Middle of July

I can't believe it's already the middle of July, where has the summer gone? Before we know it school will be in and Spencer will be playing football again. I remember sitting in a desk at Coronado High School and watching the clock and thinking, "I'm never getting out of this place." That was 38 years ago. A week from tomorrow will be a year since our darling Kamber passed away. At times it has gone by slow but now I wonder how it could be a year already. When you go through a huge trial in your life, it changes who you are. I find myself looking at things differently than before. When I watch the news and hear about a drowning, a shooting, a body dumped by the road or any of the other crimes or accidents that happen, I feel so sorry for those people whose lives have been turned upside down. I have always felt lucky, or should I say felt blessed that our family has been protected. When I think of all the times my kids were doing stupid stuff, like jumping off the fence onto the trampoline, or jumping off the roof into a swimming pool, or romping their trucks in the desert, I wonder what the he#* were they thinking? How does any teenager live to become an adult? I was a super chicken growing up and I even did some dangerous things. Or should I say really stupid things.
I have been really angry at Heavenly Father for taking Kamber away from our family. It doesn't seem fair that her parents and sisters would have to live their lives without her. Life isn't fair! Some of the trials families deal with are beyond my ability to even imagine. I guess that is why we should be thankful for our own trials. I have told my parents on numerous occasions that I can't believe that in Heaven I told him I would come down and suffer the loss of a grandchild. Why would anyone agree to some of the stuff we have to go through? I think this is where the part comes in that we were so happy to come and get a body and have an earthly experience that we said we would go through anything, even these terrible trials. I hope as the years go by, it will be easier to accept that Kamber didn't need years and years here on earth. Her mission was accomplished in 2 1/2 short years. At times I yearn to hear her voice and feel her soft skin but I have faith that she knows how much I love her and miss her and she is aware of the suffering that is going on in our family. I hope she is proud of us and knows we are working hard to move on, to become better, to strengthen our testimonies and serve better. I know she is with our other family members like Grandma Fern, Tenna and Jenn's dad Leonard cheering us on and inspiring us to become united and happy. That is my hope for the next year, to find peace and love and know that nothing happens by accident. Our Heavenly Father is in charge and he loves us and knows what is best for us.