"Loving The Self"

My daughter Candi was telling me about a book one of her clients had suggested for her to read. When she told me the title, "You Can Heal Your Life," I remembered I had bought it a long time ago. It was first printed in 1984 the year Spencer was born, so it's been around awhile. I'm sure when I first got sick someone suggested it to me. I was curious so I pulled it out and started reading it yesterday. I'm only on the second chapter but it mainly talks about how our thoughts create illnesses and if you can change your thought process you can heal your life. That sounds so simple, but after almost 60 years of negative thinking it's going to take more than that to heal me. Anyway, this morning I read about "Loving the Self." Self love is "about having a great respect for ourselves and a gratitude for the miracle of our body and our mind." Finally at the end of the chapter she talks about her sessions with some of her clients and after going through a whole list of things that are wrong with them, they finally just say, "I am not good enough." It made me think about my childhood with really well meaning parents who wanted their children to be perfect. Then I had the same feelings about my kids, I thought they would be perfect too. When that was shattered about a thousand times it made me have self doubts about my ability to be a good mother. I feel I did my best at the time but there is always that old, "I'm not good enough" that keeps creeping in. So for Valentine's Day I'm going to try and be a little bit easier on myself and practice some self love and give myself what others can't give me. I was so sad that I lost all the pictures I took over the weekend. I asked Jenn if she could send me over some pictures at the cemetery of the grand kids. She also found one of me holding Kamber just minutes after she was born. I will always cherish that one.