"Principle of Compensation"

Kids sitting on my bed waiting to go to the hospital

Tristyn and Mindi before Trulie was born

Baby Trulie

Mindi and her 5 kids

Grandma and Grandpa Larsen

I feel extremely grateful today to live in this great country. We had a spiritual day yesterday as Rich and I attended the Patriarchal Blessing of a friend. She is a darling girl who just joined the church in March. We are so proud of how she has embraced the gospel and is sharing it with others. After church we came home and fixed dinner for her and a friend she had brought to church, they seemed to enjoy a home cooked meal. While we were busy at church Mindi was home in labor. She wasn't saying much but did come down to eat a little bit before Dave took her to the hospital. I got a call at around 7:00 p.m. that she was there and dilated to a 5+ and they were going to check her in two hours before deciding if they would keep her because she was only 36 weeks. The next call we got was at 8:00 and she was already at a 7 and they were moving her into a room. The kids were all excited as we called family members to let them know the baby would be born soon. I really wanted Mindi to have her on the 4th of July, so we were encouraging her to just relax and take it slow. Well, at around 9 we got a call that she was in the 8-9 centimeter range so we gathered the kids and headed to the hospital. Rich stayed out in the waiting area with the three boys while Tristyn and I went in to see Mindi. The doctor came in and broke her water and helped the baby down a little bit and told her he would be back in a few minutes. I know Mindi had wanted to see if she could have it without an epidural but she said she was "dying" with the pain from the contractions. I reminded her that they don't give any "purple hearts" in delivery if you have a natural childbirth, be thankful for modern medicine. It was so nice to see her having labor pains and not feeling them. What I would have given for any pain killing help during my childbearing years, glad that's over forever! Rich and I had a bet that she would have her before 10:00 p.m. If I won, we go to Fuddruckers tonight for hamburgers instead of all the work cooking out. The doctor came in at 9:40 and I told him she had until 10:00 to have this baby or I would lose the bet. He looked at me like I was a space alien, but guess what? Trulie Ann Moser was born at 9:57 p.m. weighing in at 6 lbs. 5 ozs. 19 1/2 inches long. She looked great, had great color and her breathing was good for being four weeks early. This is number 15 for Rich and I, with Jenn we will be having our 16th, another girl in November. Last night when I got home from the hospital I couldn't sleep. I could remember how relieved I was when my babies were finally out of the womb. I know that Mindi wanted to have this last baby because of a special experience she had while holding Kamber for the last time. The confirmation that she had another girl spirit that needed to come to their family. It takes courage to do hard things, and Mindi can do hard things. As I went to sleep the quote by Elder Wirthlin kept coming into my mind. The "Principle of Compensation," which is, "The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundred fold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude." Today I am rejoicing and have gratitude for all those blessings I receive, and I know I don't deserve them, but am extremely thankful.

Snickerdoodles and Swimming

I've been enjoying the great Arizona summer weather this week. It's only going to be 117 degrees this weekend, who wouldn't love to live here? Rich left early this morning to run up to Eagar to do a few things for my Dad at the cabin. I tried to go back to sleep but kept going over and over some thoughts in my head, so I decided to just get up and start my routine. I fed the dogs and got all the laundry together and the phone rang. It was my friend wanting to know if I was up to exercising in the pool. I don't think I've ever been swimming earlier than 7:00 a.m. but it was quite enjoyable. The water temps were around 88 degrees so we spent about an hour doing things that aren't possible on land and lots of visiting. Mindi's three little guys were up and saw me in my bathing suit so they joined us. While we were getting out of the pool Trace asked me if I knew how to make snickerdoodle cookies. I assured him I knew how and I would teach him how to make them, so he and Trent came down and we made a batch. Mindi called it a "Grandma bonding experience," whatever. Yesterday I got a call from a family member who was checking on me to see how I was surviving. After giving my sob story about how hard life is for me right now with the economy, Mindi on bed rest, the hideous heat, and my sadness of being so dependent on others, I got a little lecture. The main thing that matters in life is our relationships with others. I am in such a rut I don't even know what I could do that would make me happy. It's hard not to just give up and say to heck with it. I was thinking this morning about how simple things were years back. I felt in control and life was going well. Life always has a way of making you realize that we really aren't in control of any of this. Adversity is just part of this life and I need to do better at learning how to deal with it. I look around and I know it could be worse, I'm thankful for my little trials, not really, but I'm trying to be.

I Know I'm Crazy

At almost sixty years old I wonder why my life seems to be like the movie "Groundhog Day," where I do the same things over and over again. These last few weeks I've been consumed with trying to figure out how to stop the insanity around me, I have some ideas but they all cost lots of money that I don't have right now. Last night as I was feeding my animals I could tell that one of my rabbits was having a really hard time. Rabbits are really sensitive to the heat, unlike a dog who pants to cool off, rabbits don't really have a cool down mechanism. When I woke up at 4 a.m. I decided when it got light I would go out and catch my rabbits and put them on the porch in cages in front of a cooler Rich has hooked up for them. When I finally pulled myself out of bed I went to Mindi's to recruit some helpers for my rabbit rescue. I only had one volunteer, Trace. He was a reluctant helper but with the promise of a Blizzard he went to help me catch rabbits and bring cages up on the porch. It took me at least two hours to get them all situated and I still didn't have my dishes or laundry even started. With the temps hovering around 115 degrees for the next few days my outlook on life has become quite grimm. From the Fall to Spring I can deal with all these animals but when the heat hits I wonder what the heck I'm doing having a petting zoo in my backyard at anytime. When I was down with my hip Mindi did all the feeding, now with her on bed rest it's my turn to keep the critters alive. I find myself resenting my kids who for two weeks are in California on the beach with the 60 degree temps. Ethan left his dogs for me to take care of and Candi left Major's goldfish to feed. We have about six acres in the White Mountains we could build a cabin on, but how can I leave my home and critters and sit in a rocking chair in the cool pines? I guess I'm venting, the heat takes a huge toll on my outlook on life, it's not just the heat. Oh well, we only have about four more months before it cools down a little bit, I survived this long I guess until I'm called home I'll be here doing what I do best, complaining.

