"Get Out A Little More"

Last weekend after my Dad had a few very rough days, my sister and I decided to do some intervention. We called my brother on his mission and asked for help. Julie's brother Chris is an oncologist in California, working with patients going through the same thing Dad is. Lennie got the doctor on the phone and did a conference call telling him what he needed to do to relieve his pain and help him be comfortable enough to eat and go about some of his daily activities. Yesterday Rich and I went on a little road trip with my parents to the White Mountains to harvest the pumpkins and get the cabin winterized for the cold weather that is coming. We stopped on top of the Mogollon Rim smelled the pines and felt the cool air. It's been a long time since I've felt 70 degree temperatures. As we made our way to Eagar it was like I was a little girl traveling with my parents up to see my Grandma Slade every summer. We went out and started getting the pumpkins, they aren't very big and I think most of them look like gourds, not pumpkins. Watching Rich and my Dad cut down the corn shocks for me made me appreciate those two strong men in my life. I remember feeding grasshoppers to the chickens, finding horned toads and catching gophers that my Grandpa Slade would pay us 50 cents a piece for. It was also where the scariest thing in my life happened as I watched my grandparents home catch fire and burn down while my little brother Ben was inside. Luckily my Mom and sister broke the window, pulled him out and saved him from the fire that destroyed their home. It was weird to smell the ground of my childhood and after I got so excited about seeing a big black caterpillar Rich said, "Dewey,you need to get out a little more." I am so thankful Dad felt well enough to ride in the car for ten hours and be able to visit with his only sibling Nadine, before heading home. We got home when it was dark, we were beyond tired, but thankful to be able to spend that time with my parents, we never know when the hourglass will run out and all we will have are memories.

"Justified In Defending Our Friends"

I was brought up by very loving, but tough parents. My Dad is a Greer from the White Mountains and my Mom is a Turley from Mesa. Both families were pioneers who came across the plains for freedom of religion and hopefully a better life. When I was a child in school, I would always stick up for the kids who were being bullied or teased. My love for animals has caused me some real heartache as I have watched animals die from sickness or old age. This week I have been extremely upset for the treatment of my dear friend. I felt I had some friends who would show compassion on her and welcome her in the neighborhood. Instead, we were met with opposition and hate coming from lies that were spread from someone in my ward. Ouch! My aunt called yesterday from California to tell me about a hip brace she wants me to buy to see if it would help me with the pain. As I was telling her about my situation and after saying, "what an a%# he is, I got the lecture on not letting someone like him, who will be held accountable for his actions, affect your testimony." This morning I decided to look up "Friend" in the Bible Dictionary. I found the reference to a quote in D&C 134:11 which says, " We believe that men should appeal to the civil law for redress of all wrongs and grievances, where personal abuse is inflicted or the right of property or character infringed, where such laws exist as with as will protect the same; but we believe that all men are justified in defending themselves, their friends and their property." I don't know what the outcome will be, but I will continue to fight for a friend who I feel has been treated unfairly.

Life, Liberty and My Pursuit of Happiness

Last week and weekend were so busy. I was busy trying to help a friend get some problems solved, Tristyn had three volleyball games, I went to a surprise 60th birthday party for a dear friend in Lehi and yesterday we went out to Ethan's to celebrate with Kylie for her 10th birthday. I've also been trying to decorate my house for Halloween. WHEW! I'm tired. With Spencer recovering from knee surgery, I have missed watching him play and seeing the amazing show of patriotism from the NFL players and coaches. Last week when we were at one of Tristyn's games, as I watched her team line up, embrace each other and jump up and down cheering at the end of the "Star Spangled Banner" it was so emotional for me. Sometimes I take for granted the Freedoms that we enjoy living in this country. The freedom of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, has also come to my mind as I have watched some of my neighbors fight my friend who is trying to open her wedding reception venue. The nasty things that have been said about her effort have made me very angry and loose lots of sleep. Rich and I have tried to help her and feel peaceful that we have done all we can and it's in the Lord's hand now. I have lost respect for some who I thought were my friends but have a greater love and respect for those I know love and stand by me. On Sat. night it was so fun to go back to where we moved from and see some friends I haven't seen since we moved 16 years ago. Sandy had no clue that there was a party in her honor. It was a fun evening of delicious food and lots of laughs. It's also fun to get together with my kids and grandkids. It gets really loud and chaotic, but there is nothing as fun as hearing all of my grandkids laughing and playing. The older I get the more I realize that the only thing we take with us when we pass on is the love of our family.

