Shopping and Praying

I am proud to say that I made it through another week. After being sick for most of February, I'm looking forward to a healthy March, my fingers are crossed. I spent a few hours yesterday with my sister shopping the sales at the Mall. Sometimes I feel like I spend money I don't have, on things I don't really need, but it was still fun. I'm so thankful to have a sister. When we were young I thought she was weird because she was really smart and played the piano and organ. She still listens to the oldies but goodies music and we are different in so many ways. As we were shopping I told her how nice it was to have a sister to do things with. She is always willing to help whenever she is needed. I think that comes with being the oldest child in the family. As we were leaving the store I told her I would rather have a colonoscopy than shop with the two year old I'm usually with. We laughed, but this morning I found myself walking the halls of Walmart with that same two year old. On the way home as she was screaming that she needed her chocolate milk, I wanted to jump out of the car. My patience runs really thin now that I'm sixty. Anyway, this weekend is a big one for us in Gilbert. My grandchildren are in the Cultural Celebration and Dave is over building the set for the performance tomorrow night. Rich spent two hours last night setting up chairs in the Temple for the Dedication. We are praying this storm goes up north because right now they are predicting over an inch of rain tonight with thunderstorms tomorrow and temperatures in the 60's. It hasn't rained here for over seventy days and now we have a major winter storm coming through, just in time for all the hoopla. It's going to be an interesting weekend and I'm thankful to be able to watch this Temple be Dedicated, President Monson and Eyring will be here. It's going to be a special experience for all of us here in the desert, even with the storms we can't complain because we are in a severe drought right now, so I'm anxious to see how this all unfolds, it's exciting times here.

"It's Just An Animal Anyway, Right"

Last night was one of those rough nights where you dream and are awake most of the night solving the days problems. Yesterday afternoon our neighbor's horse became extremely sick and had to be put down by the vet. The front of our house faces their pasture and stable where the horses are kept. I watched as the vet worked on the horse and finally they covered him up with a green tarp, it was over. About an hour later a very sweet, kind lady pulled in and asked if she could use our driveway to back into their yard to pick this horse up to take him to Florence to be buried. I worried about her all night wondering what I could do or say that would ease her pain. I've had many animals that have had to be put to sleep because of old age or disease but horses are different. They are huge, majestic animals, but I have to admit really scary to me. Anyway, this morning I had the opportunity to visit with her and tell her how sorry I was for her loss. She said that after having a good cry and going to bed early she was doing better today, "it's just an animal anyway right?" No one loves animals more than I do and my heart aches when I see the suffering of God's creatures. As she got ready to leave she was holding her two-year old grandson, Leo. She said, "I don't know how you did it losing a grandchild." I looked at her little grandson and said, "can you imagine if something happened to him?" She shook her head and said, "No, I wouldn't be able to go on." I then had the opportunity to tell her my experience of loss, what happened that day. How I felt the spirit tell me that Kamber was gone and that I heard someone tell me, "why not you?" when I was asking why this was happening to me. It's been almost six years and I can still feel the emotion of that dreadful day. But my testimony is strong and I have faith that Kamber is in heaven doing what she was meant to do and will be there the day I leave this earth. That's all I have and hopefully I can sleep tonight.

Before and After Temple Pictures

Three and a half years ago when they announced that we would be having a Temple built here in Gilbert we were so excited. Our Stake President asked that each family go to the alfalfa field where the Temple would be built and take a family picture wearing white shirts. Two of our daughters-in-law were pregnant due that summer. We had already planned on taking a picture yesterday because Spencer and his family are leaving tomorrow to go back to Boston. Yesterday during Ward Conference the same Stake President encouraged us to go back to that alfalfa field and recreate that picture taken before the Temple was built to see if our faith has been increased. We didn't have a professional photographer available so we just had a friend come take some shots hoping that maybe just one of them would be okay. When we showed up, there was quite a crowd but we waited our turn. It's not that easy herding ten adults and sixteen children around an area hoping they will behave. We took quite a few in front of the planter full of flowers. Some of the grand kids can't be seen because of a big fat flower in their faces. We then moved up to the front gate because there was a guy sitting not letting anyone on the actual Temple grounds and some of them are okay. That's what you get when you don't go professional, but I'm just thankful that everyone came and supported their dear old Mother with all of us together. I don't know how long it will be before we will be together again, but I'm so thankful for my family. We added five new grandchildren during that three and a half years, I think my kids are almost finished, but we love them all and miss Angel Kamber everytime we get together.