"Adversity is Part of the Pattern"

This week has been a bummer for me. Candi, Ethan and their families have gone to California to spend time with Candi's in-laws at the beach. Dave left Thurs. with the boys and his mom to San Diego to watch Trace play in a national football tournament there. Tristyn has been playing in a volleyball festival tournament all week in downtown Phoenix, so it's been a boring week. Yesterday I decided to shampoo some of my carpets that look a little dirty from all these animals, irrigation and kids I need to finish today and get my house put back together. I know I'm bored when I start deep cleaning. I still haven't heard from the doctor about my test results last week. I had a friend read the report to me but it meant nothing because I don't understand all the medical terms. All I know it that I'm tired of living in pain and being crippled. I've been getting in the pool as much as I can to try and see if the exercise will help it, but I'm not sure if it's helping or hurting. I may have to bite the bullet and go get a shot to relieve the pain so I can sleep. I'm fighting the discouragement that comes with having high expectations that haven't come to fruition. I'm almost finished reading the book "A Disciple's Life, The Biography of Neal A. Maxwell." The chapter I read this morning talked about all the different books he wrote. He wrote a lot about the Savior and how we need to strive to be more like him. He also wrote a lot about adversity. One of his quotes was, "adversity must be part of the pattern rather than always an aberration." He also wrote of the Atonement saying,"the full intensiveness of the Atonement involved bearing our pains, infirmities, and sicknesses as well as our sins." I have lots of sins, pains and infirmities so hopefully someday I will be able to overcome parts of myself that aren't working for me right now. Mindi has one more week until she can go off the medicine to stop her labor. I know she is getting tired of staying down because she is such a "go getter", she even wanted me to go with her to watch Tristyn play. I said, "are you kidding me right now? you only have one more week of this hell and then the real hell starts. Being up with a newborn all night." That sounds dreadful to me, I'm glad it's her having a baby and not me, but I can't wait to see this little precious spirit. I keep praying for her safe delivery and hope she will be strong enough to come home with Mindi from the hospital.

The Heat Is On, Super Hero Capes

This is the time of year we all HATE living in Arizona. Up until now the weather has been bearable even below average, but we can always expect June to be horribly hot. I think it's suppose to be around 113 degrees today. This morning I got an early start on feeding the animals because I knew it was going to be a doozy. Ethan and Jenn had been nice and taken Mindi's kids for a couple of days so she could rest. The problem with that is I don't have any help feeding the herd. Anyway, as I got out I noticed that the mister for the chickens was broken, so with it being so hot I had Trace go in and lift it out for me to fix. While he was in the chicken coop he noticed five baby chicks under their mommas. Are you kidding me? I don't want anymore chickens! Yes, Ethan I know that if you have roosters you are going to have baby chicks, that's why I've separated the roosters from the hens, I guess it was a little bit too late. I ended up lucking out because Ethan was here working and he had one of his guys fix my misters so what little good it does to cool them down, I'm just hoping nothing dies. Last week when I talked to Spencer he asked me if I would make a cape for his sons Tyton and Gunnar. I am not the worlds best seamstress but I told him I would try. I went to the store last week and bought a pattern and some material and went to work. It took me a few hours for two days to make these capes. I guess they have been watching some movie about superheroes and that made them want capes. Tyton wanted a green one with the initial T on it, There are so many different shades of green and some of the colors were ugly and some of the material was crap, so Tristyn picked out this wild shade of green, I hope he likes it. For Gunnar I had bought some blue material but it looked so plain I decided to make his out of U of A material and lined it with the blue silky material. I have eight total grandsons so hopefully they won't all want a super hero cape, otherwise I'm in trouble. I guess it's a good thing Mindi is on bed rest because it sure is too hot to go outside and do anything until around October, wow that's a long time to be a shut in.

Surviving Father's Day

Last Friday I asked a friend what she was doing for Father's Day. Her answer was, "nothing, I don't have a father, the only Father I have is my Heavenly Father." I then went on to ask her about her father and found out that he had passed away. I felt bad for her as she told me that he wasn't that great of a father to her when he was alive. Yesterday we had the whole clan over to celebrate with my Dad. He's 82 this year and has had prostate cancer the last nine years, so every year we have him for this holiday is a blessing. My relationship with my Dad is complicated as he was hard on me growing up, no doubt I deserved a lot of the discipline the was inflicted on me. I still don't think Fathers really know what affect they have on their children as they raise them. I'm thankful that my sons and son-in-laws are wonderful fathers and their children love them. Spencer had to speak in church yesterday, I wish I could have been there to listen to him, he's special to me. Last night as I was fighting the pain in the hip I barely got to sleep when Mindi came in to tell me she was going to the hospital. I know she did way too much yesterday and was having contractions every six to eight minutes. It is still too early for her to deliver this baby so they gave her two shots to stop the labor and hopefully stall the birth for a couple of weeks. Life seems so challenging for me right now as I'm trying to help Mindi, help myself, and deal with some disappointing relationships in my life. Every time we get together is a reminder that someone is missing and I hate it. Hopefully in time it will get easier as I move on through the trials I've been given to endure.

Mustard Seed of Faith

I've been having so much fun this week it's been hard to find time to stop to write my feelings down. Do you believe that? Anyway, it's scary to see just how fast the time is going by for me. Mindi is still in bed and hopefully we can make it through a couple more weeks so the baby won't have to be in the NICU at all. We are hoping she will be able to come home with Mindi from the hospital, that's our prayer for her. Last week when I went to the doctor they gave me a few things that could be going on in my hip. They suggested a shot of pain reliever in my joint but I let the fear get to me and wouldn't let them do it. After suffering all week I am disappointed that I let fear govern my life, I should have had the shot. On Wed. I went and had a bone scan. There again, I was so afraid that it would hurt and I was so scared. My darling cousin works at EVDI and she does this test so it was so nice to go and have her explain everything to me. Other than a little shot to put in the isotopes, the test was a breeze. The doctor hasn't called but hopefully they didn't find anything too alarming. I'm praying about that too, I really don't want to go through another surgery. I have such a simple life, because of my anxiety I don't drive and with Mindi down I'm basically a "shut in." When I went to get my test I was amazed at all the people going in and out of that place. I realized that it isn't just me who is suffering, there are hundreds of others going through their own troubles. There was an elderly man who was going in for the same test I was who had his leg amputated. He was having problems with his prosthetic leg hurting him so they were looking at a spot on the stump of his leg. There was also a woman who had already had both hips and knees done with great success except this last knee is giving her problems. As I was lying in bed Wed. night I realized how easy it is to be all consumed with our own trials without thinking of just how many others are suffering too. My friend came over and we were exercising in the pool. Her son was killed in a motorcycle accident a few years ago. We were talking about childbirth, surgeries and losing a child. All these challenges give us experience and education that otherwise we wouldn't have gotten. We decided that unless someone has "been there, done that, and gotten the T shirt," you really can't understand or comprehend what others are going through. I know I've been told many, many times that I have NO FAITH. I try to use my little mustard seed of faith, but I continue to struggle in the "things will work out for my good," category. Some day I hope to be able to see the big picture and realize that life is an experience I was sent her to live and learn as much as I can before going home.

