Sad 4th of July for Me

A month ago when I was coming home from California I called my Mom as we entered the Phoenix area. While I was gone I had called her everyday to let her know what was going on, but this time it was different. There was excitement in her voice and she said, "I'm so glad you are home, I've missed you." At the time I thought that was a little weird because I was only gone a week and I talked to her almost everyday, but with Mindi and her family gone all this week, I now know why my Mom was so glad I was home. Because I don't drive I only left my house twice. Once when a friend and I went to Hobby Lobby and to lunch. My sister took me with her to JoAnn's the same day and that was fun. Rich and I did go out to see the property that Ethan is looking to move into, but other than that I was housebound. Yesterday a friend came over to swim and then I was alone the rest of the day until Rich came home around 4:00. With all my kids out of town and no invites for a barbecue it was a sad 4th of July for me. I finally went out on my front porch and caught a glimpse of some fireworks in the neighborhood but with the temperature still 100 degrees, I didn't last long. Sometimes I know I get caught in that trap where I let others affect the way I feel about myself. How and when will I be able to overcome those feelings? Trulie had her second birthday this week and Tristyn's team took first place in the Junior National Volleyball Tournament. What an experience for a fourteen year-old, to win a gold medal and be on the best team in the nation. I wish I could have been there with her, but someone has to stay home and take care of the critters I've collected. I always think next year will be better, maybe even cooler, but maybe this is just the way it is suppose to be until I can change those things about me in my life that are holding me back.