Monday, August 17, 2009

Refiners Fire

I have been thinking a lot lately of something that was told me when Kamber passed away. We were warned that in families where a young child dies the divorce rate is as high as 80%. For the last year that has bothered me. Why at a time of such sadness and stress would parents "call it quits" instead of staying in and fighting for the sake of their family? I can see now why it is so hard to stay together. At times during this year I have thought, Ethan and Jenn are doing so well, why are Rich and I having such a hard time "keeping it together?" I have even thought that maybe it would skip the parents and just move on to the grandparents. Rich and I met on Labor Day weekend in 1975 when he returned from his mission. We had been writing to each other for about a year before we met. He was my brother's missionary companion so I didn't know him before his mission. He was from a small town in Utah and I was a city girl from Scottsdale. We had an instant attraction and were married seven months later. We had our first baby 10 months later in Feb. 1977. Three more children joined our family in June 1979, April 1981, and March of 1984. It has been thirty-three years together and that just blows my mind sometimes. How can two people who are so opposite in so many areas stay together that long without killing each other? I was sitting in church thinking about this yesterday and wondering why would Heavenly Father command us to get married and have children when it is so hard? Then I remembered what a friend of mine said when I asked him the same question. "Because that is the refiners fire." Rich and I are both VERY strong personalities and are passionate about our beliefs. We take our marriage covenants very seriously and would never do anything to jeopardise our membership in the church. As hard as this last year has been, I have a deeper love for him and a yearning to be with him and Kamber on the other side. Being married is hard and raising children is a challenge but I hope and pray it will be worth it on the other side. I wouldn't want to go through this journey with anyone else but who I chose 33 years ago.

1 comment:

The McNeil Family said...

tears roll down my face as I read this... Matt and I have been struggling with our marriage. I felt like i was done here just two wk ago. I read this and look up to you for sharing this., I do want to see kamber again, but if I give up now I wont make it there. But it is so hard!!!