Shower, Doctor, The Atonement

Food table at the shower
Mindi at the punch bowl
Mell, Candi and Jessica

The weeks are going by so fast it becomes a blurr to me. My life is truly passing me by as I struggle to keep up with everything that needs to be done. Last Thurs. a few family members and friends threw Mindi a simple little surprise baby shower. She is suppose to be on bed rest so we were all worried it may not happen, but she was able to come and feel the love of those who came to support her. This is her fifth baby so she wasn't that keen on having a shower, but because it has been thirteen years since her last baby girl, she didn't have anything pink. Thank you to everyone who supported her and all the work that was done on her behalf. Before the shower I had a doctors appointment to try to find out why the pain continues to make my life a living hell. They took an x-ray and then gave me some "maybe causes" and "maybe solutions," but as I left the doctor's office my head was spinning. No I didn't want a shot in my hip to take the pain out if it was bursitis. No I don't want to get a bone scan to see if maybe the lining of the new hip has slipped out of place or my bone hasn't healed onto the metal hip causing scar tissue to form. For sure NO I don't want to go into surgery to fix this $25,000 replacement part that I had hoped would be the answer to my crippleness and even my grouchiness. Are those even words? Anyway, it is frustrating when you go through something as hard as a major surgery and at times don't see any improvement. I know I need lots of prayers and personal revelation before I will go through that again. The problem is that it may come down to can I live like this for the rest of my life? Or is it so bad I'm willing to go back into surgery? Today in church it was all on the Atonement. I'm not a scriptorium or a genius when it comes to understanding this subject. It sounds so simple when you hear someone say that the Savior has suffered for all the pains, sicknesses, sins, heartache, disappointments and even the loss of our beloved Kamber. I have a hard time grasping that concept even though I have a testimony of it's truth. One of the statements made was that when we go through trials we can "either become more humble and grateful or we can become bitter." I'm trying really hard to not be bitter but at times I must admit that's the way I roll.I know everyone is going through some trial and I'm thankful for my own personal struggles, hopefully I'm learning what I need to before I return home from where I came. One of the quotes from church was "sadness and fear will be replaced with joy and peace if we put or trust in our Savior Jesus Christ." That's what I'm striving for this week.

Life's Little Challenges, I Love It

Yesterday morning a friend of mine came over and we exercised in the pool. When I'm in the water it's fun to be able to walk and move freely, something that is difficult on land. After she left I was busy doing my five loads of laundry and cleaning up my kitchen from Sunday dinner. At about noon I started getting the worst headache and my arms, neck and back were aching. I even felt like I was running a fever. I spent the rest of the day self medicating myself with pain relievers and a nap. I was happy when these symptoms went away at around 9:00 p.m. when I took a hot bath and went to bed. This morning I went with Candi to run errands. She has me go with her to sit in the car with her boys while she runs in to different beauty supplies to stock up on stuff for work. We are both really passionate people and because we are SO much alike, in some areas, it can get quite loud in the car. When you add in three little boys fighting over blocks and whining it was quite an experience. I'm always glad to get home and go in to my quilting room and work on a project. This week I'm concentrating on getting Mindi's soon to be born baby her quilts and wardrobe put together. This is the third baby she has been put on bed rest because of pre-term labor scares. I hope the last. When I was having babies I got so big that when I couldn't take it any longer I got brave and downed the castor oil, hoping to bring on labor. Now I worry everyday that this little spirit will be born too soon and with that comes complications I don't want to deal with. Jenn is also having a little problem with her pregnancy with some unwanted bleeding so we are praying for her. This experience we call mortal life can be quite challenging for me. I ask myself all the time if it's just me or is everyone going through stuff that tests their faith and testimony. Maybe it's the "you are the most negative person on earth" syndrome that makes my head spin. Whatever it is I wish I could change it because my life would be way easier, oh I forgot it's suppose to be hard right?

Another Day in "Paradise"

Life has been crazy for me the last couple of weeks. We have had four parties at my house and even though it's lots of fun it's also a lot of work. This morning as I was stripping the sheets off my bed to put in the wash I was having a little pity party in my mind. I had woken up at 5:oo a.m. to two hungry puppies and a list of chores a mile long to get done today. I was having so many negative thoughts about my situation right now, I was making myself crazy. Rich and Dave are super busy trying to keep us in our house and food on the table and Mindi and I are trying to keep things under control here at home. Mindi needs to stay down as much as possible to keep from going in to labor and being hospitalized. If that happens I WILL be "out of control." Last night I needed to go to the grocery store and Rich had promised he would take me. When he got home from working a ten hour day he looked so tired and said, "if we are going we need to go now because I'm out of gas." I hate going food shopping with a guy who is tired and grouchy and not really wanting to go, I was sure a fight would happen. So I called a good friend of mine and asked if she minded taking me. It was fun visiting with her and I so appreciated her willingness to help me. As I was going through all my challenges I started thinking about all the people in Northern Arizona who are going through a terrible trial with the forest fire. They are evacuating hundreds of people and don't know when they will be able to get this huge fire under control. The thought came in to my mind, "at least you still have a home." Everywhere I look there are trials and challenges, I guess that is what this mortal life is all about. I never have been a big fan of adversity but it seems to like me. Anyway, today is just another one of those days in "Paradise."

No More Animals for Me!

After the stress of these last few days I can see why some people choose not to have animals. Besides my usual chickens, rabbits turtles and fish, we have been dog and bird sitting for some friends in our ward. They are going to be gone for three weeks on vacation, so I need to suck it up and try to get through the remaining two. The problem is we have five puppies and three adult dogs plus one who comes during the day to play while her owner works. It is challenging to try and keep the puppies safe from the dangers that lurk outside, plus make sure the big dogs don't bother them. Yesterday morning I woke up to some strange howling noise in the backyard. I looked out my bathroom window to find one of the baby golden retrievers in my fish pond. He must have fallen in and then when he tried to get out got stuck between two rocks. So out I went in my nightgown trudging through the sprinklers to pull him to safety. He was now a green dog because of the algae in the pond so I needed to give him a bath. That put me in a bad mood the rest of the day even though it was Candi's birthday and we would be celebrating with her. After the shindig of a party I had Rich and Dave make a fence to keep the big puppies out of danger and Mindi brought the little Shih Tzus in her house. What a pain in the butt these little guys are, Bella is tired of nursing them so they just follow her around whining. Mindi is suppose to be on bed rest so that makes it even harder trying to make the kids help and keep her down. Hopefully we will be able to handle this without loss of life or limb, say a prayer for us.