Political Activist I Am Not

As I went to bed last night I felt confused and discouraged. After being asked by my friend to get her wedding reception venue approved by the city, it put me in a bad spot. It pitted me between a friendship and  some of the members of my ward, not a good place to be. I finally told Rich he was going to have to deal with it because I take things too personally and he does hard things all the time in his business. He has always told me that "no good deed goes unpunished" and I have felt that this week. Mindi and I went to my parents to see my Dad. My Mom needed two baby shower gifts, so me, being the professional shopper got to do that for her. When we got there my Aunt Sue and Uncle Carl were there visiting before leaving for their home in Sacramento. My Dad doesn't look very good. He's losing weight and his face looks thin, the color fading. He said he felt good, but he looks weak and tired. My Mom is always cheerful but you never know how she feels, hopefully she's dealing with things as well as we think she is. I don't know if it's the cancer or the radiation that is making him so sick, but I really don't want him to suffer. As I was talking to a friend this week it came up that maybe subconsciously I'm a little bit jealous. Pretty soon my Dad will leave this mortality and move on to the third act where he will see his father, that died when he was three days old, and hopefully Kamber. How cool will that be for him? This week has proven again to me that "life is hard, and not fair." Last night as Rich and I went to bed he said, "well Dewey, we can cross off political activist off your list of talents." Boy is he right, I feel so sorry for Mitt Romney right now, and I've only had a small taste of how nasty people can get.

Intolerance

I woke up this morning with the worst headache, one of those that feel like someone hit you from behind with a stick and your eyes are going to pop out.  I'm sure it's just stress, it seems like we have lots of that around here right now. Life was going along pretty well until we got thumped when Kamber drowned. Then with my hip operation and now the reality that my Dad doesn't have that much time left, the light has come on and I feel more aware of what the future holds. Recently I have been trying to help a friend get her home zoned so she can have receptions in a barn on her property on Greenfield Rd.. She's getting older,  has some health issues, and is also taking care of her elderly mother, which makes it hard for her to leave. Mindi and I sent out an e-mail asking a few members we knew in the ward to help us, help her, so she could get it passed with the city. Within five minutes of sending the note we got a response that "NO" we will not only not support her, but we are going to fight her so she will have to sell her property and leave. WHAT? Yes, we who ask everyone to be tolerant of us in our cities with the activities, traffic and noise want to shut her down. There is even someone in the neighborhood that is going around with a petition telling everyone it's going to be a bar and open from 10 to 10, which isn't true. Last night as Rich and I were going to bed still fuming about this issue he said, "I've been thinking a lot today that maybe it's time for us to move. Our house might be worth enough that we could get a little money and we could go somewhere else." After talking a little bit more we realized that we are too old to move all our stuff and I love my animals and he loves all his citrus trees. We love our neighbors and the ward and stake. So, this morning cooler heads prevailed and we will help Marlene all we can, but that is all we can do for her. As Rich was leaving he said, "There is intolerance all around us and sometimes the intolerance is even in us." So I guess we are staying for now, but will fight for justice as we see it.

