Post Op and a 24 Hour Visit

This week was crazy with two doctors appointments and a 24 hour visit from Spencer. On Tuesday I went to my after surgery appointment with my surgeon. I had already taken the stitches out because they were pulled so tight over my knee it felt like I was being stung by a bee all day. I thought he would be mad but he wasn't concerned at all. I asked him to give me his honest opinion if he thought my knee would be well enough for me to travel to California next week. He said, "Oh Yeah, you should be fine." I told him that I can sure tell a difference in having surgery at sixty-one and the one he did when I was thirty-four. My knee has been so stiff and sore and so bruised it is a dark shade of purple. When Spencer got here on Wednesday he did a treatment on me and massaged the bruises. He really is a thoughtful son and wants me to feel better. He was only here for a short time going up to Young to speak at a scout encampment meeting Wednesday evening. They got home really late that night so we only had a few hours on Thursday morning to visit. He took me shopping for some pants to wear to the beach and then we went to Serrano's for Mexican Food. I never did get to go out for my birthday, so this was a little get together for that. My sister Mell came and so did my parents, Candi, B.J. and their boys and me. Spencer had to be back to the airport to catch a flight to Denver at 4:00 p.m. so he's gone now until I see him sometime in the future. They love living in Boston but all I can do is just hope and pray that someday they will move back home. It sure was fun having him around, even if it was only 24 hours. I have had a stupor of thought all week about my ability to travel with my surgically repaired knee. I want to go so bad and I have been looking forward to this trip since I got home last year. I don't want to be a burden to my family while I'm there and I will probably need a lot more help getting up the stairs and walking in the sand at the beach. Do I go, or do I just stay home where it would be much easier? This is probably my one and only chance to get out of the heat for the next five months, but am I well enough to go? When I'm awake in the night I try and figure it out in my mind, going through all the different scenarios of what could happen. Hopefully by Monday when I start packing, I will have received an answer to my prayers. If not I will just have to go on faith and hope everything works out. Sometimes life just seems too hard for me and I'm tired of fighting these feelings and indecision.

No "Do Overs" For Me,

I've spent the last month hobbling around on crutches because of a knee injury I suffered when I was twenty-two years old. After having surgery last Monday, I've been mostly convalescing in bed and trying to not lose what little brain power I have. It's hard not to go in to the depths of hell when faced with a health problem or injury. I have thought a lot lately about how I wish I could go back in time and have a "do over." I wonder what changes I would make if I knew what I know now. Maybe nothing, but I think I would make some way better choices. I would study really hard in school and not worry about my friends and stuff that wouldn't matter later on in life. I would take better care of myself and not put everyone ahead of myself. On Sunday we went to the cemetery to decorate the graves of our loved ones who have passed on to the other side. Because my knee is swollen three times and it's black and blue, not to mention I can't walk, I decided to just stay and visit with my Dad who hasn't walked the cemetery path for a long time now. There we sat, me in a chair and him in the truck, under a tree in one of the most peaceful places I know. I can't even remember what we talked about but it was nice to just have some one on one time with him. He hasn't always been a hero to me but we have mended the fences and now I just have pure love for him. When I went to the doctor today for my check up I asked him if he thought that by next week I would be feeling better. He shook his head and said, "oh yea, you will be way better by next week." So it looks like I'll be spending the rest of this week getting all my ducks in a row and packing for a trip to the beach. Last year I made a decision that I would work really hard so this year would be more fun. I was going to lose some weight and get a nice tan before we even left. Well, things didn't quite work out that way for me, just like always, but I'm determined to have fun with my kids and grand kids. Ethan and his family are going too, so I will have two of my kids and seven of my grand kids to have fun with. Even if I'm not skinny and tan and beautiful, I'm still me, and I love my family, that's all I can give them.

A Wonderful Birthday!

