Monsoon Over, Welcome October

The end of another month is fast approaching and I can't believe how busy the next few months are going to be. It seems like every week I have a list of things that I need to do, or projects I need to get done. This is also a month with five birthdays I need to celebrate, so it's crazy around here. A couple of months ago Kylie let me know she needed a new quilt. It wasn't just my normal quilt but one I hadn't ever made before. She wanted a Chevron pattern made out of blue and yellow material. I had some in my stash but needed to pick up a few more to get the affect I wanted. I literally spent hours and hours on this quilt. I have often been asked why I don't sell my quilts. For one thing they aren't perfectly made and I could never charge enough to cover the cost of the material and the hours spent sewing them. The only reason I do it is because I enjoy it, it lets me create something that others love. The last few days I've been working on a project for someone who has been very kind to me. I also cut out the strips and started the quilts for the twins. Wow! Trying to find two of everything is hard. I've been picking up sleepers and outfits but have a hard time finding two of the same size exactly alike. I've felt a little bit overwhelmed by the thought of these two little guys and pray that Jenn will be able to handle the stress and strain having twins is causing to her mind and body. The other night when someone suggested that Rich and I become foster parents I felt physically sick. I know there are so many children who need a home and I wish I had the patience and ability to help all the children with no families. I also feel horrible when I hear of all the animals that need homes and if not adopted are euthanized. I feel at sixty-one that part of my life is over. I just want to have enough energy to make a difference in my grandchildren's lives. On Friday night we went out to the Ethan's for a party for Kylie. She turned twelve on the 23rd and that's a big birthday in our culture. They had lots of fun things for the kids to do and had a carnival theme. It was a lot of fun but lots of work too. Tomorrow is Troy and my niece Alishia's birthdays, then Rich leaves for Conference on Thursday and the week is over. At least it's cooling off a little bit and the fall decorations are coming out. Today is the end of the monsoon season for us too. This has been one of the wettest seasons we have had and we are so thankful for the rain but the mosquitoes have been horrible. I guess we have to take the good with the bad. At least that's what I've finally figured out.

I Survied Another Bump In The Road

In the middle of the night I woke up feeling sick. I felt nauseated and didn't know what was causing it. I knew I had an appointment this morning to have oral surgery to put an implant in the hole left when he pulled my tooth last January. Was that what was bothering me? When I finally woke up this morning I was exhausted. I'm so tired of going through life tired. I can list a hundred things I'm tired of but that wouldn't change anything. When I was a kid I was so terrified of the dentist, they would have to sedate me to do anything in my mouth. I'm an adult now but that little girl is still terrified inside. When I was getting ready to leave for my appointment I was almost in tears. I went in my closet to get a shirt and started thinking about some of the trials I've had in my life. I remember a time when I was talking to Ethan about something and he said, "I've already been through the hardest thing you could possibly go through, so anything else doesn't bother me." So I tried telling myself that I've already been through hell, so how hard can a little implant be anyway? When they were taking me back to have the procedure done Mindi said, "Come on Mom, gird up your loins," that was my go to saying as we were planning Kamber's viewing and funeral. Anyway, I survived this little bump in the road and will spend the rest of the day eating soft foods and resting. I love my surgeon and hope he forgives me for being such an anxiety filled patient. I prayed that I would survive something that is very hard for me to do and am aware their are many family and friends that are struggling with their own trials, especially Jenn who is caring twins. We pray for her and these babies all the time. During my implant procedure everyone left the room for a minute. I started getting scared so I pulled out my phone and took some pictures of my mouth on the screen. It reminded me of a scary witch at Halloween, so I started laughing. I'm just happy to be home and can't wait until the numbness wears off so I can feel my lips and tongue and hopefully won't be in too much pain. I survived!

I'm Not Feeling Young Today

This morning when I got my morning wake up call from my Mom, I was telling her how tired I was. All she said was, "you are so young, just wait until you're eighty-five." The way I'm feeling today I don't think I'll live to be that old. On Thursday I went with Jenn to have a sonogram to check on the twins. It was so fun to see their little bodies and we even got a shot of their faces. Boy was it confusing to keep track of them and all they are known by is Baby A and Baby B. I was a little confused but excited that they are both doing well and growing. They are both about three pounds already and in the 97th percentile, so no wonder Jenn is feeling large. She looks great but I know she is slowing down a little bit. Yesterday I spent all day working on my project for Fabulous Friday that we had last night at the church. It's always so fun to get together as women and do fun crafts. I stayed as late as I could but they were still working on projects after ten o'clock and I wasn't feeling well. So I helped clean up the food and came home. What dedication it takes to serve in the church, it's such a good thing we have so many willing and talented women to step in and help, it was a very successful activity. Now today I'm cleaning and going to Tristyn's volleyball tournament. Everywhere I look there is something that needs to be done, but I'm sure tired and it's not even nap time yet. I have to keep reminding myself how young I am, my Mom says I am anyway.

