Life Isn't Fair Still

I learned at a very young age that life isn't fair. I don't know if it was when my Dad spanked my sister and I after church for fighting over a coat, rolling around on the floor after the meeting. Or was it when I heard and felt how sad my parents were that my Uncle had been killed in an airplane crash while serving in the military. Did I really understand at that young age of five that my cousins would grow up without their Dad? Yesterday after we dropped Rich off at the airport to fly to Tampa to watch Spencer play football, we went through Scottsdale to see my parents and give Mom some juice . As we exited the freeway there were three different guys asking for help, holding up cards saying they were homeless and needed money. One had a shopping cart full of cardboard boxes talking to himself like there was someone there with him. I turned to Mindi and said, "see, it can always be worse." The rest of the day was spent going to a football game, having a friend drop by with some yummy food, Candi came and did all our hair and then more errands, picking up groceries for dinner and dropping Tristyn off to visit a friend. When I went to bed I was tired and discouraged. I had the chance to travel with Rich to Tampa to see the kids and watch the game, but I couldn't make myself do it. I think I know my limitations and that makes me feel like life isn't fair. I called Spencer at around 9:30 p.m. our time and they had just picked Rich up at the airport, wow nine hours in a plane, no thanks. So today I went to church by myself, I mean with my kids and grand kids, watched t.v. by myself and had a pity party in my own head by myself. After attending the Landmark they encouraged us to do things that are unreasonable. I have really tried getting out of my comfort zone like getting in the ocean, floating down the river, and I even played Bunco last week with some friends, but getting on a plane flying hundreds of miles away at a high rate of speed just scares me to death. So, I will spend the next few days doing things I want to do, or maybe need to do, and hope that someday I will feel like I have been given a fair shot at this life, and realize I am doing the best I can with what I've been given.