Memorial Day 2011

Today is Memorial Day 2011. This holiday used to represent the start of summer vacation and very hot weather, but for the last three years it has taken on a whole new meaning for me. Our extended family always get together at the Mesa Cemetery on Sunday evening to decorate the graves of our ancestors who have passed through the veil to the spirit world. Last evening as we drove in to the cemetery it was so peaceful. The wind was blowing and our family were gathering. After a few hugs we started on our trek. We met at my beloved Grandma Fern's grave and the little kids were so excited to clean it off and place flowers there. We sang the hymn "High On A Mountain Top" as a tribute to her. Everyone else went on and I walked back to the truck to sit with my Dad because walking has become painful again for me with this darn hip. We had a good visit wondering if these special people in our lives were "hanging out" at the cemetery or if they were mindful of our efforts. It was interesting as we talked to realize that someday my Dad and I would be buried there and hopefully the kids and grand kids would have some nice things to say about us. After the gang got back we had refreshments. Everyone brings their favorite treats and we have a fun time mingling with hugs and laughter. When Rich got back he drove me over to see Kamber's grave. It was quiet with the cool breeze in my face. I miss her so much, but am aware of our Heavenly Father's Plan to be together again at some point. As we drove through the cemetery looking at all the American flags blowing I felt so much gratitude for everything in my life, all those liberties we enjoy as Americans but sometimes take for granted. Mindi has been put on bed rest for the remainder of her pregnancy. I have been trying to do my best to help her with the laundry and Candi was nice to take me to the grocery store on Saturday. Hopefully we can make it through the next five weeks so her baby can be born strong enough to survive. I know it is frustrating for her to not be up doing all the chores she does and it's time for her kids to step in and grow up and learn to "Put Your Shoulder To The Wheel" and move along helping and serving as much as they can.

Birthday, Conference and Tender Mercies

Thanks to everyone who called and thought of me on my birthday, it was actually really nice to have a Sunday birthday. I'm always glad when the calender flips to the 23rd. We had the family all over for dinner and that's always a ton of fun, very LOUD, but the grand kids love it. I have spent two hours cleaning up my kitchen, that's okay I'm just thankful I feel well enough to work in my house. Jenn is doing better but Mindi just went to the doctor and is having pre-term labor. She needs to stay down and stop lifting or doing anything strenuous, she needs at least six or seven more weeks to have a healthy baby. We had Stake Conference this weekend and the messages were good. They talked lots about service, temple work, and adversity, all things I need to work on. I felt the spirit and know what I felt was inspiration to change things in my life.

I hope to have some time this week to work on my quilts. I have always wondered why I enjoy working on these little labors of love. Well my Dad recently went up to the White Mountains and brought back a quilt that my grandmother made, he brought it over to me yesterday. I guess she won some blue ribbons for the work she had done on it. It also survived a fire that destroyed their house, there are a few dark spots from the smoke that got into the chest it was kept in but otherwise it lookss really good. My Dad wanted me to have it and as I was looking at it I could see all the tiny hand sewn stitches of my Grandmother. I don't think she used a sewing machine it looks all hand stitched. I also couldn't stop thinking the odds of it being purple and white, Kamber's favorite colors. Maybe this is one of those tender mercies we talk about all the time, if it is, thank you.

What The Heck!

Yesterday was a busy and stressful day for me. I had decided to make tamales and that took all morning to mix the masa, roll them and get them cooked. Thank heavens Mindi came down to help. I got a call from Spencer wanting to take me to lunch for my birthday. That would have been fun but I was up to my eyeballs in tamales. He ended up just picking me up a burger and we had a nice little visit before he loaded up his dog Trixie and headed back to Colorado. In the mean time, Candi called asking if we could watch her boys while they went to sign on their new home, it has taken 18 months to finalize this deal. Mindi needed to run to the store to get some supplies for Dave and Trace as they were leaving for the Grand Canyon at ten o'clock last night arriving home tonight. It was also Rich's birthday but he spent it at the Temple and working, so that was just fine with us. During the day yesterday I got a little wave of nausea moving through but just thought it was the stress I was under. This morning when I woke up at 4:45 a.m. I was so sick. I had the "GREAT GAMBOO" and have been in bed all day except for getting up to the bathroom or to get a drink. What the heck is wrong with me that I keep getting all these weird flu symptoms? As I was lying in bed this morning not able to eat, Ethan called asking if I could go to their house and watch the kids because Jenn, who is a few months pregnant was bleeding and needed to go to the doctor. I was glad when they found someone else and even more relieved when he called to tell me the baby is okay and she needs to just take it easy for a couple of days. I don't know how people do it that have more than four kids and almost sixteen grand kids, it seems like there is always some one who needs help. I finally decided that I should get up and walk around the house hopefully to prevent bed sores and get my mind off of my symptoms. Hopefully I will feel way better tomorrow, we have a big weekend with Stake Conference and my birthday extravaganza, ha, ha! I hate getting old.

Remembering Johnny Lingo

When I was a young girl growing up I loved to watch the movie "Johnny Lingo." It's about a shrewd Polynesian trader who comes to one island to bargain for a girl to be his wife. Her name is Mahana and was considered ugly and undesirable by her neighbors and even her father. As Johnny Lingo negotiates with her father she is hiding in a hut so shy and scared while the village people make fun of her. Anyway, to make a long story short he ends up offering her father "eight cows" for her hand in marriage which was considered a very high price. The villagers didn't think he would show up with the cows but he brought all eight of the them and off he went with his Mahana who he had loved since childhood. Because of the way he treated her she became a very beautiful woman. I was sitting in church last week and these memories of this little movie that I had seen at least twenty times kept coming in to my mind. What we say and how we treat others can make a difference in their self worth. I know at times I compare my life to those around me and wonder what is wrong with me? Why don't I have what they have? Why don't I feel the same way as them? I was talking to a family member who I absolutely adore the other day. They are extremely disappointed and feeling like giving up on life. Oh how I've been there many times. As I was giving my little pep talk I was really talking to myself. I heard my Mother's words about how "everything will work out" and we have to "keep hoeing to the end of the row," "look at how bad the pioneers had it."I guess that just means we have to keep plugging along in life until we can finally see the big picture, eternity. I don't know why this little movie made such an impression on me, I guess I've always struggled with a lack of self esteem and this gave me hope that some day I would be able to realize that I am a daughter of my Heavenly Father who knows and loves me the way I am. That gives me hope.