Pep Talk From Mom

It's no secret that when Rich and I decided to get married he was hoping and thinking he was getting a carbon copy of my Mom. She is a wonderful person who is kind and loving and doesn't have a mean bone in her lean little body. What Rich got was a female version of my Dad, who is an honorable man, full of faith and love but just not as cultured or refined as Mom, and I might add he is a grudge holder like me. Anyway, this week has been extremely stressful running errands to buy supplies for our Relief Society activity on Friday night. I also had two fillings fixed in preparation for oral surgery next week to put an implant in the hole in my mouth. Anyway, I had an opportunity to try and help one of my children who is struggling in lots of areas of their life. As the conversation went on and tears started flowing, I found myself giving the same pep talk my Mom has given me for sixty-one years. When did I turn in to my Mom? I never thought she really knew what she was talking about because she was so old, things had changed in the world and she couldn't possibly know how to help me. It is so hard being a parent to adult children and watching them struggle. I wish I could take away all their problems and challenges. I wish they had the perfect lives with perfect children and no stress. But unfortunately I have learned by experience that only through these challenges do we grow. I hate adversity! Sometimes I get so sick of struggling with the same old things day in and day out that I just want to scream. Why does life just seem so hard sometimes with things we are asked to do? Hopefully things will quiet down and life will become peaceful and calm, but I'm not counting on that with the holidays coming and the twins. Oh yea, TWINS. It may be awhile before I will be able to sit in the rocking chair and relax, but I'm not giving up on that idea at some point in the future.

Who Really Cares?

Last night when I went to bed I felt kind of bad about my ranting post earlier in the day. Sometimes it seems like I'm swimming upstream with no way to get out of the river. I went to the oral surgeon to see about getting an implant so I can have a tooth put in the hole left behind when I had a tooth pulled in January. I was complaining about how I can't keep my stupid tongue from wanting to move in and out of it. After he listened a minute and looked in my mouth he said, "you are the easiest patient I have today. I have seen two people with cancer and some with other problems, I can help you with this." I started thinking about all the suffering in the world. How easy it is to get into the "feel sorry for Teri" mood. So what if my house is hot, water is leaking out of my ceiling and my pools turning green, who really even cares? At least I have a house to live in. Last night was the last night of Bunco for this cycle. I looked around at the amazing women that were there. We have so much fun laughing over a stupid little dice game. We have all had some hard times and difficult trials but for a couple of hours we seem to forget everything that's going on and just laugh and have fun. We also eat way too many sweets but who really cares about that either? I feel bad that I won't be able to play next year. With Jenn expecting twins, I feel it is important that I be available to help her. I don't know how much help this old granny can be not driving and having a hard time walking, but I think I can still do laundry and help a little bit around the house and with the little kids. These two babies will be our 18th and 19th grandchildren. I called Spencer the other day and put the pressure on him to make it an even 20. I think everyone else is done and twenty sounds better than nineteen. All he said was, "Ma, you don't need anymore grandkids, you have enough." So this may be it for us, we are kind of getting where it costs a lot for birthdays and Christmas, but we feel so blessed for the posterity we have and thankful for each and every one of them, especially our angel girl in Heaven.

The Dark Cloud of 9/11

Last night on the way home from Tristyn's volleyball game I became so irritated. It's funny how I can deal with lots of stress until I finally feel that dark cloud of despair come over me. Even though I'm in my sixties I still am so competitive it makes me crazy when I watch my kids or grandkids play sports and lose. Maybe I'll just stay home instead of putting myself through the agony of watching none skilled players play with coaches that don't coach to win. Rant over! Rich didn't get home until after 8 p.m. after he'd worked a fifteen hour day, done his scouting church job and helped set up the risers for the Primary Program. I had to let him know that having no air conditioning in my kitchen and laundry room all summer, water dripping into a bucket in the hall for a month, and having my pool pump sparking is not acceptable. I guess you could say I didn't go to bed very happy last night. I'm thinking the one bedroom condo with no yard work, and no animals is the way to go. The problem is that by the time we got rid of all our stuff and fixed everything that is either worn out or broken there wouldn't be a reason to move. Maybe my bad mood is because it is 9/11 today. I remember watching the t.v. for days feeling so sad and out of sorts. It was Spencer's senior year of high school and his final year of football. I can still feel those feelings of fear and despair I had for the families and what those people must have gone through in the planes and the buildings they hit. Lots of our first responders were killed also on that terrible day. Life goes on and I know we have had lots of growth in our family these last thirteen years. We've have some really good times and some that have changed who we are mentally and spiritually. I know someday the cloud will lift and things will get better, they always do, but until that happens I'll just live under that dark cloud and enjoy it.

