Saturday, December 13, 2008

A Child's Prayer

Almost every morning I wake up with a heavy heart and tears in my eyes. I usually try to get up and make my bed and start working around the house to distract my sadness. This morning I woke up to the words to the Primary song running through my mind. The words, "Heavenly Father, are you really there? And do you hear and answer every child's prayer? Some say that heaven is far away, But I feel it close around me as I pray." Mindi and I teach the 10-11 year old girls in Primary. Can I just tell you it is the best job. These girls are special. They are smarter than Mindi and I put together and their knowledge of the gospel is unbelievable. Just being around them makes us better. I have always loved hearing children sing the songs but since Kambers' passing I have even felt stonger about the testimony borne by singing these songs. At 55 years old I am still wondering, Heavenly Father, are you really there? At times I am sure he is aware of the suffering of people in my family and those others around me, but there are those times that I wonder if all of this is really true. Are we really going to be together on the other side? Will we see Kamber again? What about Tenna and Grandma Fern? I know this is all part of the grieving process, but it really sucks! You never really know about your testimony until you go through the depths of hell.

2 comments:

larsen family said...

AMEN! This definitely is testing our testimonies to the very core. Every time I wonder if Heavenly Father is really there I get a feeling strong feeling that he is. I know that he knows that I am upset at him right now and I feel he understands and doesn't hold it against me. He knows it is part of the grieving process and he is just waiting for me to pass through it. He knows our hearts and he is sorry also that we have to endure this pain but he knows somehow that we are strong enough. I just can't see where he gets the idea but I just walk along this path clinging to faith. It doesn't make me feel any better but it does give me hope.

The McNeil Family said...

Thanks for sharing this, when i am struggling i think this very same thing.