No Pain We Suffer Is Wasted

I hate being in pain. I was told once by a counselor that as human beings we will do anything to get relief from pain. During this earthly life we all experience different kinds of pain, some physical, some emotional and others including psychological and mental. Last week I got in the pool twice to exercise this new metal hip that is now 8 months old. Spencer even tried to convince me that pain is good, it means I'm working hard. After sitting for three hours in church yesterday I was up all night with just a dull aching pain. I don't even remember sleeping at all, but I'm sure there was a short time of snoozing. I can honestly say that I would rather be in physical pain than some of the others I have experienced. During childbirth I remember begging the doctors to help give me something to relieve the agony of labor, but they always gave me an excuse. This April Conference, in a talk there was a quote by Elder Orson F. Whitney who wrote: "No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude and humility. It is through our sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation that we gain the education that we come here to acquire." So as I struggle with the everyday ups and downs hopefully I'm gaining that education I've come here to get.

It Could Be Worse!

I had a good day yesterday. Spencer, Annie and the kids made it home from Colorado and came over to visit. We decided to brave the cold water in the pool and he helped me exercise my hip. I got the lecture about how my hip won't get better unless I put in the work rehabbing it, yada yada. Anyway, after they left Mindi got a call that Dave's truck was broken down and he needed a ride while they towed it to the garage for repairs. When Rich got home we worked on the pool pump that isn't working right. After taking it apart we found six small rocks and some leaves that were plugging it up. It still needs some more work but we were tired. Then last night as I was getting in to bed I stepped in something cold and wet. I threw a towel on the floor and would deal with it this morning. When I got up I saw that in my bathroom there was a bubble on the drywall and the carpet soaked. Obviously we have a leak in a pipe in the wall. Are you kidding me, again? When I showed Rich he cut all the drywall back, pulled up the carpet and put a fan blowing under it. What else can possibly go wrong today? We are staying home all day, which is a good thing because funds are slim right now. It's really hard to not get discouraged when everything seems to be either broken or worn out. I have learned from experience that my life goes through cycles of good and bad, happy and sad, rich and poor, actually I've never been rich so I wouldn't know what that feels like. As I was complaining about all my problems my Mom has her usual, "things will all work out," encouragement. Even if they don't work out the way I want, what can I do about it? Then Rich's secretary said, "I guess it could be worse," yeh, I'm sure it could and probably will. At least it's Friday and the end to another wonderful week.

I Survived Mother's Day!

On our way to church.

I spent all day Monday in bed with something. I don't know if it was a virus or just the overdose of chocolate from Mother's Day, but I was sure sick. All it takes is one day in bed to make me appreciate the days I actually get up and accomplish something. I didn't even get the dishes done left over from Sunday until this morning, so I'm glad to be feeling better. I had a good day on Sunday, it's always nice when your children make an effort to make you feel loved. Candi took me out to lunch on Saturday and did my hair. She is a doll. I heard from Spencer and he will be traveling home tomorrow. Mindi and Ethan both gave me nice gifts, I love them all. We had some family and friends over for dinner and when we were getting all the food out I remembered I had forgotten to take out rolls to rise and cook. Mindi forgot too, she's pregnant but I have NO excuses except old age. After dinner the extended family came to see my Mom. It gets kind of chaotic but the kids have lots of fun together. I only had a few times during the day that were sad and the tears flowed. The young men and their leaders sang in church, it was touching. As I was listening to the Music and the Spoken Word he said this is a "Tribute to Mothers" I felt the tears start to flow. What about all those mothers who have lost children? I lost a pregnancy, that was hard, but my thoughts turned to those mothers whose children have gone back to Heaven and those women who so desperately want to be mothers but for some reason will never on this earth give birth or have the opportunity to be a mother. I do know that our Heavenly Father knows us and loves each of us. I believe that if we live the commandments we will be blessed with all the righteous desires of our hearts. While all the family were here I decided to take pictures of all the girls, from my 81 year old Mother to the smallest little niece. These are the next generation of mothers in our family. Each one of them are so special to me.

All of the mothers and older future mothers

These are the younger future mothers.

Preparing for Mother's Day

I am making the final preparations to have the family over for my MOST favorite day of the year, Mother's Day. I'm trying really hard to have a good attitude and get through this weekend without sinking into the abyss. My house is clean, the lawn mowed and Mindi and I will soon be walking through the grocery store getting what we need to entertain on Sunday. Our group won't be that big, thank heavens. With Len and Julie gone and some of the other family members estranged, it will just be my parents, my kids and grand kids, my sister and her husband and Jenn's Mom and sister for dinner. Remember the days when the husbands tried to fix dinner for us? In the Greer/Larsen family that didn't work so well, so us girls plan what the heck we want to eat and do it the way we want it done. I hope the guys don't mind, ha ha! After dinner the rest of the cousins will come to see Mom and have dessert. We are so thankful to have her and my Dad with us. My sister and I went shopping for her last week and as we walked through Bed Bath and Beyond we were laughing at how our Mother probably wouldn't use our gifts, she likes the old school way of doing things, but it's the thought that counts. We went to Dillard's and bought her a purple and white blouse, we even paid full price, something I never do. I just felt it would be wrong to get something on clearance for this special person. I talked to Spencer this morning, they will be coming next week but leaving before my birthday. I'm not holding my breath because he's told me several times he was coming but his plans can quickly change. My thoughts this week have been on all the special women in my life who I admire. All of them have gone through some terrible adversities but kept on plugging away living the gospel and keeping the commandments. I hope to be worthy to see them on the other side, hopefully Kamber will be with them, I know they love her too.

What Is Happiness Anyway?

When I went outside this morning to feed my animals I looked around and had such gratitude for all my blessings. Then the thought came to me, with all these blessings why do I struggle so bad with being happy? What really is HAPPINESS? I know for me, I've spent the majority of my adult life trying to find something or someone that could make me feel joyous, but no matter what I buy or what I do, nothing seems to fill up that desire for happiness that I so desperately want. I have noticed that since Kamber passed away and I had my hip surgery, my mood has been even more dreary than it was before. As a child my parents, especially my Mother, would always quote scriptures to me about if we live the commandments our Heavenly Father will bless us. I don't ever really remember her telling me that some of the things I would go through like childbirth, raising children, trying to get along with a spouse, or losing a grandchild would test me to my very core. I know we aren't suppose to compare our situations to others but darn it, does everyone have these days that make us wonder what in the heck is going on? Life can be brutal but no matter how bad I think it is I know my life is so much better than the majority of people on this earth. So, I have come to this wonderful conclusion that I am the only one that can make me happy. I've given everyone else a chance and that hasn't worked so I will have to figure it out by myself. I want be able to make some changes in my life that will help me on this discovery. I don't know where this road will lead me, maybe just in to take a nap, but hopefully some day I will be able to find the gifts I have within me to bring the happiness I'm searching for.