"Life is Hard, but Simple"

For the last few days we have been hearing about this monster storm that is going to hit us from the remnants of a Hurricane down in Mexico. Living in the desert we will take every drop of rain we can get. Anyway, as I was getting ready for bed last night I was complaining to Rich about how the weather forecasters must be idiots because a lot of times they say we are going to get storms that never come our way. When I woke up this morning and looked out we are flooded. It looks like it does when we have three hours of irrigation. So of course all we are hearing about is the rain. First it was enough rain to call it a fifty year flood and now it may be 100 years, who knows. I know some parts of Phoenix have gotten between five and six inches of rain and it's still raining. I love the rain, it makes me happy, it cools the temperatures down and smells so good. Too bad it's going to get back up into the 100's by the weekend. A couple of weeks ago Len and Julie had a General Authority come stay with them for the weekend. He was one of the Presidents of the Seventy, so he's a special person. Anyway, they invited us down to meet him and have a little discussion. It was just Mary and her husband, Josh and his wife and me and Rich. Len asked him an interesting question. He said, "Teri and Rich have lost a granddaughter to drowning. Mary lost her husband last year to an illness. And we have had our own challenges. What would you say to would help us get through these trials." After thinking for a minute all he said is, "Life is hard, we just have to keep going and do the best we can when facing these challenges." He then went on to tell a little story about his own daughter and how she was still grieving after the loss of her baby. Yesterday in Sunday School we talked about Job. Have any of us suffered as much as Job did? And did he ever blame God? I have been trying really hard to receive some inspiration on what to do about my knee and hip. I have come to realize that someday soon I will get my answer. It just might not be the right time to make a decision, or maybe I will just be healed. I do know that our Heavenly Father knows each one of us and wants us to be happy. As they taught in the lesson yesterday, "Life is Hard, but it is so Simple." I'm going to spend the day inside working on some quilts and hopefully at some point it will stop raining so I can get out and feed my hungry critters.

Family Reunion 2014

I spent two days last weekend at a family reunion up north in Eagar and feel like I've been trying to catch up all week. It was so nice to be where there was a cool breeze and temps between 59 and 77 degrees. The White Mountains are where I spent every summer visiting my grandparents and learning the country life. I learned how to fish with a bobber at the lakes and creeks, and was introduced to  caring for farm animals like chickens, rabbits, horses and cows. It's like going back in time for me when I visit the property and now that my parents are getting old, I realize that someday it will belong to me and my siblings. We got there Friday afternoon and spent the rest of the night cleaning up, getting ready for the party on Saturday and having a nice dinner. My nephew Jeremy, who was just made the Bishop a week ago, was such a big help. He mowed the lawns and did everything we asked him to do. He is really a good person, he even made a late night run to Dairy Queen for us. On Saturday we fixed breakfast and then Len and Julie came, they left early in the morning from Gilbert. I was hoping Rich would ride up with them but he is so busy with work and needs to go up in a couple of weeks to drain the water out of the cabin and get it ready for winter. So I had to forgive him for not coming, none of my family came. Mindi and Dave are busy with their kids with volleyball and football. Candi had to work both days, Ethan and Jenn are expecting twins and he's as busy as Rich is with work. And then Spencer is in Boston so I knew he would be a "no show" they did surprise me last year coming from Denver. My nephew Joshua and his wife Amy came with their five kids. They are super musical and played us some music on their string instruments. Amy is an accomplished violinist and has taught her kids how to play. I could tell my Dad really enjoyed that, he came from a musical family too. I could tell this trip was really hard on my parents. My Dad had a hard time sleeping and would work a few minutes and then come in to rest. It's hard to see your parents get old and slow down. They both are such good examples of faithful service and to have their family there with them was so special. It gets harder and harder as we get more and more people to find a time to have a reunion. Dad says he's done with the farming. When we pulled up the corn field looked like it was a failure. But the corn was delicious and was just enough for the few people who came. My Aunt Nadine and her son Mackey and his wife Kim came over and had lunch with us. I'm so sad we haven't kept in touch with them over the years. We left late in the afternoon and Len drove my parents home in their truck and I came with Julie. It was fun to visit with her I don't think I've ever spent four hours just talking to her. She is an amazing person and I admire her spirit and service. I'm glad I went, and it was good to get home in my own bed. Now if we could just get some cooler temperatures to move in it will be perfect. I'm ready for Fall!