Walking the Mall

I'm sad to say that my days of walking the mall are over. Yesterday Mindi and I spent three hours shopping the mall trying to use all her coupons she got for her birthday. We started out at Macy's and after going to Merle Norman, Just Sports, Victoria Secret, Bath and Body Works, Lane Bryant, The Children's Place and Dillards, I was done. My poor fat arthritic body was talking to me. I could barely make it to the car. I spent all last night in pain and after two Aleve and a Tylenol I was still hurting. So I just layed awake wondering how I have come to this place in my life. It was 1986 and I became pregnant with my fifth child. I had four children under the age of nine and wasn't that excited (that was an understatement) to be pregnant again. I couldn't believe I was pregnant and told the doctor I didn't feel the same this time. I wasn't feeling horrible like I usually did. Anyway, to make a long story short, I had a miscarriage at eleven weeks. The baby died sometime around eight weeks. It was traumatic for me because I had never lost a pregnancy before. I had four healthy children but that didn't really ease the pain. After this experience I started having some really strange symptoms. I didn't feel like myself. I was going through life oblivious to what was in store for me physically and mentally. We were having financial problems because Rich had quit his good job to go in business for himself. We didn't have any money and I worried all the time about how we were going to keep our house and feed our children. I remember my parents giving us money for food. Then I ended up having three surgeries and radiation on my thyroid for the second time. As I was awake last night I thought of some of the judgements I have made of others wondering why they acted and looked the way they did. One thing I have learned is that we never know what people are going through or what they have gone through to make them who they are. I am sure there are others who are saying "both my ores are not in the water." All I know is that I won't be doing the mall thing anytime soon.