I had a wonderful day yesterday. After spending three days in bed taking meds and putting ice on my swollen knee, it was good to get up and out of the house. I had a dear friend and my sister come visit me in the morning. I had lots of phone calls and cards. As Mindi and I were heading out to get lunch with Candi and her in-laws it felt so weird to be outside in the sunlight. I know that when you go under anesthesia it messes with your brain. I kind of felt like I've had an "out of body" experience. It seems like my life stops, while everyone else just keeps on plugging along. Rich works harder than ever when I'm down, there isn't anytime to sit and hold my hand when there's work to do, and I wouldn't expect that of him. Anyway, after we got home from lunch I went in my room to lie down and take a nap. I was just drifting off to sleep when the doorbell rang. Here I was without any pants on trying to get to the door on crutches, while slipping on some shorts. It was one of our home teachers bringing me a red rose. After they left my three cousins came by and brought me some candy. While they were visiting, my other home teacher came by and brought ice cream and yummy cinnamon bread. Did I mention I've gained five pounds this week since my surgery? When they left it was time to feed the critters, so Trent and I went out to do our nightly chores. When I came back in my Brother Len and his wife Julie came bringing me a card and a bath bomb, that I will use when my stitches are out. When Rich finally got home he was wondering where dinner was. Nothing really sounded good but we finally decided to get some pizza and salad. So after that my birthday was over for another year. When I went to bed I had such a feeling of gratitude. I am so thankful for my friends and family who really made me feel loved. I know I don't deserve it but it means so much to me, everyone that remembered me, I love you all. Thanks again!

50/50 Chance of Success from Surgery

I spent most of Monday afternoon in La La Land. When I got home from surgery my Mom made me some soup and my sister poured me some Ginger ale for my nausea and I was "out of it." I spent yesterday trying to get my bearings and keep my leg elevated and iced. At 11:15 last night Mindi texted me from her house asking if I ever made it out to feed the animals. I don't know what planet she's on but I guess she hadn't noticed I never left the house and only came out of my bedroom a couple of times during the day. I know she is stressed out with her five kids and the end of school but she sure spaced it out that the animals needed to be fed. So this morning when I woke up at 5:00 a.m. I was worried about how hungry the critters were, so I recruited Trent to go help me get them fed. I threw in a load of laundry, started my dishwasher, ate breakfast and back to the bed I went. I hope if I ever get sick enough to be bedridden the good Lord will just take me home. It's no fun to spend hour after hour alone in a darkened room staring at the t.v.. The surgeon found a lot wrong in my knee. Torn meniscus, no ACL, my kneecap is messed up and I'm sure there is more I didn't understand. When I got home my family told me the doctor had said he only thinks I have a 50/50 chance that what he did would solve my problem. Darn It! I've been a little discouraged because the next step if this doesn't help is a knee replacement, something I don't want to endure, but will probably someday be in my future. All that competitive sporting events in my life have taken a toll on my joints. I have struggled with hip and knee injuries for a long, long time and now that I'm heading into my sixties the future looks a little bleak. Tomorrow I will be able to take the bandages off and take a shower. I've been putting a garbage bag over my leg because there is no way I'm waiting three days for a shower. Tomorrow is my birthday so I will be glad to get all the bandages off and have a nice hot shower. It's pretty sad when all you want for your birthday is a hot shower and to be able to walk without crutches. Hopefully next year will be better, but the way my life's going, who knows what I'll be doing next year as I'm approaching 62.

Rich Turns Sixty, Surgery

I'm getting ready to head to the hospital for surgery on my knee. I thought I would stay up until midnight and drink as much as possible so I could get hydrated because "nothing to eat or drink after 12:00."  Well that backfired on me being up seven times in the night between midnight and 6:00 going to the bathroom. Sometimes I wonder why I even try because now I'm so tired, maybe that's a good thing. I just wanted to give a shout out to Rich because today he joins us senior citizens. He turned 60 this morning at 5:00 a.m. His phone was ringing early and he usually just spends his birthday working as hard and fast as he can, good thing he likes his job. Anyway, I'm hoping and praying that everything goes well and I can find some answers to my inability to walk without crutches. Hopefully I will feel good enough to eat a piece of birthday cake tonight. His birthday present to himself was going to Ethiopia, a once in a lifetime experience that he would do again. I'm thankful for my family who put up with me and help me through the hard times. Hopefully this surgery will improve my life and I will be well enough to go to the beach in two weeks. But if not I will be enjoying the summer sweltering in the heat, sounds divine.

