"Brightness of Hope"

I have been so tired since returning from my trip to Utah. I don't know how people travel across the world and through all different time zones. This little trip to Utah has about killed me. Anyway, since I have been home it has been a struggle to get back to my normal routine sleeping and housework included. I would even say I have been a little bit "down in the dumps." My Mom even keeps asking me what's wrong with me. I never really do know what is bouncing around in my brain and why at times I am an emotional wreck. I kept waking up every two hours during the night and a scripture kept coming into my mind. I finally got up and looked it up in my Book of Mormon. It is 2 Nephi 31:20 it says, "Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men." It seems like lately I am "without hope." WHY? I can logically tell myself that I have so many blessings, the gospel, my family, my home and all my earthly possessions. Then why don't I feel hopeful for the future? Rich and I have talked about it a lot lately, everything in our lives are changing. We are getting older and can't do what we used to. Our ward has changed with many ward members moving out and we also have a new Bishopric. Many of the changes are good but some are hard on us. Knowing that we have to wait a lifetime to see Kamber is painful. Because of the economy our business has taken a hit and it is hard to see Rich work his butt off and we still find it hard to make it. How are other people making it when they don't even have a job or any work? All these things keep mounting up and because of my personality, (not an eternal optimist,) it weighs me down. I guess I need to just keep memorizing that scripture and keep pressing forward and having a perfect brightness of hope. I need to keep remembering what Elder Ballard said last week, "If our lives are centered in the Gospel of Jesus Christ, nothing else matters."