No "Do Overs" For Me,

I've spent the last month hobbling around on crutches because of a knee injury I suffered when I was twenty-two years old. After having surgery last Monday, I've been mostly convalescing in bed and trying to not lose what little brain power I have. It's hard not to go in to the depths of hell when faced with a health problem or injury. I have thought a lot lately about how I wish I could go back in time and have a "do over." I wonder what changes I would make if I knew what I know now. Maybe nothing, but I think I would make some way better choices. I would study really hard in school and not worry about my friends and stuff that wouldn't matter later on in life. I would take better care of myself and not put everyone ahead of myself. On Sunday we went to the cemetery to decorate the graves of our loved ones who have passed on to the other side. Because my knee is swollen three times and it's black and blue, not to mention I can't walk, I decided to just stay and visit with my Dad who hasn't walked the cemetery path for a long time now. There we sat, me in a chair and him in the truck, under a tree in one of the most peaceful places I know. I can't even remember what we talked about but it was nice to just have some one on one time with him. He hasn't always been a hero to me but we have mended the fences and now I just have pure love for him. When I went to the doctor today for my check up I asked him if he thought that by next week I would be feeling better. He shook his head and said, "oh yea, you will be way better by next week." So it looks like I'll be spending the rest of this week getting all my ducks in a row and packing for a trip to the beach. Last year I made a decision that I would work really hard so this year would be more fun. I was going to lose some weight and get a nice tan before we even left. Well, things didn't quite work out that way for me, just like always, but I'm determined to have fun with my kids and grand kids. Ethan and his family are going too, so I will have two of my kids and seven of my grand kids to have fun with. Even if I'm not skinny and tan and beautiful, I'm still me, and I love my family, that's all I can give them.