"I'm Lonely"

Every Tuesday and Wednesday nights my Mom works at the Mesa Temple. While she's gone my Dad sits in a dark house either reading a book or watching sports on the television. Last week when I called him I said, "Hi Dad how are you doing?" His answer was, "I'm lonely."  I felt so bad for him but at 85 years-old I think he's lucky to still be upright and taking nourishment. I have to admit that the first couple of days Rich was gone it was fun. No cooking, no laundry, or cleaning. I just enjoyed the peace and quiet and worked on my quilt I was asked to make for the Young Women's Auction this week. I was telling Mindi that even if Rich is in town he is never really home. He's always been busy running his business and doing church work. It's different when I know there isn't any way to get a hold of him. There is no telephone, just an email telling me what he did during the day. He says it is primitive and he wishes he could take all the grand kids to see how good they have it, but I don't ever see that happening. Ethiopia is a long, long ways away, I don't see him going back, but never say never. I have come a long way in the last few years. I used to not be able to stay in my room alone at night. I would lay awake all night listening to all the sounds and tell myself scary stories. I can honestly say I'm not awake because of anxiety, I just can't sleep. Maybe it's hormones, maybe it's a sleep disorder, but just maybe "I'm just lonely." I'm trying to stay positive and not get myself into a full fledge depression because I have lots of shopping and sewing to do this week and I'm not going to stay in a dark house being sad. Besides, next week he will be back and even though he is back he will be too busy catching up to spend anytime at home anyways. So I'm going to really try and enjoy my nice quiet peaceful life and maybe even go and watch a little television with my Dad.