"Creating a New Possibilty"

I spent last weekend on a very long, hard and exhausting adventure attending the Landmark. When I got home Sunday night I was trying to talk to Rich about my experience and the emotions were so raw and I was so extremely tired, I couldn't even think straight. Then Monday morning hit and I was sick. I guess the stress of the week was so bad on my body that I went straight into an illness. I had a sore throat, coughing, sneezing and everything else that goes with a virus. I tried everything I could to get better, but basically spent all week resting and catching up on chores around the house. I was also in a brain fog, trying to process all the information I had been taught over the weekend. The Landmark is a discovery of who we are and what we do in our lives that keep us stuck doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results. I have been stuck for a long time in various "rackets" with members of my family and even myself. The definition of a racket is "a fixed way of being. A persistent complaint." Wow, it sounds like my whole life, complaining about everything from my parents, husband, children and even my genetics. Yesterday the clouds started lifting and I think I have finally started to get physically and mentally better. I have spent so much time fretting about dieting, money, animals, anxiety, and so many other things that I have missed out on a lot of experiences in my life. The whole thing comes down to not living in the past, that's gone, and the future hasn't happened yet, so the only thing we have is this moment right now. And after this moment there is another moment, and on and on. I mainly went to this Forum to get clear on the death of Kamber. Having a grandchild pass away is devastating and I have spent the last five years somewhere no one should be. Her death was tragic, but I know she is where she is suppose to be or Heavenly Father or angels or someone would have pulled her out and saved her. That wasn't meant to be, so now I need to create a "new possibility" that I can find peace and love and acceptance in my life. I know I have a lot more to learn and we never know how much time we have left to learn it. This is a process, trying to change the way you live and think. I'm so thankful for the opportunity I had to do something that will hopefully change me for the better.