"Let It Go"

What a night, at 2:00 a.m. I was still wide awake, my brain trying to process all the information I got after spending three hours listening to testimony, for and against my friend in front of the Town Council here in Gilbert. I thought I would feel so happy and relieved when all seven of them voted against the appeal and will now allow Marlene to move forward in pursuing her dream of having a wedding and party venue. As I woke up this morning still dazed, there was such a sense of sadness that came over me. I saw the toll this has taken on my friend and the hard feelings that I now have towards people who I thought were friends and good people. The scripture "Love thy neighbor as thyself," did not come from those who opposed her. One of the council made a statement that when she asked the neighbors, "is there anything she could do that would allow you to not oppose her?" The answer from them was "NO." This took me back to an email sent to her from someone in my ward that said, "we wish you all the best, hopefully from another location." As I layed awake last night I thought of all the complaints about noise and traffic and how worried they were someone would get hurt. Then I thought of the ten or more receptions Rich and I have attended in that same neighborhood where the cars were lined up and down the streets and the music playing so loud I would have to sit with my fingers in my ears. I think the city saw through all the lies and hatred and gave some good counsel on being good neighbors and trying to heal the wounds that have been caused by this. Marlene now has lots of work to do to be able to hold anything there including getting the building up to code and figure out some parking issues. She has had to spend over $10,000 to hire an attorney and sound and traffic engineers and she still hasn't made a dime. It makes my head hurt just thinking about the toll this has taken on all of us. There is clearly no winner in this situation as I can see them still trying to make her life miserable by watching everything she does trying to find a way to get rid of her. When I was feeling so down and out last weekend when Rich left me behind when he went to Boston to bless Spencer's baby, I picked up the book "Let It Go," by Chris Williams. It is about a guy whose pregnant wife and two kids were killed when a teenage drunk driver smashed into their car while returning from dinner. As he sat in the car with his family dead inside, he says, "My thoughts went quiet, I felt at peace, and then I heard a voice that was not my own in my mind as clearly as if it had come from someone seated next to me. It wasn't a peaceful, whispered voice, nor was it the still, small prompting of the spirit: It was straightforward and filled with power, and the voice said, "Let it Go!" Life continues to be hard for me as I struggle everyday with pain, sadness and disappointment. Hopefully someday when I get to the end I will have done enough good to see Kamber and those I love on the other side, but until that happens I hope to be able to just "let it go."