"Extreme Larsen Makover"

I survived the "Extreme Makeover, Larsen Home Thanksgiving Edition." These are some pictures of my house I took on Wednesday night and Thursday morning. Rich decided it needed to be remodeled to accommodate our growing extended family. He had one week to get it done and with my tears and threats we almost made it. We were still mopping and dusting as guests arrived for dinner. There was several times over the last few days that I literally went into the spare bedroom and just tried to keep my mind from going crazy. I was wondering if maybe I was going to have a breakdown and be hospitalized for the Holidays. Yeah! Rich has often told me that construction is just one big problem solving experience and now I know how each day works for him. I have a better appreciation for what he puts up with. Even with having problems with the wood floor and getting the wrong paint color, we were still able to get enough done to have dinner here yesterday. I should have taken some pictures before everyone started coming in but we were still trying to finish while setting up tables and organizing the food. We had a huge crowd this year, I counted 65 people, with Ethan and his family coming later to visit. We missed Spencer, Annie and their little family who are in Florida while he finishes up his season with the Buccaneers, then hopefully they can come for a visit. We were so tired last night we were in bed at 8:30 and it was nice to not have to worry about doing anything but clean up the mess from dinner. Now hopefully we can get it totally finished before Christmas, that will be our next family dinner and hopefully Rich won't decide to do something else, I'm too tired.

 

Thanksgiving Renovation and Family Pictures

For about five years now Rich has talked about remodeling the dining area of our house to accommodate all the family functions we have. He told me a couple of weeks ago it was going to happen, but in my mind I just thought he was too busy and wouldn't have time. Well, on Thursday night I took all the pictures off the wall and by Friday the demolition had started. They have 72 hours to get it done before our family arrives for Thanksgiving, and I can tell you right now I'm a nervous wreck. I already feel the pressure of just getting my house clean and the food prepared and now we are in the middle of a small renovation. Part of me is so scared but then the other is excited to finally have it done. Yesterday we went out to the desert to have some family pictures taken. Candi's darling sister-in-law Leah is a wonderful photographer, but doesn't really like doing it. Mindi wanted her pictures taken for Christmas too, so it was so nice of Leah to shoot their little family. Rich and I haven't taken pictures for a long time so we just tagged along for a few of us because we are so darling. NOT! Because of all the rain last weekend we were wondering if it was going to happen, but I have to tell you the sky was so clean and blue and the Superstition Mountains were beautiful. It was magical and spiritual to be in the desert with all the vegetation and the beauty of it all. When we left it was about 50 degrees and you could smell the fireplace smoke and it smelled like Christmas. It's not everyday you get to spend some time with your loved ones in such a beautiful place. Last week I was asked, "What is the purpose of coming here and having children?" All I could say was that we are to have joy in our posterity because when we go to the other side that is all that matters. Thanks Dan for taking all these pictures with my stupid little camera, it was so nice of you.

Anniversaries

Today is my parents 63 wedding anniversary. I don't get too excited about other people's anniversaries because it doesn't have anything to do with me, but this one is important. Last night as Rich and I were getting ready for bed I said, "Wow, tomorrow Mom and Dad will have been married for 63 years. That is such a long time." He then said, "Yea, but 38 years is a long time too." I know being married to me has been quite the challenge and there have been times I have felt I should have stayed single and saved him from a long hard life. But we didn't and we have no one to blame but ourselves. I never really realized that my parents anniversary was also the day President John F. Kennedy was assassinated. I have thought a lot about that day this week as the news has spent a lot of time talking about it. I still can remember when it happened. I was ten years and in the fifth grade at Tonto Elementary School in Scottsdale. I remember hearing a message on the loud speaker that the President had been shot and he was dead. I remember them sending us all home from school and my mind goes back to that walk across the playground to our home only a street away. I can still feel how confused I was at what had happened. This week I was asking my parents about it as they were both school teachers at the time. I asked them what happened to the kids whose parents worked and weren't home when we were all sent home from school early. It's a different time now, I don't think the parents are as naive as they were back then. We trusted everyone, something you can't do now. I think our country changed when our President was killed and with all the dysfunction in Washington now I think President Kennedy would be ashamed at what our country has become.