First Day Out of My Sick Bed

Yesterday was the first day this week I was able to get out of my sick bed and do something fun. Mindi's 37th birthday was on the 19th so we decided to go to Sassy's Bakery for lunch. Candi and B.J., Annie and Spencer and Mindi and I enjoyed a wonderful lunch there. The "red hat" ladies were there so we fit right in. The girls come to your table and sing "Happy Birthday" and they sound like professional singers, it was worth it just going to hear them sing. After lunch Spencer treated us girls to a spa pedicure and manicure. It was fun to sit and relax and laugh a little bit while someone worked on my poor feet that suffer the affects of walking bare footed in the pasture feeding animals. This was the first time I had a little Asian guy scrub my feet and polish my toes, but I'm an old lady so he should understand. It has been so much fun having Spencer and his little family here to visit. I'm already sad with the idea that they will be heading back to Boston on Tuesday. Even their little kids are praying they can stay, so is Grandma. Hopefully next week I can get back to normal and feel well enough to get everything done that I need and want to do.  Life's to short to spend it in bed sick.

Tired of Being Sick

I know sometimes I get in the dumps and murmur about my life being Groundhog Day everyday. I spent the three day Holiday weekend in bed. I tried a few times to get up and be productive but ended up back in bed. I don't know what I've picked up but it has definitely kicked my butt. Yesterday my sister-in-law brought my kitchen chandelier back that they used inside the hospitality tent at the Temple Open House. She took one look at me and knew I was sick. I guess they have been running a hospital wing at their house all week with sick people too. After listening to my coughing and wheezing she told me I needed an inhaler. The problem with some of those drugs is that they make me have anxiety and panic attacks, so I hate to use them. Mindi has a breathing machine that she uses for the kids and had some medicine, so I started using it. I'm so much better today, better than dying, but I still don't feel right. I am thankful I was able to take a shower, even put a bra on, get dressed and started digging out. Last night as I went to bed I told Rich that everywhere I look there is something that needs to be done. My poor Dad who is battling prostate cancer is also fighting this bug. I hope he will get well soon. I have been sick the whole time Spencer and his family have been here. Hopefully we will have a few days where I can go do something fun with them before they go back to Boston. We also have three birthdays this week. I'm going to really try hard to not complain about my boring, uneventful life. I just want to feel good. I want to get in my sewing room and finish some of my quilts. I have my fingers crossed that the worst is behind me and pray for the Groundhog Days to begin again.

Fold Like a Warm Tortilla

What the *%$#! I told Rich last night I'm just about done. Three weeks ago I had oral surgery to take out a bad tooth. Then last week I had the flu, was in bed with fever and chilling. Then this whole week I've been fighting something that I think Miss Trulie passed along to me, coughing, headache and shortness of breath. It's been unusually warm this winter with temperatures up to 90 degrees today, so why is everyone sick? Anyway, enough of a rant for now because Rich is blaming me for giving him this virus, but he could have gotten it anywhere. Right? Yesterday as Mindi and I were running errands I could tell she was really discouraged. Nothing like having five kids and Valentine's Day to make you overwhelmed. As we were talking I could tell she is under a tremendous amount of stress, some of it she brings on herself, just like all of us, and some just because we are living on this earth at this time. I finally told her that even though we have so many blessings it is hard to keep things in to perspective and just enjoy the struggles of everyday. I have enjoyed watching some of the Olympics while lying in bed sick. I have never been on skis before and my ice skating experience ended when I did a belly flop on the ice in front of all the kids at Mutual. I really admire those athletes who train for years and years to perfect their skills and compete in the Olympics. Some excel under the stress and pressure while others seem to fold up like a warm tortilla. I think life is a little bit like the Olympics, we either hang in there and deal with the stress, or we crumble and fall, which unfortunately I do most of the time. All I want is to feel good, is that too much to ask?

Temple Tour and Kamber's Birthday

We had a wonderful weekend. It started out with a visit to the new Gilbert Temple. Then last night we all went out to Ethan and Jenn's new home and had a cook-out celebrating Kamber's birthday today. It was the first time all my kids and grand kids have been together for a long time. I had my handy dandy camera and took some really fun pictures. There were pictures of the kids and the adults and even the birthday cakes. This morning when I woke up I was so excited to put them on the computer and blog about them. When I opened up the camera it was empty. I never put the card back in the camera, so no pictures. After a good cry, I realized that it isn't the end of the world. No one died did they? Yesterday in Relief Society the lesson was on the Plan of Salvation. The teacher asked if anyone had ever had someone pass away and were so sad, but then realized that we would see them again? There was no way I was going to share my experience of the last five years. Yes, I do know that I will see Kamber again, and my other loved ones on the other side, but that doesn't make it any easier. I went to the cemetery with Jenn and the kids to visit Kamber's grave and put some decorations on. It's a peaceful place, it's not as sad as it used to be. I'm thankful for all that I've learned from her death. As I went through the Temple my testimony was made stronger of the blessings of being sealed together as families, and I can't wait to see her again.