Countdown To Surgery

I've spent this week getting ready to have surgery next Monday. I went to the doctor on Tuesday for an EKG and found out my heart is normal. So those who think I have a "cold heart" are wrong. Then off we went for the blood work. I haven't heard anything about that, so I guess that's normal too. Then yesterday morning I went to get a chest X-ray. There again the technician mentioned, "at least you have a heart." I haven't heard yet if that was normal but I guess if it wasn't, I would get a call. I have felt at peace about having surgery, I guess because the same surgeon did this same surgery twenty-four years ago. Yesterday the hospital called to ask me some questions. Are you married? What's your religious affiliation? Do you have a living trust? By now I'm starting to get anxiety. Are you an organ donor? Do you have diabetes? As he was asking questions my insecurities kicked in. I know they have to ask all these questions, and every time you have surgery there is a risk. At some point the risk is worth taking in order to hopefully improve your life. The older I get the more I realize that every thing I do is a risk, a choice, and a challenge. It seems like everywhere around me there are people who are suffering. I just got a text that my sister is with her husband at the hospital because he almost cut off one of his fingers. What! I don't know what he was doing that would cause him to take a whack out of his finger but I will find out soon. All I know is that I'm laying low until Monday when I will be having my own little crisis and hopefully I can get another few years out of this poor arthritic knee. Otherwise I may just be staying home from the beach which would be sad, but not the end of the world.

Special Mother's Day

I had a wonderful Mother's Day. I not only have the "Best Mother Ever", but my kids are pretty special too. On Saturday Ethan brought me by a beautiful bouquet of lavender roses, and lilies. He is my son with the biggest heart and kindest soul. Church was good with the usual, predictable talks about mothers and just how special they are. I think I must be maturing because I didn't have the same emotions of regret and  sadness this year. I just had such gratitude that I still have my mother and that I was able to be a mother. I still think that most mothers do their absolute best at loving and nurturing their children but wow, sometimes you think you aren't going to make it through those teenage years. We had lots of extended family over for ice cream and treats. The oldest grandchild will be graduating from high school this year and we found out we will be having our eighteenth grandchild in December. Sometimes the blessings just keep coming, but with them always comes the adversities. I got a call on Friday that my insurance has approved my surgery on my knee. She wanted to schedule it for June 2, but when I told her I was going to the beach that day, she gave me Monday the 19, Rich's 60th birthday. How could I turn that down, especially when he can do whatever he wants that day. So this week will be filled with tests that are required before surgery. I will have an EKG tomorrow and then a chest X-ray and blood work on Wednesday. If I pass those I will be sleeping like a baby on Monday morning and hopefully will get some answers to why I'm having trouble walking. Then I only have two weeks to recover before I will be laying on the beach in Huntington smelling the salty air and enjoying the ocean. Say a prayer for me, I'm hoping for a speedy recovery.

"The BEST Mother Ever"

I have to be honest when I say that I will be glad when this weekend is over. I'm tired of hearing all the advertisements for Mother's Day presents. They want you to buy everything from chocolate covered strawberries to flowers and just about anything else. I was talking to my sister about it the other day and she said that she thinks so many mother's struggle with Mother's Day because of their own insecurities when it comes to raising children. When I mentioned this to my cousin, who has never been married or had children, she said, "I love Mother's Day, it's one of my most favorite holidays." I couldn't believe it, so I said, "WHY?" She then said, "because I had the BEST Mother ever, and her Mother, our dear Grandma, was the best Mother too." After hearing her tell me how much she loved this blessed day, I decided I needed to change my attitude. I too have the best Mother ever. They were sisters and even though they were different, they were both wonderful. There have been times when I have scolded my Mom because she didn't give me the right DNA. She didn't pass on her genes for being sweet, kind, forgiving, faithful and skinny. She always apologizes for the skinny thing and just tells me I take after my Dad. Darn It! I am well aware of the fact that I'm not the same person I was forty years ago. Life has a way of  kicking you in the head and changing who you are. At times I wish I had made different decisions but that never helps anything, just makes me more sad. So this Sunday I'm going to have the family over to honor my Mother. We are going to have banana splits, ice cream sundaes and as much sugar as the kids and grand kids can eat. We are going to celebrate this blessed day not because I was a great mother, but because I had the BEST Mother ever.

"Did We Really Shout For Joy?"

