"I Think I Can Do Hard Things"

For the last couple of weeks I have tried to feel good about having a $40,000 hip replacement surgery. Unfortunately, all I have gotten is a "stupor of thought" and so I've found a doctor who uses a medication that will help with the pain. I have gotten some good relief but also have had a few side effects that are normal, but annoying. The worst has been the inability to sleep. In the last three days I have only been able to sleep around 12 hours. They have adjusted the medication and hopefully things will get better. I woke up at 2:00 a.m. this morning and my mind was racing. How am I going to get the animals fed and to church by 9:00? How am I going to afford my medical bills? Will Spencer be okay playing in the first game of the season? Before I knew it Rich was up getting ready for 6:00 a.m. Priesthood Mtg., he then had to give a talk at 8:00 a.m. I truly don't know how he does it, I guess he has some supernatural powers because he never stops. He was also sick all week with a bad sore throat and cold. He makes me tired just being married to him. It stresses me out, but I understand that he likes doing hard things.
I, on the other hand, would enjoy an easier life. I wish my life was all butterflies, rainbows and lots of chocolate but unfortunately that isn't the case. In Rich's preparation for his talk this week he read lots of talks on "Patience".Pres. Uchtdorf defines patience as the ability to put our desires on hold for a time, a precious and rare virtue. We want what we want, and we want it now, "patience is bitter, but the fruit is sweet." As I was lying awake during the night I was thinking about all the trials I have had in my life. As I get older I look back at some of the really hard things I have gone through and wonder how did I do it? If you would have told me that I would have my thyroid radiated twice. Deliver four children without any pain relief. Have a miscarriage, my gall bladder removed, my knee operated on and my ear cut off and sewn back on all within a few months I think I would have given up back then. We are asked to walk through this life having faith that our Heavenly Father is watching over us and helping us as we go through the trials that come our way. Losing Kamber was the biggest blow for me in my life. I still have a hard time wrapping my brain around the death of an innocent child, but I am trying my hardest to accept the tribulations the Lord asks me to endure. In Mosiah 23:21 it tells us that "one is not only to endure, but to endure well and gracefully those things which the Lord "seeth fit to inflict upon us." That is my prayer for me in my life right now.