My Important Mission

Yesterday Candi took me to the dentist for a cleaning. There is nothing better than smooth clean teeth, except maybe See's chocolates.  On the way we were talking about a recent incident that happened to her, kind of a road rage confrontation after she drove on the wrong side of the street in the parking lot of a Kohl's store.  Candi has always been really brave, and doesn't take stuff from anyone, but has gotten better since getting some "anger management" therapy. She is so much fun to be around and I love her dearly. Anyway, as we were talking, I could tell this really bothered her. I told her that I'm the same way, when someone says something hurtful to me it takes me a long time to get over it. It seems like it plays in my brain like a recording over and over again.  I've been reading a book called  "The Mastery of Love" by Don Miguel Ruiz. This morning in my reading he was talking about being completely honest with ourselves. How we can't control what happens around us, like what people say to us, but we can control our reactions to them. One paragraph says, "becoming aware is about being responsible for your own life. You are not responsible for what is happening in the world. You are responsible for yourself. You didn't make the world the way it is before you were born.  You didn't come here with a great mission to save the world, to change society, but surely you come with a big mission, an important mission. The real mission you have in life is to make yourself happy, and in order to be happy, you have to look at what you believe, the way you judge yourself, the way you victimize yourself." I know I feel judged all the time about my weight, my animals, my limp, my spirituality and lots more things. The mission is now to try and change my situation so that I can make myself a happy person, which is going to be a hard challenge, but one I need to work on.