Yesterday when I was talking to my sister on the phone about some family issues she said, "I can't believe that we really shouted for joy about coming here to earth." Being an LDS family we were taught that we lived in Heaven before this Earthy experience and when we die we will then return where we came from. Lately it seems like the sooner I can make that transition the better. Eight weeks ago we had a litter of puppies born to our dog, Pansy. Mindi and I have been trying to make a little business breeding these beautiful English Golden Retrievers. They are expensive dogs and I wouldn't be able to afford one, but obviously there are people who can. Anyway, we had ten puppies born and one of the little females got sick and passed away a few weeks ago. Last Friday we noticed that one of the males was not acting right and brought him in the house, took him to the vet where they gave us some medicine and an IV bag to keep him from dying. We spent all weekend tending to him and dealing with the mess he made. By yesterday he hadn't eaten in several days, so back to the vet we went where they tested him again for Parvo, which is a deadly virus that puppies can get. It makes them have vomiting and diarrhea and that's what we dealt with all weekend.  The vet could tell there was something wrong with his intestines so we decided to take the chance and operate on him. I hate being in this situation where the dog is going to die if you don't do something, but the dog could still pass away. In the afternoon we got a call from the clinic and he made it out of surgery but passed away while trying to come out of surgery, he was so weak and it was a long shot, we knew. We buried him next to his sister and hope and pray none of the others get it. We do have another one that is showing some symptoms but he's not as bad. I just don't seem to ever get a break. If it's not sick pets it's other problems. I hope someday I can truly know that I shouted for joy when I knew I would get a body and come experience all that life has, but some days I wonder.

MRI Survived, Torn ACL

It seems like every week there is a new challenge. Sometimes I wonder if it's just me or if everyone's life is the same. My darling cousin Barb came and took me to get my MRI on Wed. She is a nuclear med tech at the company where I had my scan done. Her Dad was killed in an airplane accident when she was four years old, so she's been more like a sister to me. Our Mother's are sisters and they lived with us for a little while after her Dad died. I knew it would be hard to have this test done so I brought her for moral support and she sat right at the side of the table and we talked during the whole test. Wow, what a difference that made having someone I love and respect so much being there for support. One of the doctors at the imaging place is in my ward. I adore him and his wife and she is our Relief Society President. So this morning I called to ask if she could have him call me and tell my what the report was on my knee. It's funny how sometimes I receive inspiration and I know what I hear but then when I hear it from someone else it makes so much more sense. I injured my knee playing volleyball when I was around twenty years old. I had another surgery on it in 1987 and have been lucky to have made it this long without major surgery. Anyway, I guess my ACL is torn, in fact they couldn't even see it on the scan. Spencer injured his while playing football in college but he was young and had a bright future ahead of him. So, here I am again wondering what to do. I need some more of that good ole inspiration and the advice of my trusted surgeon to see what my future will bring. Either way it looks like my trip to the beach this summer is going to be put on hold. Either way it wouldn't be fun to go on crutches, and if I do have surgery the recovery time will be longer than a month I'm sure. Life goes on, there will be other opportunities for me I hope, but for now all I want is to go in my sewing room and make a quilt, maybe after I eat a Peanut Buster Parfait, yea that will make it all better.

"I Can Do Hard Things, Again"

I just got in from feeding the herd and wow what a gorgeous evening. There was a cool breeze blowing in my face and the air just smells so clean. We are trying to get back to normal after our horrendous week with Mindi in the hospital and me hobbling around on crutches. I have often wondered in times of crisis how people do it without a supportive family and the members of the church. We have been so blessed to have that safety net to fall into when going through hard trials. On Sunday in Relief Society we were talking about things that we did, that at the time seemed really hard but we were glad afterwards we had done them. As the sisters were sharing their experiences my mind kept going back to one of those times when I didn't think I could do something and I was so glad I did it. When Kamber was taken to the hospital Mindi and I went to their house and stayed with the little girls while Ethan, Jenn, Rich, Len and Julie and other friends went to comfort them. I couldn't make myself go, that I regret. Everyone that knows me understands that with my anxiety it is really hard to step out into the dark and do something not in my comfort zone... driving, flying, cruises, or anywhere I feel confined and not have an escape route. Anyway, the day we were to go dress her for burial was so hard. Ethan had begged me to come and I wanted so bad to go, but didn't know if I could handle the stress. I kept repeating in my mind the verse from Come, Come Ye Saints, where it says, "Gird up your loins, fresh courage take," and so off I went to the mortuary. I have to say that the experience of preparing that special angel for burial is by far the most sacred and spiritual experience I have had in my sixty years. To see all those family members there to support, love, dress and paint finger and toenails, will forever be etched into my mind. As I held her and rubbed her feet, I felt an overwhelming love for her and my testimony that the Savior lives and he knows me, poor Teri, who struggles everyday with imperfections and struggles, but I know he loves me even though I'm not perfect. Tomorrow will be another hard day for me as I go get an MRI on my knee to see what kind of treatment might help me so I can walk without help. This is another opportunity for me to gird up my loins and do something I wished I didn't need to do, but I can prove again that "I Can Do Hard Things," I think.

