I'm Still Debbie Downer I Guess

I wanted to write on my blog today but as the day went on, my mood started to change and I hate writing when I'm irritated, especially when I don't even know why. I think a lot of it is because I'm not getting enough sleep. Rich gets up really early to work in his office before he puts in his 10 plus hours on jobs and if I get woken up it's really hard for me to get back to sleep. I'm ready for fall and winter to come when the sun doesn't come up at 5:00 a.m.. Last night I was up late at a planning meeting for a Relief Society activity. This year we are doing a Fabulous Friday instead of Super Saturday, so we needed to brainstorm on some projects to make. Some of the ladies have small children so they don't start the meeting until 8:00 p.m., the time I am usually winding down for bed. Anyway, as the night got later and later I could tell my attitude was getting more and more negative. I've attended almost forty years of these activities, so it's hard for me to find something that I haven't either done, or that I know has been done before in our ward. It's also hard to find projects that don't cost a lot and that appeal to all the different needs of the sisters. I should have just kept my mouth shut, because if I end up having knee surgery, I won't even be able to help with it. I've been told by some people close to me that I'm so "negative" that I only see what can go wrong instead of having a positive "I can do it" thought process. I've even been compared to Debbie Downer from Saturday Night Live, who always sees what is wrong with every situation. I like to think that maybe I'm in reality a little bit more than some of those closest to me, but they view it as negative thinking. At what point do you quit trying to change and just accept the way you are, guts, feathers and all? As we were leaving the meeting my friend asked me at what point you think you've done enough service and you don't want to do it anymore. I know we are taught that we never stop serving and we try and make a difference in the lives of others through service. Maybe if I could get a good nights sleep my attitude would get better and I could come up with some good ideas for Fabulous Friday and think of ways to serve and be grateful. More sleep, that sounds wonderful, I'm going to try it tonight.