Today is a special day for us, it's the day our sweet angel Kamber was born. She would turn six and it would be so fun to see how she likes school and how big she has grown. If she were still here we would be getting together as a family celebrating with pizza, cake and ice cream. When the Larsen's get together it's either a party or a brawl, we never know which one will happen. I remember when she turned one, she was so sick. She could have cared less if we were there or not. We were opening presents and Ethan was getting frustrated that it was taking so long. He wanted it to go faster and something was said and then it turned into a "let's pick on Mom" event. I had become so hurt I got up grabbed my purse and headed for the car. I didn't speak to a few of my family members for a couple of months. That's the way we roll sometimes when we all get together, it's probably a good thing we don't drink alcohol, that would be scary. This morning as I was at the dentist, which I hate, I was talking to Candi on the phone. She asked me if I was okay or if I was sad. I thought I was okay but then a wave of sadness came over my body, I got super hot, dizzy and felt a panic attack coming on. Damn I hate panic. Anyway, I made it through the dentist, we even took a quick loop around Joann's looking for something special to put on Kamber's grave. We left empty handed, there wasn't anything good enough for that special little girl who will forever be 2 1/2. It's been almost four years since she left us, it seems like our lives changed forever that day. I know I will never be the same, I wish I could say I've become a better person, a kinder more Christlike person. That hasn't happened yet and I'm afraid it never will. One thing I do know is that I can't wait to see her again, give her a huge hug and tell her how much I've missed her.
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