My Whack-a-Mole Life

Mindi came home from the hospital yesterday afternoon after they finished running tests on her. We are so thankful for her recovery and hope she will continue to get stronger and stronger. Yesterday morning as I was murmuring to Rich about all the drama swirling  around us, he said, "You know Dewey, everyday is just a big Whack-a-Mole game anyway." What? Rich is comparing all that is going on to a stupid little kids game? The rest of the day all I could think about was that analogy, then I started laughing. I could see myself hitting those little animals down and then another one would pop up. It does really seem like that is what my life is. Later on in the day I went to lunch with some of my kids who were taking care of Trulie for the day. They were asking me questions about life and what I thought the reason we are even here on this earth, and WHY we have children. What is the purpose of it all anyway? All I could answer was that I think we are sent to earth to get a body and be tested. We are also told to "multiply and replenish the Earth and have joy in your posterity." Now I will be the first one to say that I don't always have joy in my posterity, but I think this is an eternal concept, not just what happens here on this earth. I can't imagine my life without any of my children or grandchildren and losing any of them would be devastating. Been there, done that, and got the T-shirt. But I do know that we don't live forever and trials and adversity will continue to come. When the vet brought my rabbit home to be buried after he ended his suffering, he said, "Here's the Easter Bunny." I said, "well, at least he made it past Easter."

Sick Daughter, Bad Knee and Dead Rabbit

On Sunday I enjoyed the usual talks about the special meaning of Easter. The messages shared were about faith and hope in the Savior and how through the atonement he will make everything right for us. Even though trials will come, we will be able to overcome them and stay faithful. I thought that after Kamber drowned I learned that I can do hard things and survive adversity as it comes into my life. After a weekend of Mindi being sick, Dave finally took her to the hospital where she has been since early Monday morning. I have only seen her this sick twice before, once with double mastitis and when she had spinal meningitis as a young girl. She has always had stomach problems like heartburn and digestive issues but now she has a full blown case of colitis caused by some bacteria they are treating with antibiotics and IVs. I have seen a glimpse of what life would be without her. She is the quarterback of our family. She is the one that carries most of the load around the house, taking care of five children, a husband, her mother and all the other miscellaneous critters we have. Hopefully she will start getting better so she can come home, we all miss her. This morning when I hobbled out to feed my animals I noticed one of my rabbits looking sick and twitching. I had Rich's secretary, Amber help me bring him in the house where I found he was being eaten alive by maggots. This is fly season around here and with three horses and five dogs living across the street and our petting zoo the fly problem is horrible. So thankfully our family vet just came by and picked him up and will put him to sleep and end his misery. I went to see the surgeon yesterday and hopefully my knee isn't as bad as I thought it was. After I get an MRI, (if I survive it) he will determine if there is something he can fix by scoping it instead of needing a knee replacement. I know they say we aren't given more than we can deal with but I think I'm getting to the end of what I can endure, or maybe I really can do some more hard things, we'll see.

