"Are You Giving Up?"

For the last month I've been all over the place emotionally. Life is hard enough without the death of a loved one. On Monday I was so tired from the weekend and hoping to have a good day. It seemed like everywhere I turned there was another challenge. By the time Rich got home, I was so despondent he just looked at me wondering what was wrong. When you are young and dumb, life seems so simple. When I was a teenager all I worried about was myself. I dreamed about getting married to "Mr. Wonderful" and riding off on that white horse and having ten kids. Except I'm afraid of horses and don't have much patience for that many kids. Anyway, after having four kids, numerous health challenges, disappointments and trials, sometimes I feel like giving up. That was where I was on Monday night. Rich looked at me and said, "After coming this far you are just going to give up?" Yep! That seemed like the right thing to do, crawl in a hole and cover myself up with dirt. I took a hot bath, said a prayer and went to sleep, not caring if I woke up or not. Well, it's Wednesday now and I'm still here. Everywhere I look there is something else to do and someone who needs my help. I'm just one person with lots of posterity that I worry and pray about everyday. Now I have a Mother who is lonely and I'm afraid is eating  less than 500 calories a day. Sometimes I feel like I'm caught between old and young and spinning in circles. No matter where I look there is someone with worse trials than me. I'm thankful for my blessings and am trying to see the good in others and in myself. Boy it's hard getting older and wiser and I'm afraid times are just going to get worse, but for now I will keep on going until it really is over, or I truly do give up.