Saturday, January 30, 2016

Dad's Birthday

Yesterday was Dad's 67th birthday. Last year we celebrated it by having his funeral. I can't believe it's already been a year since he's been gone. As I've reflected on the last year I'm proud of some of the things I've accomplished. After spending many years suffering from anxiety and staying home, I traveled to Montana in a U Haul truck with my son-in-law. It took us 29 hours to get to Billings, going through Nevada, Utah, Idaho and then finally making it to Montana. While there, I got to go see Mt. Rushmore and go through South Dakota and a little piece of Wyoming, I think. Then on the way home we went through West Yellowstone which was absolutely breathtaking. We came down through Richfield, Kanab and Page until we got back into Arizona in Flagstaff. What a great trip. I probably won't ever go again but I'm so glad I got to experience that. In October I got to go to California with Candi's family. I went to a Renaissance theater where we had dinner and watched a duel between different Knights on horses. After a couple of days at the beach, we went to Disneyland to "trick or treat" with Mickey. There again I was out of my comfort zone with thousands of people, but I even made it on a few rides that scared me almost to death. Definitely won't do that again. This past week I went to the fair grounds with a friend to attend the quilting extravaganza. There were hundreds of people there and so much to look at. That definitely stretched my abilities as I had to constantly try and control my anxiety and claustrophobia. I was proud as we left that I had endured the experience. I wonder what it would be like to be normal, to be able to go and do everything I wanted without worrying about how I feel. Someday I hope it will be taken from me and I will be the person I was before the trauma of life. Tomorrow we are getting together to celebrate Dad's birthday. My siblings, Mother and cousin Barb are going to cook out steaks and enjoy dinner together to honor our Dad. This year hasn't been easy, there are still a lot of things I wish were different in my life and I hope to someday be able to change them. But I'm thankful for another year with my Mom and we hope to have her with us for a very long time.

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