Shopping for Mother's Day

I've spent most of this week shopping. I started at the grocery store on Monday, and then we've been to fabric and scrapbooking stores and then yesterday and today I've been at the malls trying to find gifts for Mother's Day. Last night Mindi and I took Tristyn to some of her favorite stores. She is so picky we decided that we wouldn't give our opinions because FOR SURE if we liked it she would hate it. While driving to the mall I realized this would be the first year I wouldn't be buying anything for Rich's Mom, Beth. Her birthday is this week on the 4th of May so I would always mail something to her for both holidays. She passed away a few months ago, we will certainly miss her this year. I was saddened this week as I talked to a friend of mine who has never had any children. I listened as she told me how she hates Mother's Day and it shouldn't be on a Sunday because when she goes to church all they talk about is Mothers. I have a wonderful cousin who has never been married or had children but she is the best sister and "auntie" anyone could ever want. I'm not a big fan of this day but not because I don't have any children or grandchildren, but because sometimes I feel like I was a failure in my parenting. I do believe that we as women whether married or single, mothers or not, do our very best to be good examples to those around us. This afternoon my sister Mell and I went shopping for our Mother. With Len and Julie on a mission and my other sibling going through some rough times, it is just the two of us trying to find a gift to represent our love and appreciation for her. What could we possibly buy at the mall that would even put a dent in all she has done for us? Without her sacrifice we wouldn't be where we are today. She was not only a school teacher but she taught us the gospel. One of her favorite sayings to me is "Teri, what would the Savior do?" Hopefully some day I can be that person she would want me to be.

Searching for the Light

Rich turned to me the other morning and asked me if I thought I needed to get on some medication. What, the twenty pills I take a day aren't enough? I can laugh about it now but at the time I was in a deep dark hole not knowing if I could ever crawl out. I know that life is suppose to teach us to be more like the Savior and be tested as to what kind of life we will live, but some trials are enough to put us under. I know there are things that are happening in the world that are so horrible I don't even want to think about the starving people in Africa and the homeless ones in Japan. Where is the JOY we are promised? I feel guilty because sometimes I'm just overwhelmed with getting my dishes done and my laundry put away. I worry about my parents as they move into their 80's, how much longer will they be around? What about the nasty world my grandchildren are going to live in? When will the NFL and the players stop acting like babies and get a deal done? Yesterday my Mom called to try and pull me up out of the dungeon. She wanted to know if I was practicing my piano. I took five years of piano lessons but when she finally realized it was a waste of her money she let me quit. Oh how I wish I could play those hymns and primary songs I love so much. Maybe that would be good therapy for me. I did have success playing high school and college volleyball but after knee injuries and childbirth that was over too. Next week is Mother's Day one of my most favorite days, right up there with my Birthday. Yippee! That's coming soon also. I know there is a light out there somewhere, it's my responsibility to search for it and hopefully find it some day.

Blessings of Easter

Brookie with one of the puppies

Kylie

Tayler and Max

Life continues to show me that it's a test to be on this earth trying to survive the trials I'm given and work through some very hard emotional stuff. I felt life was hard before but now with the passing of Kamber it seems like I have a big dark hole in my heart that won't heal, no matter how hard I try. Anyway, Ethan called to ask if I could watch the kids while he and Jenn went to the funeral of an Aunt of hers. So I got to spend the morning with the Larsen children. It was so fun to have them over. First we went to hold the puppies which Tayler and Kylie were totally good about being careful. Brookie wanted to hold them but if they made a noise or moved a little bit she would just drop them. Max wasn't interested so he just crawled around playing with toys. As Ethan left he invited me to go to the cemetery with them to decorate Kamber's grave for Easter, so while I was babysitting I was also trying to get showered and dressed. It's a good thing I can still multi-task. Kylie decided to go outside and cut some roses, she and Tayler made some amazing bouquets. We went to the cemetery and met Jenn's Mom Madeline there. I can honestly say I haven't ever been to the cemetery on or around Easter before. There was a cool breeze blowing and it was so peaceful there. It amazes me to see all the ways to decorate a grave and it was fun to see how creative people are. We took some pictures and came home stopping to get some lunch on the way. My sister came by to get me and we went shopping for Easter clothes. When we were kids my Mom always got us a new dress to wear to church on Easter Sunday. We hit a couple of stores but I didn't find anything that I loved, so I'm hoping for another chance to go to the Mall with Mindi and Tristyn tonight. I know that the clothes aren't important to celebrate Easter, I'm so thankful for my testimony that Christ lived and gave his life for me, without the Atonement there would be no hope to see those family members again and to live with them on the other side. We are getting together tomorrow for Easter dinner, that's what life's all about!

Ethan and the girls, Max was asleep in the car

Darling me and Madeline

Paying It Forward

We had a nice anniversary, Rich fixed the pump in my pond, picked some roses and took me to the Ward Mexican Fiesta for dinner. It was a fun day but I was so tired from being up most of the night with Bella giving birth, all I wanted was some sleep. I spent most of yesterday sewing a little skirt for Brookie. I found the pattern while shopping for material for Mindi's new baby due this summer. It felt so good to just relax and be creative, but I felt guilty for not wanting to do all the other household chores. I told Mindi today that I'm just burned out. Thirty-five years of cleaning house, doing laundry, mowing yards, and raising kids has taken a toll on my body and my sanity. I find myself becoming annoyed more easily, and just the little things seem to get to me. We talked about charity last week in RS and then this Sunday it was about being honest. After I left church I realized that I try to be an honest person, but I struggle with charity sometimes. Mindi and I decided to make some spring wreaths for some of our favorite people, so off we went to Hobby Lobby, Michael's and then finally Jo Ann's. As we were pulling out of Hobby Lobby there was a guy in a big truck getting his wheelchair out. He had a remote that moved his chair out so he could get in. I was so impressed that he was all alone and obviously he couldn't walk by himself. Mindi said, "see Mom, it could be a lot worse." I then said, "that's the problem it probably is going to get worse." At Michael's I just sat in the car with Troy because he was in need of a nap. While I was people watching I noticed several ladies coming out with canes, walkers and others just limping. It's interesting that when you have a disability you notice others who might have the same challenges. I think my expectations were different than what I got out of my surgery. When I complain my Mom just says, "but at least you are out of pain." Yes, most of the pain is gone, but I can't walk very well, and that gets me down. This weekend we had two more drownings and two others who were rescued. This always puts me in a dark place. You go down that road again knowing this time how these families feel. Ethan and Jenn have started a non profit to make caskets for children who pass away. We are busy trying to come up with ideas to raise money to help pay for these "labors of love." We were helped by so many friends, family and ward members that we want to "pay it forward" so other families can feel our love and support for them. Life is short and we never know when something will happen to someone we love. So I guess it's time to cheer up and start working.

