"Swim With The Sharks?"

I just got home from shopping at the Mall with Mindi and Trulie.  We have four birthdays the first ten days of October. As we were leaving I said, "I think I would rather swim with the sharks than shop with a two year old." Mindi then said, "wow that's really harsh. Why do you think I'm in such a bad mood everyday?" I guess it was the time of day and that I had a full bladder that ruined my shopping experience. Last night as Rich and I were eating dinner Trulie came down, climbed up on a barstool and told me she wanted to eat some cereal. What is it about Grandma's house that all the kids want cold cereal and milk? Anyway, we quite enjoyed her little personality as she was ready for bed with her jammies on and her hair still wet with that smell of fresh flowers. I have been struggling all week with my emotions and have realized that a lot of my problems are about my expectations not being fulfilled. I think my life should be different than it is, but don't know how to make it the "Knew Possibility" that I was taught at Landmark. I can't keep doing the same things over and over again and expect my life to be happier and more rewarding, but I'm too tired to volunteer at an orphanage or join the Peace Corps. As I was sitting there looking into that sweet darling face of Trulies I thought, "what I would give to be able to have Kamber sitting here having a bowl a cereal, smelling her freshly shampooed hair and listen to her tell me about her life". Trulie is just about the same age Kamber was when she went back to her Heavenly Home. After five years it's still a battle everyday to try and understand the Plan of Salvation and live a life good enough to join her someday. I love Trulie to the moon and back, but don't want to shop with her at the mall, it's just too stressful for this old grandma.