"Roses In December

I've spent the last two days buying the ingredients for, and making green corn tamales. I don't know if they are on my diet, but they taste so good, I will have to deal with the scale next week at the doctor. Mindi and Dave are taking three of their children to a volleyball tournament in California this weekend. They asked if I wanted to go, but sitting in a car that long and then the games just seems like too much work. I guess I will just stay home and watch the two older boys and the animals. I have quilts to finish and Conference to watch, I'm hoping to get answers to some of the things that have been bothering me lately. I know there are things in my life I will never be able to change, so it's either me change, or just give up. I talked to an old friend yesterday, as I listened to her tell me some of her beliefs like "it really doesn't matter what we do because the Savior has already paid for those sins," it kind of put me in a sad mood. I let things bother me that I don't have any control over and then I'm disappointed in myself that I let others affect the way I feel about myself. Last Friday when I went over to spend the day with Ethan, Jenn and the kids, she gave me a couple of books she thought I might enjoy. I started reading one called "Roses in December" by Marilyn Heaveilin. I've just read a couple of chapters but it is really good. It talks about her son being killed by a drunk driver when he was seventeen years old coming home from a basketball game. After he died she was in a bookstore looking at some posters when she saw one with a beautiful red rose. The flower had opened and dewdrops were seen on the petals. At the bottom was a quote that said, "GOD GIVES US MEMORIES SO WE MIGHT HAVE ROSES IN DECEMBER." To her the roses were symbolic of God's love by giving us kind acts of service from others and the love we have for our friends and family. At the end of the first chapter she says,"perhaps you are going through a December in your life; a death, a divorce, or some other severe disappointment, and you can't see any roses. Let me share my December roses with you so you can start collecting a bouquet of your own and then share your roses with others." After I read that I went outside to count how many roses we have. Over the years Rich has planted over fifty rose bushes and rose trees on our lot. Most of them are full of blossoms and we will have hundreds of flowers on them soon. I will be looking at these flowers a little bit differently now and hopefully see that our memories are each a beautiful rose.