Stitches Out

I was so happy yesterday when I went to the surgeon and they took the stitches out of my hand. By Monday night it was hurting so bad I was almost in tears. The stitches were pulled so tight it was causing me some extreme pain.  I haven't felt the same since I had surgery. I feel kind of goofy in the head and my sleeping is different. I'm dreaming really hard and remembering my dreams.  The first night after surgery I was awake  most of the night. Something happens in my brain when I go under sedation that messes with my sleep patterns. As I was lying in bed thinking, it dawned on me that I have been in a very dark place since Kamber drowned. I took an inventory of the other adversities I've had in the last seven years and it's no wonder I've been depressed. How many times do you get kicked in the head before you start giving up and becoming hopeless? I was talking to someone close to me about all my challenges and he said, "You can't do anything about these trials, they are in the past and they are gone.  Let's get you excited about something, try and get you to look forward not backwards." I felt truth for the first time in a while. I can't do anything about the challenges I was given but maybe learn from them and be thankful for my blessings. It is always so much easier for me to see the bad things going on in my life than realize how blessed I am. My life has been full of ups and downs just like everyone else and I Hope to be able to start looking onward and upward because living in the past in not really living.

Moving Along With Healing

It's already Friday so I only have four days until the stitches come out of my hand.  It's been amazing to see how hard it is to get things done with one hand.  I have been so sick and tired of laying in bed, that when I woke up this morning at 5 a.m. I decided to try and do a little bit of exercising, made my bed, threw in some laundry, unloaded the dishwasher and even ironed a few of Rich's shirts. I want to go in my sewing room and try to work on a quilt but instead we are going to the grocery store. We are suppose to get rain all weekend due to a hurricane in Mexico so we want to get our shopping done before the storms hit.  I hate the way I feel after having surgery.  My brain doesn't feel right and it's hard for me to sleep.  I've also noticed that food doesn't taste good to me right now so I hope things will get back to normal soon, I hate feeling weird. I do hope the pain and numbness will go away and I will have some relief from the pinched nerve, if not I'm going to be one sad person.  Now I'm trying to figure a way to get to Montana to see Spencer and his family before the end of summer but it kind of looks like I'm running out of time. Before we know it school will start and we will get busy with life and then my opportunity to go out of time will be over. Oh well I guess there is always next year.

Surgery Is Behind Me

On Saturday we re-homed some more of our critters. After talking to a friend of mine who is licensed with the AZ Fish and Game, she suggested I give them to a rescue instead of sell them to someone that might eat them. The nicest girl came and got the 4 ducks, 2 turkeys and a large tortoise. We are feeling good about simplifying our lives.
Yesterday morning my sister took me to the hospital where I had surgery on my hand. In the waiting room there was a man waiting to have hip surgery. He has had lots of challenges having vocal chord surgery 3 weeks ago, 2 or 3 knee surgeries and his hip. He was all alone and after a two day stay in a hospital he will then go to a care facility until he is able to take care of himself. He had the best attitude and was just thankful to live in this country. He had been in the military where he had played football and basketball and was a proud veteran. As I listened to him it made me wish that I was more like him with an optimistic attitude about life. My surgery went well and it is good to be home where I have a support system and friends and family that came to visit and even brought treats. My visiting teacher is bringing dinner tonight which is so appreciated because I only got about 2 hours of sleep dealing with a bad headache and trying to keep my arm elevated. I'm so glad to have this behind me and now I am trying to figure out how to get to Montana to see Spencer and his family. I am still weighing out all of my options like when to go and how to get there. I need to feel good about my decision and I believe I will receive inspiration what is in my best interest.

Thinning the Herd To Get Away

Last Friday Mindi and her family decided to go to California and meet up with Candi and her family to spend the 4th of July on the beach.  I have to say I was extremely sad as they drove away and I knew I was in charge of feeding and taking care of all the critters alone. We have two litters of puppies right now and with the temps over 100 degrees that means everything except the farm animals are in the house. I did have a friend come over a couple of times to help me but I was super stressed out the whole weekend. As I talked to someone I love and trust about my situation, he gave me some advice.  "Get rid of as many animals as you can and do something different. Get away for awhile and take a time out." So for the last three days I have been placing some of my animals. My sister took one of my dogs to replace one of hers that passed away a couple of months ago. A lady in my ward came and took some of my fish out of my pond and the baby turtles in my laundry room.  Then last night I delivered my cockatiels to a girl who rescues exotic birds.  I've been on the phone this morning trying to find a home for the ducks and Mindi has some people who want our giant tortoises.  It has been hard on me emotionally to part with my critters because they are my friends and I love them, but they do tie me down to my home and make it almost impossible to leave. I'm also missing my Dad and my trip to the White Mountains to eat fresh vegetables out of the garden he loved to plant. Sometimes the pain is so great when my mind turns to Kamber and my Dad who have already gone home to heaven. July is also the month Kamber was taken from us, so that's another struggle. I know I don't have the corner on problems and sadness. My cousin was in a motorcycle accident two weeks ago and has been in a coma in the hospital and another cousin in California has just been diagnosed with  Alzheimer's at the age of sixty, which is extremely sad for her family. Hopefully my decision to rehome some of my animals will make it easier to get away. Spencer wants me to go to Montana for a month as soon as I can. He is taking one of the puppies from my golden retriever litter, so maybe it will work out to take the dog to him and get out of the heat. Now that's something to look forward to.

Sweating and Quilting

This is the part of the summer that really gets me down.  It seems like most people are out of town with their families for the 4th of July but because of our situation, I'm stuck here taking care of animals, trying to make sure they don't die from the heat. I have three air conditioners going and it seems like my house still doesn't get below 79 or 80 degrees.  I feel guilty even saying anything about the heat because I know there are those who work outside in it all day long. I couldn't do it, never. Rich has been getting up at 3:30 a.m. the last week and when his alarm went off in bed this morning, I realized I need to find a different place to sleep. Rich does okay on five hours of sleep but it just makes me a crazy person, so I have another problem to solve. Tomorrow is Trulie's birthday so I've been working on a quilt for her.  I finally finished it this morning so now I can start on another project, something that is inside for sure.