HOT HOT Father's Day!

I have been home almost five days from my trip to beautiful Southern California and it has been so hard to get back to being productive. I have felt hot and sweaty since coming home and hopefully I will be able to adjust to this furnace we live in. I have had to fight some feelings of guilt leaving my home and family behind and actually doing something for myself. I think I went out of my comfort zone many times during the week I was gone and had a full range of emotions, good and bad while traveling.  I have been told that I am a paradox by my counselor. That means you can feel the total opposite feelings about the same situation. It was so fun getting away, but while away I worried about everything at home and felt some guilt that I was doing something for myself. Yesterday was a weird Father's Day for me. We usually have everyone over for dessert and my parents over for dinner. My Dad has felt well enough to plant a small corn and pumpkin garden in the White Mountains where he grew up. It just so happened that he was going to get irrigation on the garden last night at 3:30 a.m. So we had to hurry and have dinner so Dave and Dad could drive to the mountains, get some rest and irrigate all night. Because of some conflicts with church and other relationships we had a small group to celebrate with. I don't think men, fathers, really realize the importance of being a good example for their children. I know my Dad and I had a troubled relationship while growing up. He struggled with my strong personality and mouth. This relationship has hurt me in other relationships, especially with my husband. I am super sensitive about being criticised and hate being talked down to like I'm stupid, because I'm not. Anyway, I am just glad he felt well enough to do what he loves to do and I'm so thankful he was with us for one more Father's Day. It was important that he be around when Lennie gets off his mission in fourteen days. I am so happy to have my brother back soon. Maybe next year will be a better year to celebrate with our Dads.