35 Years Together and 5 Puppies Born

The other day I was talking to a friend of mine about how old we are getting. In two years I will be 60 and then if I live twelve more I will be 70. How can that be? It seems like my life is going by so fast. Two months ago Mindi decided to bring a little male to breed with her female Shih Tzu Bella. As we were looking at the calendar we realized she would have her puppies on Rich and My 35th wedding anniversary today. Yesterday we couldn't find Bella all day long. This little dog usually follows us around begging for food but she was acting strange. We finally found her under the boys bed and sure enough she was in labor. So Mindi, Tristyn and I were up until 2:30 this morning helping deliver her puppies. She had the first two really fast and then we waited and waited for the third. She had the last one at around 2 a.m. To say that I am tired is an understatement. I'm too old to be delivering puppies until late in the night. The third one was so cute I decided to keep her. A few hours after she was born Tristyn picked her up and she was limp and not breathing. I tried to stimulate her and breath close to her nose and mouth in hopes she would make it. She gasped for about an hour and we really thought she would make it but she never did get warm and breath normally. So she had five puppies and we have four that lived. It will be easy to remember the date they were born because of it being our anniversary. I brought my wedding album out, I do it at least once a year, it's hard when you don't recognize the people in the photos. I hope when I die my spirit will look like I did when I was 22, tan athletic and strong. Life seems to take a toll when you get out into the "lone and dreary world." Anyway, I'm happy for every year Rich has been able to put up with my PMS, postpartum, animal hoarding behavior. I've had to put up with some of his little faults too. I guess we deserve each other, that is the only reason I can think of that we would put up with each other, that and our deep love. Anyway, we made it through another year, sometimes we don't know why it seems so hard, but I'm thankful for all the lessons learned from this experience. Our posterity is growing with soon to be 16 grand kids added to our wonderful four children and their spouses. How can life get better than this?

Easter Pagaent Message

Rich Damir and Hamra at the Easter Pageant

On Tues. morning Rich informed me that he had invited a friend of his to come to the Easter Pageant at the Mesa Temple. At first I told him I didn't know if I would be able to walk that far or sit on the hard metal chairs in the cold. As the day progressed I kept hoping they would call to say they couldn't make it so I could stay home and watch the"Biggest Loser." Well, at 6:00 p.m. they called Rich to say they were five minutes away from our house. So, off we went Rich and I and Damir and his girlfriend Hamra. Damir used to work for Rich, he had recently come to the U.S. from Bosnia. But three years ago he was riding a motorcycle without a helmet and hit some railroad ties that had been buried in the road. He was thrown off his motorcycle and hit his head on a rock in the road causing severe brain damage. I remember Rich going to the hospital to see him and coming home so sad. The doctors and nurses all said he wasn't going to make it and if he did he would be a vegetable, that they should "pull the plug" on his life. Well, his Mother wouldn't even consider that, telling the hospital staff that he would make it and she would never give up on her son. As we walked in to the Temple grounds it was so peaceful. Here I was limping along but poor Damir took quite a while to make it to our chairs. The last time I saw him was at Kamber's funeral and he was extremely thin, white as a ghost and in a wheelchair. As we sat and watched the Pageant about the life of Christ, I thought of how important the Atonement is to all of us. Although most of us are struggling with some sort of challenge we can all make it back to our Heavenly Father if we repent, and live the commandments. It sounds so simple, but in reality it gets complicated some times. After the Pageant we went to eat at Denny's, it was close and late around 9:00 p.m. As we sat and visited I asked him a bunch of questions like, do you remember the accident? How long were you in a coma? How old is your little boy now? As we talked I remembered a conversation I had with one of my favorite people in the whole world. I remember him saying that if he was in an accident and was on life support, and wasn't going to be at least 95% he didn't want to live, he wanted us to "pull the plug." After talking to Damir and seeing how thankful he is to be alive, I felt so disappointed in my loved ones attitude. NO his life isn't perfect, he goes to therapy everyday and his girlfriend drives him everywhere he needs to go, but darn it he seemed happier than any one of us who haven't been through what he has. He is thankful for just being alive. What a wonderful place to be, having gratitude for the simplest things. I need to change my attitude and hopefully I will never have to make that horrible decision.

Learning Charity

It seems like lately I've been "lower than a snake's belly" so I hate to write when I don't feel normal in the head. Yesterday I spent the day with a dear friend. We went to lunch, the chiropractor and then shopping for clothes. It felt good to be out and not just home in the doldrums. Today Mindi went to get another ultrasound of her baby so I went to Scottsdale to visit with my parents. It's always nice to go home and be able to relax and just be me. My Mom works in the Temple but because of the Easter Pageant she doesn't have to work for a couple of weeks so my Dad decided to take us out to lunch at Los Olivos. As we drove to downtown Scottsdale I couldn't believe how different it looks since I moved away 35 years ago. Life seemed so simple then. Growing up my Dad would always tell me, "Teri don't wish your life away." I didn't understand it then, but now I do. While talking to my parents I told them how disappointed I am with my life right now. I try to do the right things, those that I was taught as a child, but there is still a part of me that I don't seem to be able to change. To me life should be different than it is. I really did feel that after my surgery I would feel better, walk better, be able to do things I couldn't before because of the constant pain. That's not my reality yet, all I can have is hope that someday things will get better. I'm so thankful for parents who love me and want the best for me. I know their lives haven't been perfect but they have always lived life with charity, now if I could just become like them my life would get easier for sure.

The birthdays just keep coming. Yesterday Spencer's little guy turned four and today my little, or should I say BIG guy turns 30. I can't believe it has been that long since I birthed my first son. He was almost ten pounds, and if the cord hadn't been wrapped around his neck he would have been born in the carport of our little house on Jacaranda St. in Mesa. After a wild ride to the hospital, I was only in there around fifteen minutes before he was born. In the olden days we didn't have the privilege of knowing what gender we were having, so I was so excited to have a boy after two girls. I woke up this morning at 5:30 a.m. and couldn't go back to sleep. Rich leaves early to go work out so I'm alone almost every morning to ponder my life and my day. After about an hour of not so nice thoughts I decided to get up and do some writing that I was told would help me with some of these negative feelings I've been having. Since Kamber's passing I feel like I have a big chunk of my heart missing. Maybe a dark cloud hanging over me too. I often wonder if maybe there is something seriously wrong with me that I can't just forget the past and look forward to the future. The problem is, the future isn't looking that great to me right now either. It's easy with all the wars going on, the economy tanking, earthquakes and floods to get discouraged about life. Pretty soon it will be 110 degrees around here and that would make even a normal person crazy. Anyway, I'm thankful to be out of bed today, not running a fever, sitting up and taking nourishment, maybe that's all I need today to just have hope that I can make it through today. I have blessings upon blessings but darn it sometimes I can't see them through my dark colored glasses. Anyway, Happy Birthday to my wonderful son Ethan, we love you!