Just One Broken Leg

I woke up yesterday at 4:30 a.m. and couldn't go back to sleep. I hate that when my mind is racing about all that needs to get done and if I could just get a few more hours of sleep, my day would go so much better. My parents were having Stake Conference and because their building is under renovation they were going to have to go clear in to Phoenix, so they just came over and spent the day with us. We had a good crowd for dinner, even though half of them couldn't come because of conflicts. Life is changing fast as a lot of the grandkids are married and have children of their own. With Spencer and Robbie living out East we never have all the family together anymore. When most everyone had left I ventured out to feed the animals. My Mom comes out to help when she's here because she doesn't want me to fall and being on crutches it helps. Anyway, as we headed out I could see someone on the trampoline comforting someone who was hurt. As I got closer I saw it was Mary's boyfriend, Jeff talking to Elise, her ten year-old daughter. I guess he had popped her on the trampoline and when she landed wrong it snapped her leg, breaking it between the knee and ankle. She was screaming in pain and wanting her Mom and Grandma. It wouldn't be a Greer party without someone getting hurt. So off to the ER they went and hopefully she will be able to recover from this injury. As I talked to Candi later she was a little melancholy about life. It seems like as the kids get old, things are changing. I can feel a shift in my own life as my grandkids get closer to college, missions and marriage. Now I know how my parents feel at 85, you see your posterity and pray for them, but when it comes down to it all we have is Faith and Hope that they will be guided and protected. Sometimes I feel so powerless, I guess it's my control issues I struggle with. Anyway, as Candi said, "Easter 2014 is in the books," and I survived another family get together and we only had one broken leg, Awesome!

Because of Him

Today is Good Friday so the kids are out of school and Mindi is trying to keep them busy and even do a few chores. When you have this much land, animals and kids there is always something to do. Rich got home too late Wednesday from Scouts to go out for dinner and he's gone to the White Mountains with my brother and Dad. They went to help get the cabin ready for planting the garden, and maybe do a little fishing. Yuck! I'm still confused as to why at 85 years old and fighting cancer he would want to add some stress to his life but maybe that's what is keeping him alive. Our family doesn't usually get together for Easter. I don't know why, we just never have. Mom called me yesterday to ask what she needed to bring for dinner on Sunday. Huh, I'm on crutches and hosting Easter dinner at my house on Sunday? I did make an appointment with the Surgeon that operated on my poor knee almost thirty years ago. I'm hoping he will just tell me that resting, icing and anti-inflammatories will heal me, but the way it popped and the fact I can't put weight on it makes me worried it is much worse than that. There is someone in my family that is going through a really hard trial right now. I have been thinking about her all week and praying that she will be able to deal with it. Sometimes the actions of others make us go through some really crappy experiences and I pray she will be able to make the right decision for her and her children. I believe that because of the sacrifice of our Savior we will all be able to deal with those challenges that come our way. Because of Him things are possible that we never thought we could survive.

Thiry-Eight Years Of Living The Dream

I woke up this morning to a beautiful Easter Lilly and a sweet card from Rich. Today is our 38th wedding anniversary. We got married on Good Friday in 1976 and this week is Easter, so it seems fitting. Thirty-eight years of living the dream. As I was reflecting this morning about the last 38 years all I could think of was how hard life was and is. When I was a young mother I thought life was pretty stressful with the demands of four little kids and trying to keep them safe and teach them right from wrong. Then when we hit the teenage years, I felt like I had been hit by a bus almost everyday with all the stress and worry. Then as they grew up, got married, Spencer left on his mission and I became an empty nester, I was depressed that it was over and they didn't need me any more. Rich has been so busy running his business and working in the church, and I've been a busy stay at home Mom, sometimes it seems like we are moving in separate directions. There have been a few times in the last 38 years where the sun, moon and stars have aligned and I have seen a glimmer of maybe what eternity will be like when this mortal life is over. Today Rich is working all day, then going to his Scout job, and hopefully we will be able to get along well enough to go out to dinner. Maybe the stars will align again tonight and I will see some hope for the future.

Falling Apart at 60

I'm convinced that after you turn 60 you start falling apart. This year has been nothing but ups and downs, mostly downs. For the last three months I've been fighting infected teeth, viruses and now on Saturday I tweeked my knee and am sporting crutches. I tore my knee up playing volleyball forty years ago. I had surgery on it thirty years ago and now it has slowly but surely starting to give out on me. Saturday night late I got up to turn on the lights to my baby chicks. As I walked to the door something snapped in my knee and I almost fell to the ground. Rich was asleep so I just shuffled to the bed and prayed I would be better in the morning. As I tossed and turned all night I could tell it was swollen and something was wrong, but I didn't want to miss church. So I had Rich get me the crutches out of the garage and off I went. Dave did an MAT treatment on me last night and today it feels a little stronger but dang it, another thing to make my life miserable. I don't know whether to call an orthopedist or just rest, ice and MAT it. The first thing I thought about was how this may ruin my trip to the beach in six weeks. All I can hope is that I just sprained it and it will get better at least in time for me to walk down Pacific Coast Highway and feel the cool ocean breeze in my face when it's hotter than hell here. I guess only time will tell if I need surgery, but right now I'm not ready to face that possibility.

