinning the Herd To Get Away

Last Friday Mindi and her family decided to go to California and meet up with Candi and her family to spend the 4th of July on the beach.  I have to say I was extremely sad as they drove away and I knew I was in charge of feeding and taking care of all the critters alone. We have two litters of puppies right now and with the temps over 100 degrees that means everything except the farm animals are in the house. I did have a friend come over a couple of times to help me but I was super stressed out the whole weekend. As I talked to someone I love and trust about my situation, he gave me some advice.  "Get rid of as many animals as you can and do something different. Get away for awhile and take a time out." So for the last three days I have been placing some of my animals. My sister took one of my dogs to replace one of hers that passed away a couple of months ago. A lady in my ward came and took some of my fish out of my pond and the baby turtles in my laundry room.  Then last night I delivered my cockatiels to a girl who rescues exotic birds.  I've been on the phone this morning trying to find a home for the ducks and Mindi has some people who want our giant tortoises.  It has been hard on me emotionally to part with my critters because they are my friends and I love them, but they do tie me down to my home and make it almost impossible to leave. I'm also missing my Dad and my trip to the White Mountains to eat fresh vegetables out of the garden he loved to plant. Sometimes the pain is so great when my mind turns to Kamber and my Dad who have already gone home to heaven. July is also the month Kamber was taken from us, so that's another struggle. I know I don't have the corner on problems and sadness. My cousin was in a motorcycle accident two weeks ago and has been in a coma in the hospital and another cousin in California has just been diagnosed with  Alzheimer's at the age of sixty, which is extremely sad for her family. Hopefully my decision to rehome some of my animals will make it easier to get away. Spencer wants me to go to Montana for a month as soon as I can. He is taking one of the puppies from my golden retriever litter, so maybe it will work out to take the dog to him and get out of the heat. Now that's something to look forward to.

Sweating and Quilting

This is the part of the summer that really gets me down.  It seems like most people are out of town with their families for the 4th of July but because of our situation, I'm stuck here taking care of animals, trying to make sure they don't die from the heat. I have three air conditioners going and it seems like my house still doesn't get below 79 or 80 degrees.  I feel guilty even saying anything about the heat because I know there are those who work outside in it all day long. I couldn't do it, never. Rich has been getting up at 3:30 a.m. the last week and when his alarm went off in bed this morning, I realized I need to find a different place to sleep. Rich does okay on five hours of sleep but it just makes me a crazy person, so I have another problem to solve. Tomorrow is Trulie's birthday so I've been working on a quilt for her.  I finally finished it this morning so now I can start on another project, something that is inside for sure.