The Fisherman Returns to the Flu or Headache?

Rich has been gone for four days fishing with Spencer in Missoula, Montana. I'm glad he got to go on a little trip but it will be nice to have him home, I always sleep better when he's here. When he leaves town I want to get lots of things done, like clean out a room, get all the ironing done, and have my house spotless and me looking "smashing" when he comes in the door. Well, I had great intentions today as I woke up and started doing my chores and trying to put things away. We also got irrigation so that is always a worry for me, but with Mindi pregnant and me crippled Dave came home to take care of that thankfully. As the morning progressed I started feeling worse with each passing minute. I finally got a thermometer from Mindi and put the heating pad on my feet, I also started taking some meds for my throbbing headache. What the @%ll, I have the flu again? After a lecture from my Mom to not stay in bed and "get up and dust," that is what my Grandma Fern would always say when we were sick, I have attempted to get a few things done before Rich arrives around 6:00 p.m. I'm wondering if it is the change in the pressure from a storm that is suppose to move in later tonight that is causing my headache, but who the heck knows. I have often wondered what it would be like to look and feel like I did before taking that hard road to marriage and child bearing. What would my life be like if I never got married, had kids and instead had a single life and career. Would I be happier with my life or would I yearn for what I have now? I understand that the "Plan of Happiness" requires us to be sealed in the Temple and have children if possible, so hopefully when I reach the other side it will be worth the sacrifices made. I can't imagine not having a husband, children and grandchildren, they teach me lessons I wouldn't have learned if I didn't have them in my life. On Monday I went to the UPS store to send a package to the kids in Colorado. It was full of birthday and Easter stuff for Tyton's birthday tomorrow. As I was standing there a lady and her husband walked in with a box of nothing but candy. Tootsie Roll pops, Skittles and a bunch of other candies they were sending to their grand kids in Texas. She was hobbling in on crutches so of course I had to ask her what her problem was. She told me how she was in a car and another vehicle rammed her, backed up and hit their car again. She seemed to think it was an insurance scam because this same driver had hit six other cars here in Gilbert. As a result of this accident she had a heart attack, a brain seizure and they had to replace her knee which her body is rejecting. I told her about my hip replacement and how disappointed I am that my walking isn't better, she had a few suggestions on how I could feel better. After listening to her story and all that is wrong with her I felt thankful that my problems seemed so minimal. No matter where I look there is always someone who is going through something worse than I am. Hopefully I will feel better tomorrow and get those things done on my list, if not there is always Friday.

Three Birthdays and NO Car Seat Cover

All the kids at the party!

Ethan and Brookie after opening presents

The quilt I made for Brookie

I'm always excited when Rich leaves town because I think I can slack off on the house cleaning and go shopping, out to eat and just kick back. It sounds like a good idea until I look around and see that by taking a few days off it really just makes my life harder. Today we ran some errands, got some lunch and then drove down into the middle of Mesa to talk to a girl about helping me make a car seat cover for Mindi's new baby due in July. I bought a pattern last week and used some old ugly material to make a practice one and it turned out horrible. I thought I was a better seamstress than I am obviously. After talking to her about how much work it is and that you really don't have a pattern, I would just "eyeball it" I decided that maybe spending $75-$100 would be worth it instead of the irritation of making one. I love to make quilts, they aren't perfect, but who cares, I do the best I can, but to take on a project at this age and time just doesn't feel right to me. We went out to Ethan and Jenn's yesterday to celebrate Brookie's birthday. When we showed up she had this scarey looking Dora mask on. Every time I think of her it makes me smile. She was only three months old when Kamber passed away, she is really special to me because she helped get me through that terrible trial. I also have a really special feeling for little Gunnar who was born a few hours after we buried Kamber. It will be interesting to me when I go to the other side to understand the dynamic between burying a grandchild while bringing another one in the world on the same day. Tyton's birthday is Thurs. and then Ethan will be 30 on Friday. Conference weekend was so good. As I was listening to the speakers I realized how many things I fall short in doing. It seemed like the brethren are really worried about the families and the way we treat each other. I know I don't show the appreciation and love I should to my spouse and kids, I need to do better. Hopefully tomorrow will be a more productive day for me, before I know it Rich will be home wondering what I did for four days. What has he been doing for this time, eating prime rib and fishing, life isn't fair!

Bathing With The Scorpions

After a couple of days of severe pain it is nice to be up and walking again. Mindi and I even went shopping for baby clothes and material for her quilt. I feel like I'm in a catch 22 where I need to exercise to burn calories, but if I'm not careful and do too much, I put myself back a few months. My Dad came over for a visit yesterday and to pick up some grapefruit from our trees. He and my Mom have been super worried all week about the hip pain I have been experiencing. After I showed him where it hurt and told him how discouraged I have been he finally said, "Teri, you are just going to have to accept the fact that you are crippled and awkward and just do the best you can and try not to get down emotionally." Okay Dad, thanks for the words of wisdom. I had Rich and Dave give me a blessing on Wed. evening and oh how I appreciate the power of the Priesthood in my life. As I got in the tub to soak my aching muscles I swung my legs over our huge tub and as I looked down my foot was an inch from this darling little scorpion. Here I was standing naked in the tub sharing it with a stinging creature. I tried to yell at Rich to come help me but he was in the office. I struggled to get my butt out of there as fast as I could, threw my nightgown on and stormed down to where he was reading and asked him why he didn't come help me. He says he didn't hear me. Anyway, I just filled the tub up with water and scooped him out and drowned him. This weekend is General Conference and I can't wait to listen to the speakers and feel the spirit. There are always things I need to hear, so hopefully I will be able to take it all in. Rich is leaving on Sunday morning to Montana to go fishing with Spencer. I hope they have a fun time, but don't catch any fish. That's mean huh! With Rich out of town I can do anything I want, Spencer promised me a spa treatment but that isn't happening, I will just be happy with a few nights of good sleep.