Walking Down Memory Lane

Yesterday was Mom's 84th birthday. She and Dad are very simple people who love God and family. As I have talked about earlier, Mom wanted us all to attend a session at the Temple last Friday and then Len and Julie suggested the adult children go to their house in Scottsdale last night for dinner. Len picked up Matta's Mexican Food on his way over and we had a nice time eating and visiting just the siblings and their spouses. It's been a long time since we didn't have any children and grandchildren running around, so it was quiet and stress free. It's probably a good thing because next week we will have the whole clan over for Thanksgiving and that can be chaos. As we were talking, Len asked us if we had heard about the ten sister missionaries who had to swim to safety and get to where they could be picked up and taken to Manila in the Philippines after the typhoon. He talked about the missionaries crying when there was a storm because the people are so poor they live in houses made of cardboard and plywood. Sometimes I feel so ashamed that I have been given so much but struggle to be happy and content with where I am in life and have allowed others to affect the way I feel about myself. Anyway, as we were leaving their home we looked at the pictures Mom has on her walls. They were probably taken around 1985 because Spencer only looked around one year old. Those were happy times, four little kids that were healthy and happy and who could have foreseen the challenges we would have in our life? I have tried to talk Mom into updating her photos but she likes living in the past and at 84 she can do what ever she wants to. When I looked around my house this morning I'm in the same boat with baby pictures and graduation photos everywhere. I guess the only difference between me and my Mom is the 24 years that separate us, and every year she gets older so do I. 

 

Honoring Mom For Her Birthday

 

On Monday my Mom will turn 84 years old. For her birthday all she wanted was for us kids to go to the Temple with her and Dad. So yesterday was the day to honor our Mother. I am sad to say it has been a couple of years since I attended a session. After losing Kamber, having a hip replacement, and other struggles, I have neglected to do what would have helped me the most, going to the Temple. My parents and family are aware of my anxiety when it comes to doing certain things in my life. Some that cause me great stress and they know what bothers me, but I really wanted to go support my Mom. Earlier in the week my Dad called and said, "I know you want to honor your Mother by going to the Temple. I just want you to know that if you can't do it, we understand." The old reverse psychology at work, made me more determined to go. So yesterday all the stars and moon aligned and I was able to attend the Temple. I was so proud of myself and there were only a couple of times the old panic started creeping in. At those times I would think of my Dad sitting there with prostate cancer and how this might be the last time we will be together in the Temple. My sister came down with something and didn't want to share it with us, so she and her husband didn't come. My other brother has chosen a different path so he wasn't there either, so it was an intimate setting for us. It is good to have Len and Julie home from the mission, we can always count on them for support. This year I am trying to do things that are unreasonable for me. Things that are hard and take me out of my comfort zone. As I sat in the Temple thinking about this past year and the things I have done that I never thought I would be able to do, I was grateful for the opportunity to expand my life. I even wore my "I can do hard things" necklace I made before going in to surgery three years ago. I know life is hard for everyone and we never know what the future will bring, but today I am thankful for a loving Heavenly Father and his help in overcoming my shortcomings. 

Jelly Done, Stopping the Chatter

For the last few weeks I have been totally bogged down with our pomegranate operation. After picking and juicing for a week, then making jelly these last two weeks, I finally got to the end of my rope. I didn't want to do one more batch, and besides I only had one jar left. I still have a few gallons of fresh hand-squeezed red juice, but I'm done, no more this year. I could tell the stress was taking me down to a place I visit often but hate to be. I haven't been able to sleep which makes me cranky and crazy. When I woke up this morning I decided I needed to get back to the basics. I needed to read my scriptures, say a prayer for guidance and read a little bit out of my book. The chapter I read today talked about that little voice that is always playing in our heads. The conversation I have with myself is really important to what mood I will be in. I remember when I went to Landmark they called it the chatter or voice in your head that never stops. The problem is, there is no way to make that little voice go away. So I need to learn how to control my thoughts, something that is very hard for me. It's easy at times for me to see everything wrong in my life. The things I don't like about my life experiences and where I am. Last night as I was listening to the news some of the stories were heart breaking. The football player who died after hitting his head during a game. A husband who shot and killed his wife, fourteen year-old daughter and his brother-in-law. There was even a three year-old boy found at the bottom of a pool. Our family has been there and the pain and heartache that experience causes is overwhelming. So even though my life isn't perfect and never will be, I have a great family, testimony of the Savior, and gratitude for what I do have in my life, most of which I don't deserve. So the chatter will continue to talk to me but hopefully I will be able to keep the good and ask the bad to leave, so I can get some sleep and continue to walk my pathway through this life.

