First Thanksgiving Without Dad

I've been emotional for the last few days. There's something about Thanksgiving that makes me melancholy. This year is different.  It's the first year we don't have Dad presiding over dinner and we all miss him. I can't tell how many times these last ten months I've heard, "I wish Dad was here, he would help." The passing of my Dad has been hard on Mom.  She doesn't talk about it but I can tell it has taken the wind out of her sails. Our family is changing as the children grow up and have other families to go have Thanksgiving with. It really is a lot easier not having such a big crowd and lots of little kids but it still isn't the same. Mindi spent all yesterday morning in tears as she is struggling with some stress. Any mother that has five children can understand the worry and hard work it takes to raise teenagers. Sometimes it puts me back to the feelings I had all alone day after day trying to do the best I could, never seeming to measure up. I see Rich working harder than he ever has and never seeming to get ahead, wondering how long he can keep this up. Even though sometimes life seems so hard, I realize it could be so much worse. Last year I had the feeling Dad wouldn't be here this year and I was right. He fought a good fight and I can't imagine how much pain he suffered those years with cancer. He was thankful for everyday he had and when he couldn't take it any more he went home. As I was walked outside tonight in the West sky the most beautiful moon was coming up. I have so much to be grateful for, but I still miss my Dad.