"Forced To Our Knees"

I hate it when I wake up and I know the day is not going to go well for me. I feel "lower than a snake's belly" and spend all day trying to feel better. Usually it's because I didn't get enough sleep, ate too much chocolate, or something or someone has ticked me off. As I have gotten older I'm not that productive. I have all these projects I want to do but lack the energy or ability. I decided to get up early and try to exercise, then went out and started trimming our fifty rose plants. January is the month to cut them back so that in the spring they will bloom and be beautiful. I spent a couple of hours trimming and then, had so much pain in my back I spent almost the rest of the day taking pain relievers and lying on a heating pad. These are the things that send me into that dark abyss of discouragement and depression. So yesterday I pulled out a book titled, "When You Can't Do It Alone Take The Savior's Hand," and started reading. It's written by Brent L. Top and I remember that I bought it because it was about a Mission President, and my brother was going to leave on his mission. Anyway, he talks about how the pressure and stress of his mission literally made him have a breakdown. He says, "what I was experiencing was a breakdown of confidence, a breakdown of hope, and a breakdown of faith." He went on to talk about his panic attacks. depression, anxiety and said, "The pain I experienced was physical, mental, and spiritual." Boy how I can relate to these symptoms as I have suffered for a long time with them. In the book he says, "I am convinced that each of us--if we are faithful and earnestly strive to be true disciples--will be "forced to our knees" at some time in our lives--perhaps many times." So on and on I go trying each day to learn what I need to that will help me get closer to the Savior.