HOPE

Two years ago today as I went in to surgery to replace my arthritic hip I had hope. Hope in the future. Hope that my life would get better,that I would be able to walk the malls, exercise, travel and do other things that were too difficult before. After two years of trying everything from chiropractic adjustments, therapy in the pool, and even losing a few pounds the pain has continued. After two sleepless nights this week I had visions of an amputation. How can I take this metal hip out and relieve this pain? I have prayed and asked for help to inspire me as to how I can move forward.  Wednesday morning I found myself looking through my purse for the card of my surgeon. As I told the secretary on the phone about my pain she said, "he's booked up until October but wait, he had a cancellation and you can come in tomorrow at 9:45." As I sat there listening to him explain to me that my x-rays look good, the CT scan looks good, there was NO metal detected in you blood, but you shouldn't be having that kind of pain. The answer is to go back in to surgery and do what is called a revision. They will take the old metal part out and screw a new one in and use plastic instead of metal for the ball of the joint. Then he will use stitches this time instead of the awful metal staples that held my skin together. I was so overwhelmed by his answer I covered my face and sobbed as the doctor went out to get the girl who schedules surgery. I felt the same way I did seven years ago when my OB told me I could either bleed to death or have a hysterectomy. As I was talking to Rich about it last night I told him that I'm not really scared like I was two years ago. I did something really hard and I know I can do it again. The only thing I'm scared about is that after doing it all again, it won't be any better than it is now. All Rich could say was, "but at least you will have tried." Life is hard, and it isn't fair, I have understood that from a really young age, but at least I came down and did what I was suppose to and "I tried."

Remebering 9-11

This morning when Rich was getting ready for work we were listening to the news about what happened eleven years ago today. It took me back in my memory of that day. I had just gotten Spencer off to school for his senior year and excited about the upcoming football season. I remember sitting in my nightgown trying to decide what to do first when the phone rang. It was Rich telling me to turn the t.v. on, something terrible had happened. He said something like, "you need to watch the news because an airplane just flew into a building." Me not knowing anything answered, "Wow, was anyone hurt?" All I remember is Rich's answer, "I'm sure there are a lot of people hurt." How could I have even comprehended the horror that would eventually happen that day? Last Sunday night my sister called and as we were visiting she said, " do you remember a year ago at this time we were in Denver going to the game to watch Spencer play?" I am amazed at how much difference even a year makes. As I listened to the names being read of those killed in the 9-11 terror attacks I felt so bad for the families. Even though it has been eleven years they are still grieving the loss of their loved ones. This week as I was telling Rich about all my trials, Kamber's death, hip operation, Dad's cancer and a few others all he said was, "you know that is why we are here, to have challenges." There's that old "Plan of Happiness" thing again. Spencer wants me to fly back to Boston to see him while he's recovering from his knee surgery. He knew when he went 2,000 miles away that I'm afraid to fly. I did at one time fly, I even went to Hawaii when I was young and stupid. With my luck there would be someone on the plane that was trying to crash it, there again maybe that's not such a bad idea, my challenges would be over.

"The Merciful Obtain Mercy"

This week has been hard, it's funny how fast things can fall apart and disappointments mount. It reminds me of a talk I recently read from last Conference by President Uchtdorf, "The Merciful Obtain Mercy". He says, "We are not perfect. The people around us are not perfect. People do things that annoy, disappoint, and anger. In this mortal life it will always be that way. Nevertheless, we must let go of our grievances. Part  of the purpose of mortality is to learn how to let go of such things. That is the Lord's way." Letting go for me is very hard and so it causes me great sadness in my life. I ask myself often is this really the "Plan of Happiness" we talk about at church? Anyway, I'm thankful for my family, good parents and special children and grandchildren. I went out to Candi's on Sat. and went swimming with the boys and Trulie while Mindi ran errands. With volleyball season starting we are busy watching Tristyn who was the only Freshman to make the Varsity and she's starting. I am so proud of her and her talents. She has been playing since she was eight years old, so those lessons have paid off. I have been wanting to make a flip flop quilt all summer. I couldn't find a pattern so I finally just traced a pair of the kids shoes and made my own pattern. Kamber loved her flip flops and every time I sew another pair on the fabric I think of her running with her little shoes on, and I know she even slept in them. I worry about my Dad who is feeling the affects of radiation. He will have a good day and then he will feel horrible from top to bottom. I may be moving to Scottsdale and help take care of him. My niece Aubrey was in a bad car wreck last weekend and has been in the hospital, so that's just another bump in the road for our family. Spencer had surgery on his knee this morning. His season is over and maybe his football career too. This will be the first time since he was eight years old that we won't watch him play, other than the two years he was in Chile on his mission. At the end of Uchtdorf's talk he says, "Lay your burden at the Savior's feet. Let go of judgement. Allow Christ's Atonement to change and heal your heart. Love one another. Forgive one another. The merciful will obtain mercy." I wish I knew how to do that, life would be better for me.