Trying to Find Happiness

It was nice to wake up this morning and see the clouds, thunder and rain. This summer has been a really hard one for me. It seems like the older I get the hotter the summers feel. I used to be a sun worshipper but now I hate the sun and the oppressive heat that goes along with it. Every summer I say, "next summer I'm going away," but that never seems to happen. The problem with having a big house on two acres of land and animals is it is sooooo hard to leave. There is always something to water, feed or try and keep alive. It also seems like as you age things don't seem that important anymore. I got a call on Thursday that a person very dear to my family had passed away. He was my Bishop when I was growing up and in the Stake Presidency when I got married. He gave me my first temple recommend in 1976. He was a darling man who had been taking care of his wife who has been really ill. It's hard when you lose someone close to you because when others pass away you know how the family is feeling. You can relate to them. It seems like lately there are lots of families going through really hard trials and many family members called home. It's hard to not get discouraged when you watch the news and the economy is so bad and people are losing their jobs and homes. I was reading my little book,"You Can be Happy No Matter What," this morning and he says that "happiness is a state of mind, not a set of circumstances." I guess I won't ever be happy because it's hard to get my mind right. Abraham Lincoln said, "People are just about happy as they make up their minds to be." I have a feeling it's going to be a long hard life for me. I need to find a way to make my mind up to be happy. I guess I'm just not trying hard enough.