The Will of the Savior

My mind has been spinning since last week when Dad was put in the hospital. Yesterday Tristyn played in a volleyball tournament at ASU, so I went to support her and then we went to the hospital to see Dad. When we got there he had several other visitors from his ward and my brother Len, his wife Julie and my niece Aubrey. After everyone left, Mindi and I tried to talk to him to see if we could help him out. He looks swollen and when you ask him how he feels all he says is "awful." The doctors have been busy trying to find out what is wrong with him. Less than two weeks ago he was at my house playing Rook and eating Mexican food and now he's in a hospital bed feeling rotten. We have known Dad is on borrowed time since 2001 when he was diagnosed with prostate cancer. Without treatment they said he would only live 12 to 18 months, so the fact he has liven this long is a tender mercy for sure. Last night when I couldn't sleep, I was going through all the scenarios of what is going to happen. How can we make room for Mom to come live with us if things don't go well and Dad never comes home from the hospital? I hate this feeling of being between the proverbial "rock and a hard place." I don't want him to suffer and prolong his life when the quality is so bad, but the thought of losing him for the rest of my life hurts, and takes me down that long dark road when we lost Kamber. I do have a testimony of the Savior and know he knows of our concerns and worries. As I talked to Mom on the phone last night, she is so full of faith. She thinks he will get better and come home, but she also knows we aren't in charge and she said, "if the Savior wants him home, then I know the will of God has been done."