Life Isn't Fair Still

I learned at a very young age that life isn't fair. I don't know if it was when my Dad spanked my sister and I after church for fighting over a coat, rolling around on the floor after the meeting. Or was it when I heard and felt how sad my parents were that my Uncle had been killed in an airplane crash while serving in the military. Did I really understand at that young age of five that my cousins would grow up without their Dad? Yesterday after we dropped Rich off at the airport to fly to Tampa to watch Spencer play football, we went through Scottsdale to see my parents and give Mom some juice . As we exited the freeway there were three different guys asking for help, holding up cards saying they were homeless and needed money. One had a shopping cart full of cardboard boxes talking to himself like there was someone there with him. I turned to Mindi and said, "see, it can always be worse." The rest of the day was spent going to a football game, having a friend drop by with some yummy food, Candi came and did all our hair and then more errands, picking up groceries for dinner and dropping Tristyn off to visit a friend. When I went to bed I was tired and discouraged. I had the chance to travel with Rich to Tampa to see the kids and watch the game, but I couldn't make myself do it. I think I know my limitations and that makes me feel like life isn't fair. I called Spencer at around 9:30 p.m. our time and they had just picked Rich up at the airport, wow nine hours in a plane, no thanks. So today I went to church by myself, I mean with my kids and grand kids, watched t.v. by myself and had a pity party in my own head by myself. After attending the Landmark they encouraged us to do things that are unreasonable. I have really tried getting out of my comfort zone like getting in the ocean, floating down the river, and I even played Bunco last week with some friends, but getting on a plane flying hundreds of miles away at a high rate of speed just scares me to death. So, I will spend the next few days doing things I want to do, or maybe need to do, and hope that someday I will feel like I have been given a fair shot at this life, and realize I am doing the best I can with what I've been given.

Company, Jelly Making and Gratitude

 

Last weekend in the middle of our pomegranate operation, Rich's nephew David, his wife Brittany and young son Connor came down from Utah to collect some materials for their house they are remodeling up there. His mother is Rich's only sister and she is an amazing person. When we go to visit she has the cleanest house and the best food. She is one of the Stake Relief Society Presidents in Sandy, Utah. I felt bad because we were so tired and dirty when they came we got takeout from Chili's. Then on Saturday night after a day of hard work and craziness we had Rich stop and buy Mexican Food. I had to make sure that they knew we didn't eat out every meal, occasionally Mindi and I will put something together. On Sunday we cooked out steaks and had a regular Sunday dinner before they headed back to Utah. I have spent most of this week catching up from the chaos of last week and trying to put a dent in my jelly making. I have had a lot of time to think about why we do this. The older I get the more I wonder if it is worth it, as I see my almost 85 year-old parents sit and work as hard as they can to help get the job done. They are such a great example to me of pitching in and working until the job is done. I guess we can thank the old pioneer DNA in both of them. I know Dad wasn't feeling well and he thinks the cancer has spread to his kidneys. When he went to the hospital last week they could see he was pretty dehydrated so they gave him two IVs of fluids. My sister called to tell me she is worried about him because he told her he didn't think he had must time left "on this old earth." I don't feel that great myself so I know he must feel terrible. Anyway, we will keep him as long as he was meant to stay and then he can go meet his family, a father he never knew because he died when my Dad was only three days old. I also hope Kamber will be there to give him a great big hug. Life is precious and I need to be grateful for everyday I have to spend with all my family because we never know when the clocks stops and we are on to the other side.

 

 

Volleyball, Halloween and Pomegranate Juicing

We  have a family tradition to pick and juice pomegranates the first weekend of November. This year it just so happened that Halloween was on Thursday and our marathon juicing party was the next day. We also had Tristyn's last volleyball game of the year which is when they honor all the senior players. They have done pretty good this year but we could really use some really tall girls, I guess Gilbert just doesn't grow them that tall. On Halloween we were busy all day and Mindi tried to get Trulie to take a nap, knowing that it was going to be a busy night with Trick or Treating. She would not go to sleep, so finally Mindi just got her costume on and we took some pictures and as she got her in the stroller to head out into the night she fell asleep. All Mindi could say was, "Unbelievable!" Life just seems to go that way for us right now. Last night we were still juicing as it got dark. We took a break for dinner and then finished the rest and cleaned up. Everyone else had other things to do but those of us who were there to the end were so tired. Poor Dad had been to the hospital most of the morning having an IV as he is dehydrated and so his kidneys aren't working that well. He and Mom at 85 years old were there to the end, Dad juicing the last pomegranate at 8:10 p.m. There is such a great feeling when it is over and you know it will be a year before we do it again. We did have more help than we ever have and it was nice that Julie is back from the mission to help. As I was picking on Wednesday I had such a strong sense of admiration and love for my Aunt Tenna who worked so hard and taught my Mom how to do it. It will be fun to see her again and I know she was smiling down from Heaven on us as we forged ahead. Now the fun part starts next week as week start making the jelly, that's another story. I need a few days to rest and work on my house, then I will start the jelly.