Birthdays, Bunco and Relief Society

Another week has come and gone and I really think time is moving faster than ever. I had a busy week with a Relief Society Meeting on Tuesday night, Bunco last night, and when you add a dental procedure and two birthdays it's been a blur. I ordered some things online to be shipped to my house for birthday presents for my son Ethan. When they finally arrived they didn't fit, so I made a trip to the store to take those back and find him some that would work. After walking around the store for two hours, standing while Mindi took Trulie to the bathroom three times, (she trying to potty train her) I am so tired I need a nap. We are working on the bulletin board for the Relief Society room and when we get everything ready we will go to the church to take down the old one and put up the new. This week I found out some troubling information about someone I know and love. I wonder sometimes how we find ourselves doing things that we know aren't right. Things that are so hurtful and can possibly destroy our family and eternal happiness. Sometimes life just doesn't seem fair and I have known that for a long time but when it hits close to home it really is hard. I worry about the future sometimes with all the temptations out there but I know that we fought to have free agency in our pre-mortal life and with that we can choose for ourselves what we are going to do. So all I can do is try to just control my own thoughts and actions because I have a hard time just doing that.

Having Gratitude For and During Trials

I really enjoyed listening to Conference this weekend. It was fun to hear my Brother's name read over the podium as he was called to serve as an Area Seventy. We are still wondering what this job will require of him, but whatever it is, I'm sure he will do a good job. One of my favorite talks was by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf. If it's okay to have a crush on one of the Brethren, it would be me having a crush on him. He seems to be so kind and caring and be in touch with his feminine side, if that makes any sense. What I got from his talk was that no matter what horrible trial we are going through we need to have gratitude for it and during it. I hate adversity and trials. I like the easy peasy road. I don't like having problems whether they are physical, spiritual or emotional, it sends me over the edge. About a week ago I started feeling like I had a piece of popcorn stuck in my gums on a tooth way back in my mouth. I tried everything to get it out, flossing, gargling, picking it out with a toothpick and finally trying to use my fingernail to get it out. I finally gave up yesterday and called the dentist. After an exam and x-ray she informed me that my tooth had cracked and that was why it was making my gums  sore and inflamed. She needed to take my old gold crown off and grind it down for a new gold crown. Total cost with my discount, $900. So now I have a missing tooth on one side of my mouth and a temporary tooth on the other. It makes it quite hard to eat, so maybe I'll lose some weight while suffering with all these dental problems. Anyway, it seems like everyday I hear of someone who is going through something that is hard. Nothing stays the same and it seems like there are some really sad things going on in the world right now. Showing gratitude for those trials is something so hard to do, but I think must be very important for us to do.

Fun Wedding Reception and Conference

I've spent all day catching up on laundry and ironing all of Rich's shirts. It was kind of nice when he was in Ethiopia because it gave me a break from my chores. But he's back with all his dirty clothes, and I'm just happy he's home safe and sound. Last night we went to a wedding reception of one of Rich's boys he had in the Teacher's Quorum. We had so much fun visiting and ran into some friends we haven't seen for twenty plus years. We stayed way to late and were up early because we had to get the yard done before irrigation. While I was resting, I looked on Facebook and saw that my sister-in-law and two nieces were in the Conference Center waiting for Conference to start. I knew Len and Julie were going up for their missionary reunion but I didn't think the kids were going. So I wasn't that surprised to hear Len's name read in as a new Area Seventy. Rich had to work today so I tried to call him to give him the news but he didn't answer, so I called my sister to see what she thought. Len has always been a good kid and I know he will do good at whatever they ask of him. After listening to him talk about how hard it was to be a Mission President, I have so much respect for them. I haven't talked to him yet and what do you say, "Hey, Congratulations on your new church calling?" I know how busy he is and this will add a lot more stress on him, but I know he will do all he can to serve the Lord. I love listening to Conference but sometimes it puts me into a stupor as I'm trying to digest all the talks. I know I have a long way to go with my relationship with the Savior, but I know he is aware of my struggles and loves me in spite of my shortcomings. Four more hours tomorrow and I will surely be spinning for a few days, but it is so worth it.