Everyone knows that for a year now I have been struggling with the death of our sweet grand-daughter Kamber. At times the grief has made me question my faith, my testimony, and even my very existence. Well, yesterday morning I had a wonderful experience. I had woken up early at 5:00 a.m. to use the bathroom. I usually can't go back to sleep but yesterday was different. As I lay sleeping I was visited by Kamber. I held her and played with her and talked to her for I don't know how long. She was so beautiful. She was so happy. I felt her love and her spirit. During this experience we went to different members of the family and saw them and then finally Mindi and Jenn came walking up and said, "where's Kamber?" As we went looking for her I remember being alarmed that we were getting irrigation and so I remember rushing outside to find her in the drive-way of Ethan and Jenn's house playing with the kids. I only saw the back of her head, her long blonde hair, but I knew it was her. I then woke up and just stayed in bed crying and praying and thanking Heavenly Father for the opportunity to spend some time with her. I remember on many occasions begging that I would be able to see her, to know that she was okay and to tell her how much I loved her. That prayer was answered yesterday. I am so thankful for that tender mercy. I have been dreading July 25th for a long time now, but my perspective has changed. I refuse to be depressed. I refuse to be sad. I know she lives and that she is more beautiful now than I remember and happier than I ever saw her on earth. I had a spirit to spirit experience that lifts my heart and strengthens my testimony of life after death. There were no words spoken but I felt the love of a child and know that only because of my Savior's love did he make it possible for me.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Spirit to Spirit
Everyone knows that for a year now I have been struggling with the death of our sweet grand-daughter Kamber. At times the grief has made me question my faith, my testimony, and even my very existence. Well, yesterday morning I had a wonderful experience. I had woken up early at 5:00 a.m. to use the bathroom. I usually can't go back to sleep but yesterday was different. As I lay sleeping I was visited by Kamber. I held her and played with her and talked to her for I don't know how long. She was so beautiful. She was so happy. I felt her love and her spirit. During this experience we went to different members of the family and saw them and then finally Mindi and Jenn came walking up and said, "where's Kamber?" As we went looking for her I remember being alarmed that we were getting irrigation and so I remember rushing outside to find her in the drive-way of Ethan and Jenn's house playing with the kids. I only saw the back of her head, her long blonde hair, but I knew it was her. I then woke up and just stayed in bed crying and praying and thanking Heavenly Father for the opportunity to spend some time with her. I remember on many occasions begging that I would be able to see her, to know that she was okay and to tell her how much I loved her. That prayer was answered yesterday. I am so thankful for that tender mercy. I have been dreading July 25th for a long time now, but my perspective has changed. I refuse to be depressed. I refuse to be sad. I know she lives and that she is more beautiful now than I remember and happier than I ever saw her on earth. I had a spirit to spirit experience that lifts my heart and strengthens my testimony of life after death. There were no words spoken but I felt the love of a child and know that only because of my Savior's love did he make it possible for me.
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3 comments:
Hey Sunshine...I am just sitting here in Sheldon's hospital room....checking out Peri's blog and then I started clicking on her friend's blogs and then they continued on into my friend's blogs and THEN...!..Here is yours! Anyway, I hope you are doing well...thanks for sitting in on my lesson a couple of weeks ago....you are a peach....you may be pretty darn negative; but, you make me laugh....so, to whoever said that....their spirit obviously has not been encouraged and lifted by your sarcastic and dry humor like mine has...their loss. ;) xoxoxoxo kit
So my eyes are feel with tears..as they roll down my face. I am so happy that you had a chance to see Kamber and know that she is happy... Saturday will be so hard, I am glad that you feel comforted I wish I can feel some soon. I just remember holding her in my arms at the hosptial saying to myself this can't be happening. I brushed her hair with my fingers and held her tight.I wish I could hold her again.. I know I will but it seem like forever. Thanks for sharing this with me. I love your family, thanks for being our friends
I want you to know that I am thinking about you today. I hope you draw strength from each other as you mark this one year of Kamber's passing. I am sure she will be with you. Love that she visited you! Gave me goosebumps as I felf her spirit and yours in this post.
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