Survived the Heat and Fathers Day

I'm happy to say that I survived the heat this weekend and also Father's Day.  I've kind of felt stuck in a dark place since my Dad passed away and have been waiting for the sadness to leave. Sometimes I'm okay with it and then there are others when I wish I could give him a call and get some advice. We usually get together at my house with all the family to celebrate, but this year I told my sister I was done. Now that Dad is gone there isn't any reason to have such a big gathering. So I just had my kids make dinner for Rich and had them over. My brother Len picked my Mom up and brought her to church and had her for dinner and then we met my sister at the cemetery to visit Dad and put some flowers on his grave. I was surprised at how busy it was at the cemetery and there were lots of people who brought chairs and just stayed a long time there.  I wish Fathers knew how important they are to the emotional well being of their children, especially us girls.  My Dad and I were a lot a like and so it made our relationship strained at times. I knew he loved me, but there were times that he made me feel bad about some of my short comings, which has made some of my relationships with others hard. As he got older he became a much kinder and gentler person and told me many times how sorry he was for some of the things he did and said to me. It seems like I have some of the same struggles with a couple of my kids. As parents I think we try really hard to teach our children right from wrong and expect them to listen, but I'm reminded all the time that we were all given our agency to do what we want and I need to respect that. I'm trying to finish some quilts before I have my hand surgery next month. I'm making a My Little Pony quilt for Trulie because she thinks her quilts need to cover her from head to toe. I can't believe she will be four years old next week. Plus it's the 4th of July which means the kids will be back to school in four weeks from that.  The summer is blazing on and it looks like I'm not going to be going to the beach this year, dang it! That's okay I have plenty of stuff to do here, maybe they will take another quick trip in August.