In Bed All Day With The Flu

Last week when I was having oral surgery the Doctor was worried when my blood pressure was 195/110. I never have had high blood pressure before, except one time at the end of a pregnancy. So yesterday when my heart started pounding really hard and fast I thought maybe I was having a stroke. I went in to the bedroom and took my blood pressure which was 124/54. Before long I was freezing, so I put a coat on, bundlled up in a quilt and put the heating pad on my feet. After feeling totally normal earlier, I was in bed with the flu. What a helpless feeling to be lying in bed shivering with a pounding headache and burning up with a fever. Mindi put some essentials oils on my feet, then some socks, made me some chicken noodle soup and there I was, in bed all day. I don't know what I would have done without her to feed the animals and help me. When Rich came home I was feeling a little bit better, had him and Dave give me a blessing and then took a hot bath. When I woke up this morning I have never been so happy to get out of bed. My back was aching from being in bed all day, I swear if I ever get bedridden it will be the end, because I will go crazy. Anyway, I'm thankful for my body that can fight off infections or whatever comes my way. I was praying all day yesterday to get better so I can go to the Temple with Mindi, her family and some friends. We were suppose to go on Monday but my sister-in-law Julie was really sick. I guess there is a nasty bug going around because it seems like everyone's sick. So another week has gone by with all the challenges this mortal life gives us. I guess we need to know sickness to appreciate it when we feel good.

Super Bowl Blowout at the Vet's Office

A friend of ours has tried to help us with a little business that we could do and make a little money. It is hard work and expensive, and now we are wondering if this is the right hobby for us. We have these beautiful English Golden Retriever dogs that we have been trying to breed. The last litter we had was a disaster, as she had to have a C-Section delivery and the puppies needed extra care. Anyway, our female we were trying to breed again started acting sick last week and yesterday we had to take her to the vet for an emergency surgery. He found big bags of infection in her uterus,no puppies and to save her life he took everything out. I spent most of the Super Bowl game listening to it in the waiting room of the vet's office. I was sad to see that the Broncos, who I used to like, didn't even get off the bus yesterday. I don't think I can remember a bigger blowout than that game. When I was talking to my Mom after the operation she just said, "so this is the problem you are having today." Does that mean I have problems everyday? When we got home with our very groggy dog, everyone was watching the ending of the game. I spent all last week finishing Dallas's quilt and I was glad to see they had come over. He was so excited to wrap up in it and hopefully he will use it and love it. Tonight we are going to the Temple for a tour with Lennie and Julie. The rest of the family is going later in the week. This is an exciting time here in Gilbert with the Temple dedication and the kids dancing and singing in the Cultural Celebration. I have so many blessings I'm ashamed to be sad about a dog having surgery, but I am just a human and sometimes there are dissapointments and trials. The sun came up again this morning, just like always and tomorrow Spencer and his family will be on route home. So I need to put on my happy face and look to the future, it has to get better.

It's a Wonderful Life

Another week has come and gone. I had oral surgery on Monday, celebrated Dad's birthday on Wednesday, and now after I get my chores done, I'm heading out to watch Tristyn play in a volleyball tournament. Sometimes when I'm alone and in one of those moods I reflect on my life. As a stupid teenager I had expectations of what life would be for me as an adult. I remember thinking that when I got married it would be so fun to always have a date and someone to tickle my feet. Then when I was pregnant with Mindi I felt like it would be so great to have a little friend around and it would satisfy my craving to nurture. As I have crossed over to being a Senior Citizen I thought life would slow down and I would have time and money to relax, travel and quilt. Wow, life hasn't really been anything like I dreamed of as a kid. Life is full of experiences that sometimes test my ability to cope and look to the future with hope and faith. After watching my parents age, they have continued to do all they can to serve and work. Why would my life be any different? I just opened the mail and there was a letter addressed to me explaining why "Cremation just makes sense because:" and then it gave a bunch of reasons. Now how did I get on the mailing list for these guys? Hopefully I won't need to make any decisions on my final arrangements soon, but you never know. Anyway, after church tomorrow is the Super Bowl and then on Tuesday the Boston Larsen's will be on a flight to see their Gilbert families. I'm excited and hoping I can talk them in to staying for a long time, but somehow I just know they will be happy to go back to Boston. Ugh Life is short and hard and exciting and wonderful and hopefully I'm learning what I need to in this time on earth.